Learning what it means to be patient

If there was ever a virtue that was almost universally hated and simultaneously unavoidable, I think that one is patience. It really can be dreadful just simply waiting for some payoff. We detest what feels like wasted time as that payoff slowly slowly approaches at a pace that puts crippled snails to shame. Why? Why I ask does this take so long? When will I finally start to get a payoff for all this waiting?

As I am wont, I go back reframing the issue as the key to success. My own goal is not to get laid, but to find the love of my life. I want to reach that as soon as possible, and I've made a lot of progress in the past few years. So far all I've had is a few 'sort of' dates that proved to be non-viable. Yet I really felt like August was destined to be the month I would find my love. It wasn't to be, and that it hurt because I felt so sure. So I'm still waiting, what's the point? Why sooo long?

I've come to realize though, that simply being in a relationship hasn't healed others from their PMO addiction, like not at all. I realize that we're I to meet her today, I would still have this addiction. That blessing would turn into a curse if it were given today, because I would either be betraying her via PMO, or resenting her as the person blocking me from my addiction. Before I meet her, I need to be healed from this. I need to become the man I would want her to have. And I'm still not there yet.

As a Christian, I believe we live in the best of all possible worlds, that everything without fail is done for the good of God and those who love him. And I start to see some reasons why I really should be thankful for this lag time, because this is all time that I actually need to grow, to learn to take those hits, harder and harder and still keep moving forward. By the time we finally do meet, I'll be a much better man, a driven and purposeful man, not controlled by the passions any longer.

Sorry for the long ramble, but in short, I found patience comes from realizing that snail isn't taking a long time per say, but rather it's biding it's time, taking exactly the right amount of time. When I think of it as taking the right amount of time, and focus instead on what I must do to prepare for that time, that's where I find patience.

Hope this helps someone
And as always,
Stay strong brothers!