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LDR girlfriend is sending me nudes

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mowings1, Sep 7, 2016.

  1. Mowings1

    Mowings1 New Fapstronaut

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    I've been participating in NoFap for almost 2 weeks now and it has been great overall. I have a lot more energy and certain things turn me on more than they used to like a sculpture of a naked lady in a museum I walked through the other day. Ultimately, I have been able to control everything thus far. My girlfriend is completely aware of what I am doing and she loves it. We plan to have sex when we see each other in a month so I am really just stopping the porn and masturbation.

    The tricky part is that she has been sending me nudes playfully teasing me, which is fine in my opinion because I have been able to conquer the urge of fapping to any of her pictures since she began. In addition, I do not look at these pictures compulsively. They are just there if I want something to remind me of her intimately. I want the opinion of some guys that are experienced fapstronauts. Do you think I should ask her to stop with the pictures? Or do you find this behavior acceptable within the P.M. code?

    Thanks for reading!
     
    K.C_Cage likes this.
  2. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    Uhh, ask her to stop now. It's going to lead to a relapse, I see it.
     
  3. cincinandy

    cincinandy Fapstronaut

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    Been there before. It's not going to do you any favors. You may be viewing those photos appropriately (in your opinion), but it has the same affect as porn on a physiological level. You're getting "intimate" with a picture instead of a real person. I'd ask her to refrain - since she already knows what you're doing there shouldn't be an issue. That's just my 2 cents though...
     
  4. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    And in a way, I have to question her motives for doing it. She knows about your PMO problem, and she's purposely aggravating that. Like what the heck? Just wait until you see her, she needs to stop.
     
    Lazarus Shuttlesworth likes this.
  5. Mowings1

    Mowings1 New Fapstronaut

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    I think there is a significant difference from viewing a naked picture from a familiar person you have a healthy intimate relationship with compared to unrealistic porn. In her defense, she asked me before sending anything x-rated. I said yes because when I see her naked body, it reminds me of positive moments we had together. Unlike porn, which makes me feel compulsive and destructive.

    On the other hand, I appreciate the feedback and can see how slippery a slope this could be. Thanks.
     
    K.C_Cage likes this.
  6. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

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    Say something along the lines of "I love knowing you're thinking of me, and want to share yourself with me, but I want to wait for the real you; she's more than worth it. From a distance, I can hear from your real mind, and real heart - they come across in completeness when you write or talk to me. Let's do what's real, so let's save the physical for when we're physically together, and bond with our minds and hearts across the miles." It needs work, but that's the general idea to communicate, I think. But I wrecked my marriage so don't take my advice as some sort of manual, lol
     
    Mowings1 likes this.
  7. GSarosi

    GSarosi Guest

    I was doing quite well for some +150 days and fell into the predicament as yours come day 152. On day 152 I fell while on vacation with her. And now I am in a self imposed non-countable three week rewire/reboot within a rewire/reboot mode.

    She is sending nudie pics to you not because she wants to get you all hot and bothered. She is doing it because you have become some sort of challenge and she wants to break you down. Since she knows your situation she should know better but when it comes to women why bother. LOL. In any case if you are strong enough her nudie pics shouldn't do a thing for you. If not tell her to cut the crap.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2016
    Lone_Wolf likes this.
  8. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

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    It's unfair, uncharitable, and arrogant to assume her motives. It sounds a lot a distasteful and incorrect assumption that all women are succubi, and their wiles bent on our corruption. Let's scale back on declarations of the unknowable.
     
    oversexedsami likes this.
  9. GSarosi

    GSarosi Guest

    I am going to lose some good amount of sleep over that comment. And.... I want ice cream.
     
  10. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

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    Ice cream is good. I also want some.
     
  11. Mowings1

    Mowings1 New Fapstronaut

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    Can you elaborate a little bit on why/how this happened? Also what did you do to break? Use porn, masturbated or both? Was this part of the "chaser effect" after you presumably had sex with your gf on vacation? Thanks for your response.
     
    K.C_Cage likes this.
  12. GSarosi

    GSarosi Guest

    Finally someone asked. At least someone is paying attention.

    Last week of August took a female companion/"buddy" with me to Vegas for four days. We were attracted to each other for sometime but never to seem to pull that trigger. We never truly dated btw. Anyways one thing lead to another our timing meshed and she decided to hang with me to Vegas. Not going into too much details but we were flirting and teasing a lot throughout our trip. There were a few times she played porn on tv when we were in our room. That really didn't set me off. It was a combination of things. Put it simply my distaste for porn intrigue her as I didn't tell her about my reboot/rewire. Then I finally did. This was on our second night. By the third and fourth night forget it. Her onslaught teasing, nudie selfies to my phone, her shopping at Agent Provocateur and the porn. I "relapsed" because there were a few favorite scenes of mine that I totally forgot about that showed up. I got an immense hard on then she held back just to mess with my head for a bit. Then she gave me a handjob. This was her way of throwing me a bone and some table scraps to indicate she has found my breaking point. After that knowing she finally got to me I gave in while all that porn was playing in the background. This then lead to full on nothing held back sex. This was the last half of our trip. I didn't masturbate. Her teasing with the porn playing in the background that finally took down my willpower.

    Once the trip ended and we got back she became somewhat cold and distant. After what happened I realized she is not long term material so I don't really care much myself. Nor do I want her around as some f*ck buddy either. As fun and "messed up" this trip was looking back if this girl stays too long in my life it is not going to go well down the road. So I am going to leave it at that. Some connections are not meant to last.

    This is my relapse if you want to call it that. So now I am on a three week reset of a reset. Once this three weeks are over I am recounting the days again.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2016
  13. I Shall Win

    I Shall Win Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't call that relapse. There are a lot of things there which are somewhat out of ordinary but whatever you did was with a woman so not everything is lost. But then again that's just my opinion.

    As for the topic discussed here:Tell her to stop it, like right away!
    I have been in a long distance relationship and I know how it gets. First is the pictures and the next is full blown relapse.
    I relapsed more than I can remember from these pictures.
    Don't do it!
     
  14. GSarosi

    GSarosi Guest

    Simply put if your willpower is not strong enough those nudie pics are going to work against you. Now if your willpower is through the roof whatever is thrown your way is not going to register. Water under the bridge. It may even motivate you and even make you stronger in fighting back.

    The purpose of my reboot/rewire was to get rid of scenes in my head. After deleting my stash and in those 152 days I was forgetting them in the process. Until she bought porn when we were in our room and it so happens a few of my favorite scenes were there.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2016
  15. sf_guy

    sf_guy Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like she is manipulating you and not respecting your boundaries. How would you feel if, say, you were an alcoholic and she came and put a shot in front of you or if you were overweight and dieting and she sent a piece of cake from room service.

    I'm not saying there's anything wrong with people in relationships sending sexy pictures or texts as a way to flirt, such as "it's Friday and in two hours here's what's waiting for you" but if your partner KNOWS these things are an issue for you then it's passive aggressive to be sending them IMO
     
    GSarosi likes this.
  16. Receiving nudes is a relapse waiting to happen.
     
    AllanTheCowboy likes this.

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