Leaving NoFap with big heart

Hi All,

I realized i have a problem when my GF tried to give me blowjob and i couldn't ejaculate! It felt really strange that i've seen this in porn and that this should be a man's biggest pleasure yet it didn't please me! I logically related this to over 13 years of self simulation and porn and that my mind only feel good by my own hands. I was worried that my penis is not sensitive anymore but i came to believe that's only because i'm giving it too much focus and attention. I decided to quit masturbation and i did for the last 50 days. It was hard but i don't feel like it anymore. I stayed away from porn and any sexual things and even my GF we stopped playing around. I know i'm still healing and sometimes i think that my morning woods aren't the same or why don't i get erections as much as i did before but i'm trying not to think of it that much.

Anyway i wanted to say that i don't want to replace my addiction for masturbation with addiction for quitting masturbation. I mean i don't want to fill my mind with stories about people who are suffering with same things i think it just making the idea of quitting masturbation bigger and bigger in my brain while i want to tell my brain (We won't masturbate again and it's not a big deal you will heal by time). Point is, as much as i read about people and what they're going thro i feel afraid on myself and think twice about everything i experience. Questions like "What if i couldn't perform in bed like the guy who wrote so? What if i couldn't get erection like this guy? What if what i feel means that i won't be able to ejaculate like that guy?" Those questions started to consume my thinking and making a big deal out of nothing.

I will never masturbate again. I will act normal and as normal as i can be and let healing take it's time. I'm from Egypt and most of us don't usually have sex before marriage and i'm not even engaged so i still have lots and lots of time to heal and maybe years. So i will quit reading about this.

I love you all guys and i wish all of you the best of luck and u gotta do whatever makes u more comfortable. I will let my life go as it should. I will be normal in every way. I will never masturbate ever again. I won't take challenges for specific days i will just stop it once and for all. I won't have the curiosity of testing myself. By the time when it comes to bed performance i will be already forgot anything about self simulation (masturbation) or porn.

Goodbuy NoFap.

 

Thank you mate :l