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Leaving the Hive

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Queenie%Bee, Sep 24, 2018.

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  1. It's really crazy how they can compartmentalize everything so much...enough to keep themselves from seeing the big picture. That addict brain is a sly little f*ck*r and will convince them of anything that keeps the severity at a minimum. They can have 11.5 months straight of heavy addiction-feeding behaviors, and then 2 weeks where they only acted out a few times because they were limited on opportunity....and then say, "This year hasn't been so bad. I'm doing a lot better now. Why can't you see how much I've improved?" :confused: (This actually happened.)
     
  2. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. This is where I’m at . I just don’t know how to end things while still having to share a home . The minimizing of the past actually is infuriating and takes away from ALL the damage HE has done to the relationship, and the work I’ve put in to heal to then get hit over the head with the baseball bat .
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  3. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Rings are off in every sense of the word . Gloves are off too . Stupid stupid man . Appt w attorney this week
     
    RUNDMC likes this.
  4. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    The BIG conversation happened . I cut the cord in every sense of the word . Living together completely separated. Married in name only. I know his work schedule so I literally never have to see him again . The gaslighting, blame shifting continued . He just can’t believe we are here . I said I CAN ! You have a laptop . You can’t keeep your word . I don’t trust you . YOU made it so I CANT . I’ll talk to my boys today . I just always wanted a safe place for them to land later in life . They won’t have that with me . This state is sooooo expensive. I avoided the convo because I didn’t want to FEEL . Didn’t want to face it . I can say for the last 9 weeks , I’ve had no triggers . For me to not care what he’s doing I had to detach and not care about HIM . He’s losing a hell of a lot more than me . I carried US . I’m a good woman and I know the way I love is so very rare . I’m incredibly heartbroken but I was incredibly heartbroken IN it.
     
    KevinesKay likes this.
  5. I'm sorry it's come to this. I know you've tried so hard and been patient for a long time, and this isn't the outcome you wanted. I hope you're able to begin healing soon. Yeah for no triggers...that's a good start. Stay strong. ♡
     
  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Hey Queenie, hope you are taking care of yourself. So many SO’s left feeling alone and broken.
     
    KevinesKay and hope4healing like this.

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