Let's just say I'm a missionary.

Fight the Good Fight

  1. God's Army

    God's Army Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I'm an Elder.
    I'm out on a mission and I've got about 6 months left.
    The entire time I was prepping for a mission I struggled with pmo and I confessed on multiple occasions. I don't know why, or how, maybe I just justified my situation, but I felt that God was okay with me leaving with the problems I had.
    Behead me if you must, but hear me out.
    I left, and honestly, for the first time in my life, in the MTC I had been clean for almost a month... That's the longest I've been clean since I was like 9.
    I'm not seeking repentance here, in fact I'm working on it with my Mission President. My Father is aware and is kind of an accountability partner. But what I am seeking is understanding from other members of the church. I am trying to learn from everyone here. Albeit, I technically shouldn't be using this website. But I also technically shouldn't have access to p. Please don't dox me or anything like that, as really, you'd just make the little bit of light I have right now quite a bit more dim

    I could really use some support.

    I won't get online until after the work day is done, I've just got a sick companion today so I thought I'd be effective and study to fight with the adversary.
    If this is an upsetting situation to any of you, I understand. But I truly think God allowed me to come out here in the way he did, because he knew that this was the only way I could be free from this addiction.

    Thanks for the Read
     
    | Nico | likes this.
  2. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    A man shall not find his honor within his own country. We find ourselves when we leave to a foreign land to which we're unfamiliar. That's why going on a Mission is so nurturing.

    I'm a every day/every other day kind of pmo guy now. And I feel so drained. All I know is what it takes to quit it is dumping things out of your life that cause you to want to do it in the first place. For me, it's the people I know. They make me think of this stuff, of doing PMO. But it's a unique scenario because some of them are very depressed, and have threatened breaking down without me.. so it's like, what do I do?

    Overall, I don't know what to say that'd help your situation. It's just , do what you need to to break the addiction. But the sheer majority of people on nofap never completely cure the addiction, it's always a craving. You can only go without it. They say, fly on the wings of love, and you'll sucedd at breaking your addiction. Then there's the opposite, of learning to hate yourself so you want to make change. But the self-hate is the first step. The second step is admitting it's a problem, then the third is active recovery.
     
  3. God's Army

    God's Army Fapstronaut

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    I really appreciate the advice.

    Honestly I'm not giving up on this until I die, so if I get to the other side, and I haven't been able to make that change, then I hope that mercy is plentiful and that I will be blessed for doing my best.

    I wish you luck
     
  4. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    One thing I learned about perfection, is it isn't about how perfect you are, but rather it's cutting out your sins little by little, trying your best to try to become perfect, repenting when you fall, until you are eventually virtually perfect.
    It's not the lack of black stain on our robes that determine our worthiness, it's how well we cared for our robes regardless, and our effort to genuinely avoid getting stained.
     
  5. Hello Elder. I've thought long and hard about what I could say to you. First of all, good on you for reaching out for support. Many of us here know the challenge you currently have, and some of us may have been exactly where you are. Part of me wants to talk to you as a fellow brother who has struggled with PMO since the age of 10, I am now over 50 years of age. Part of me wants to respond to you as if I were talking to my own son! I admire you for wanting to serve a full-time mission, and wanting to represent our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and His church. I served the Lord on a two-year mission. I was clean, PMO free, for at least 2 years prior to being set apart as a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I remained PMO-free during my whole mission and for at least two years after my mission. I was able to repent and live the law of chastity through sincere repentance and through the grace of the Lord.

    Elder, I know you've come here for support, I get that. However, let me be straight up with you and ask, 'Does your Mission President, your priesthood leader next to the Lord Himself, know that you are frequenting this website and has he given you approval to be here?

    If he hasn't given you approval to use this site, may I suggest, with love in my heart for you, that you log out and go consult with your Mission President about your challenge with being morally clean. I think even you know that you, 'technically shouldn't be using this website.' Return here after your mission, we'll still be here. There are things on this site that an ambassador of the Lord Jesus Christ, called to preach the gospel with clean hands and a pure heart, ought not be exposing him/her self to.

    If, on the other hand, your Mission President has given you approval to use this site I personally would be very surprised but would also respect his authority and jurisdiction to make such a call.

