Edit: I'm new here. This is my first post! Open to tips/advice/questions! My boyfriend is a PA for 8-9 years. He lied to me about it for the 2 years we have been together. He finally came clean one night after I had (one of many) breakdowns feeling like he didn't want me. He would reject me constantly when I tried to pursue him for sex and never tried to pursue me. I always assumed it was because I didn't measure up to girls from his past that he liked to keep in contact with (different problem altogether.) I don't have a sexual history myself other than with him. He let me lie next to him in bed and cry myself to sleep night after night knowing that he was the reason I was feeling so unloved. I don't know where to begin forgiving him for making me feel this way. Now, not only do I have the jealousy from his past, but from these girls online that he was choosing to get off to over me - the woman he claimed he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. How do you move past the jealousy and the hurt? I truly do want to spend the rest of my life with this man, but for a long time now the heartache has been almost more than the love I feel. Where do I even begin?