Lessons you’ve learned/are learning?

Great idea, man. I hope this lesson isn't to obvious, but its one I need to keep relearning, especially because I just relapsed after 16 days without PMO...the lesson is, the idea that you'll feel better after satisfying your PMO craving is a LIE.

In no way, shape or form will PMO leave you feeling better after than it did before. If you do it before you go to sleep, the enemy will plague you with shame and condemnation the moment you wake up. I've been struggling through it all morning.

DON'T BELIEVE THE LIE!

 

(From my journal)

My "No-PMO" commitments have crystallized around the following:

• I will not choose to view P in any form. I will never seek it out.
• I will not choose to view a P-sub in any form. I will never seek these out. A P-sub for me is anything that is sexually arousing aside from the physical presence of my wife.
• I will not M or touch myself sexually in any way whatsoever apart from the physical presence of my wife.
• I will not consciously seek out the experience of O apart from the physical presence of my wife.
• I will not entertain any unhelpful thought, especially a lustful or sexual one. The moment I am aware of such a thought, I will run it through the FREEdom process and replace the lie of it with the Truth of my higher power, Jesus Christ. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit
• I will not engage in idle browsing of the Internet of any kind or on any platform. In the past, this practice has never ended well for me.
• I will not engage in any kind of sexual pleasure "hunting" behavior. When my wife and I enjoy this intimacy together, it is a great gift. It is enough, and I do not need anything more or different in order to be completely sexually fulfilled. Anything beyond this is simply my addict brain looking for a thrill and is not okay.
• I will maintain a network of accountability partners (APs) with which I will continue to check in on a daily basis to report how I am doing in this area and to provide mutual encouragement and support to them. (To all those who have served or are currently serving me in this capacity, you have my undying thanks. You will never know how much a role you have played in the transformation of my life.)
• I will continue to make use of software tools to keep me accountable online and to prevent myself from stumbling upon unhelpful imagery on any of my electronic devices. This includes my accountability software of choice, Accountable2You, which is installed on all devices to which I have access.
• I will make myself available to the best of my ability to assist anyone who desires to break free from the plague of PMO. When I enter into an accountability partnership with someone, I will perform my duties as a helpful, encouraging, and engaged partner on a daily basis and with my best effort. Good APs are hard to find, and I will be the best one I know how to be.

 

I am currently documenting the most helpful steps that I took toward freedom in the following thread:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/roadmap-to-freedom.271429/

The 4 most important steps in my journey (so far), were the following
- Confessing to my then-girlfriend (now my wife ), my parents and the elders of my church. This was a radical step, but God had made it clear that this would be neccessary. This was a real game-changer and probably the first time that I would have nofap-streaks longer than a week. Actually I haven't watched porn since then but I was not really consequent about phantasizing, so after a while I started relapsing to unclean youtube videos and movie scenes again.
- Fighting radically. At times, I didn't even have internet in my appartment. Now, I am using all kinds of filters to ensure that I have no chance to watch anything related to porn. Also this applies to my thought-life: Don't allow any remotely impure thoughts. This is still my biggest struggle though.
- Living in a deep relationship with Christ in order to be changed from the inside (John 15).
- Entering an accountability group (in my case, it's on whatsapp) was the second huge game-changer. I am in this group since February and the "streaks" are getting longer and longer, the last one being 52 days. In other words, I feel my brain starting to rewire and the periods in between the relapses getting longer.

I hope this helps God bless!