Lack of physical/emotional intimacy

Hi,

One of the main drivers of my urge to PMO is the lack of physical and emotional intimacy I have in my life.

I moved to a new city five months ago and have built a new social circle (including men and women) from scratch, which is great. However I don't get to see these people often due to their schedules.

I've been dancing kizomba for about five months, which is fantastic exposure to being intimate and connected with a woman. However I only get to do that once a week at most. I've felt incredibly connected to some of the women I've danced with, but due to the nature of social dancing I can't make any assumptions about their interest in me based on that.

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I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend. I've been on dates with various girls over the last three years, but they went nowhere. The first woman I slept with (almost two years ago) was incredible - she really accepted me for who I was and surrendered herself to me. We were truly connected with each other. However, due to my PMO at the time, I couldn't climax (still kicking myself to this day over it). Sadly our paths have diverged and we'll never see each other again. I yearn for that level of connection with another woman - it's absolutely electric!

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I've made lots of positive changes in my life over the last three years. Thriving in my job, bought my first house, moved to a vibrant city, made new friends, gained some muscle, improved my appearance, learned to dance. I try to embrace people more warmly than before (e.g. I hug them (double-kiss for the girls at dancing)) when I meet them so that I can help fulfil their intimacy needs. But despite all of this the lack of physical and emotional intimacy in my life has really been getting me down again since I started my latest PMO abstinence streak more than three weeks ago.

The kicker is that over the last two years ago I've actually spotted girls checking me out a few times. I've been told that I'm good looking by hot girls (already in relationships) and male friends I'd only just met. But I can't translate that into success with women. I currently can't engage with women I'm attracted to without expecting something in return (because I'm so impoverished in terms of intimacy).

It's feels like a chicken and egg situation - I need the intimacy in the first place to get the intimacy (because then I don't need it - I can take it or leave it because I already have it). Have any of you found ways to get your physical and emotional intimacy needs met?

Andrew

 

Thanks for the advice - much appreciated.

I'm trying to enjoy dancing, work and meeting new people, but I feel held back in my enjoyment by the lack of intimacy. Like other people can somehow feel how lonely I am despite my outward behaviour (perhaps I'm being paranoid). How do you truly enjoy your life when there's such a void of intimacy in your life?

Andrew