    I don't think you can lump that on anyone here but yourself Elder. The light you have is a direct blessing and reflection of your obedience to God's laws. Your light is not because of something we say or do. Please take the responsibility you have been entrusted with more seriously. I know that our Heavenly Father is all merciful, He is all wise, and He is all loving. I know this to be true. I know that our Savior is ready to cleanse you and fill you with more light as soon as you are ready to receive it. You need your Saviour more than NoFap right now, imo. I say all this with love for you, Elder. I want more than anything for you to return home in the next six months, head held high, hands clean, heart pure and without an ounce of hypocrisy and to be able to stand in front of your Stake Presidency and High Council (and eventually your family) and say, 'I served the Lord with all my heart, might, mind and strength.' I want you to earn and receive the honorable release that is awaiting you as a faithful servant. I know you can do it, Elder!

    Peace and love to you.
    Azzure
     
    Liba689 likes this.
  6. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure if I'd agree, there are definitely dark areas on this site but what he's probably exposed to from people on his mission are probably worse. But then again, his mission president may not be too happy with one of their missionaries reading about the psychological reaction to orgasm, sexual attraction, etc.

    Azzure is right in that your mission president may not approve of you coming here. However, since you did come here on your own discretion, I do still advise to learn as much as you can from this site before you move away from it for a while. Read a few success stories, observe how they were able to do it, and apply those same techniques to your own journey.
    For me, when I had my longest streak. I was in love. But also apart from that, every week I was determined to do something new, something that I'd enjoy. So that weekly experience to look forward to helped me avoid MO by giving me something else to think about.
    If I was to do a new streak, I'd make it every day that I decide to do something great to better myself with. A new goal every day to achieve by the end of it. This cycle of discipline will roll and roll, and eventually I'll grow.
    I think you could probably benefit from the same thing. Every day focus on some key points of the gospel you think might help you become a better missionary, and try to apply that to your work. Every day, think of a new reason why you enjoy being out there, even if you don't enjoy it. And set a goal for yourself every day to reach the gospel out to someone new. Remember, even though a good number of people already believe in Christ, it's your job to help bring them closer to Christ. It has to start with yourself first though, and it's always your own journey to make that happen.
     
    Azzure likes this.
  7. Thanks for your reply. I know there are and will be various opinions and reactions to what @God's Army is doing. However, what are you referring to in the quote I've used above? What's he being exposed to on his mission and by whom? Just curious.
     
  8. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    General slander and verbal abuse in general. I once heard a story of someone pointing to a pair of missionaries, said "hey look the gay couple looks so happy together!" and they and everyone around laughed as the missionaries ran off. Also heard stories of people opening their car doors and knocking missionaries off their bikes unto the road. One of the apostles sons I think once was thrown off someones porch.
    But after I posted that, I started to think and I remember there are various trolls or just downright messed up people who come to this forum. Sometimes you have no idea if the commenter is serious or needs grave help. So maybe there really is stuff on here that OP of this thread shouldn't be exposing himself to at all, because some posts are just evil and twisted stuff from time to time. Amazes me as well, that some people come to NoFap completely cynical of the whole thing altogether, and instead tell people to go ahead and watch certain types of porn, etc. I can see why Alexander Rhodes is filing a lawsuit against the porn industry. Probably verbal slander like this all the time against him.
     
  9. Oh ok, thanks for clarifying that. Yeah there's some pretty awful stuff that happens to some Missionaries. Even death caused by shooting. I remember some offensive stuff being yelled at me, McDonalds cups of soda and ice being hurled out of car windows at me while I'm cycling down the street, and even dogs being set on me as a missionary. Yet amidst all this I had no fear for my life or well-being. I knew I was on the Lord's errand and doing my best to qualify for His protection and spiritual guidance. Perhaps the scariest thing I experienced was a brat missionary who yelled at me because he couldn't handle feedback and took who off out of our apartment on his own into a stormy night and he didn't return for hours. When he came back he looked like a drowned rat haha. Part of me wanted to lock him out, the other part wanted to bring him in and dry him off. Lucky for him there was another set of Elders sharing the apartment with us otherwise he might still be locked out to this day!!!! :D

    @AntiqueRevolverGuy, have you served a full time proselyting mission?
     

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