Hello. I have a question. Last days were the ones of difficult struggle for me. I've been in a critical situation just a step of relapsing (all of sudden - the reboot until now was quite calm) and what I have learnt, that one of the worst things that can happen in this situation is total lack of motivation to abstain. You probably know the situation - the hearth is beating like a hell, you can feel the blood pumping in your body and you don't care about any other things. "You" just want to do it at the moment. No matter what it costs. And it seems that ale the struggle has no meaning at all, that it won't give you the pleasure of orgasming and that it's just torturing of yourself. And it's just a moment. If you are able to sustain, this feeling will fade away in few minutes and you're sane again (I guess it's just some hormonal process inside the body which affects the mind). But at the moment, you are without this help.. it's scary. One of the several things which led me for abstaining in the situation was a thought that I was able to make almost for six weeks and it's a long time to start again. And also a shame that I would have to admit my fail to all of you in my diary (this is funny - it seems to me that I can hardly control myself against this craving, but I don't want to lie here.. probably because it would be same as lying to myself). So.. these are pretty poor reasons to stick with decision, right? I mean.. only thing that matter is to not fail against the craving. But what I mean.. it seemed to me more noble until now. But after these hard moments I can see throught more clearly and it's.. disturbing. So this is probably a question for people with a longer streaks.. what are your thoughts on motivation and reasons to continue in these worst moments? You know I've got a good motivation in my daily life and I think it's a good one. But in these moments of the larges craving it's like it's not me. It's like the worst parts of me are speaking in my mind. Does that make any sense? I am a bit unsure if I was able to explain what I wanted to say. Thank you for your responses.