Lets give this a whirl...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by pursuitofchocolate, Feb 22, 2014.

  1. pursuitofchocolate

    pursuitofchocolate Fapstronaut

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    Hmm on other threads I think I've basically posted the same thing, but just to give some context as to why I'm here. I'm a 24 year old female.

    For the past year or so I've been struggling with this issue. I come from a pretty religious family so sexual topics were basically off limits. My family is very conservative--we don't even date.

    I was in a relationship that was on the down low in college. I didn't even know like...how to M before this relationship. Then my boyfriend moved away. To be connected I'd M just to deal with the distance. And then the relationship didn't work out. Now for the past few months I've been alone and it sucks. And again, conservative family and I'm religious so, I'm not going to be with anyone physically for a while. I'm not blaming my problems on religion--as many people have stated there are countless reasons why we shouldn't fap. I'm just trying to say why I'm having such difficulty with it. As other people have mentioned we release a lot of dopamine when we do it, the feel good mechanism. After my break up I just flooded my brain with this so I wouldn't feel so alone.

    Anyways this does more harm than good since basically you feel very good for a split second and then my emotions come crashing down and I feel disgusted, sad, and even more alone. Even as I'm typing this now I feel so ashamed that I have this problem. I know I'm like...pouring my heart out here, but its comforting to know that other people are dealing with this issue and want to change.

    I really want to not do this ever again. I can't keep going through the cycle of feeling good for two seconds and then feeling AWFUL for a good 3 hours afterwards. I hope that you all can be a source of support for me and I can help you too.

    I really appreciated the links that people have posted and the ted lectures.

    Well, good luck everyone.
     
  2. pls_end_this

    pls_end_this Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community, I hope you find the support and information you are looking for.
    We're all in the same boat, though we each have our own "luggage" so to speak. I wish I could have had the foresight to only packed a carry-on, but I have brought a couple steamer trunks with me. lol
    I had the same intense shame and guilt, but I read a couple articles about addiction and also watched a couple video presentations to learn how powerful acceptance of the situation we find ourselves in can be. I have found acceptance key to moving forward instead of dwelling on my past mistakes so that I can concentrate on building the future I want that better matches my values and beliefs.
    stay strong
     
  3. pursuitofchocolate

    pursuitofchocolate Fapstronaut

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    Oh please do forward the acceptance videos. I would really appreciate it. Hahah I am no where near acceptance right now.
     
  4. pls_end_this

    pls_end_this Fapstronaut

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    This guy does goofy introductions to lighten the mood and then gets down to business with some really insightful, serious and helpful advice. Whenever he says Porn just replace it with masturbating, the techniques are universal. Also, checkout NoFap academy youtube channel which is an extension of this very community if you haven't yet.

    Learning from relapse instead of concentrating on shame, guilt and the impossibility of fighting against urges to escape painful feelings or being in an insurmountable struggle with yourself.

    Guided meditation to process urges with acceptance and love, God's love or whatever notion of the highest good you believe in

    Video on meditation and dealing with internal contradictions(having urges to do something that doesn't align with our beliefs and morals). Instead of rejecting the urge to masturbate for instance you use love to accept it and harmonize with it.

    Another guided meditation similar but slightly different for some variety.

    Video about realizing that your unwanted desires, your internal contradictions, what he calls "gremlins" are actually trying to protect you from pain. Accepting them and dealing with how to flip your urge to masturbate, temptation to watch porn, feeling guilty, being bored... whatever you are struggle with in the moment into helping you become stronger. He is answering a specific question, but the techniques are truly universal.

    This video talks about how to deal with urges by accepting them for what they are and processing them through awareness
     

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