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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by gogibasket, Aug 21, 2016.
Wow. That's crazy. Hope it improves.
Did I mention anxiety?
And depression, prob caused by anxiety
And flatline, made worse by more anxiety
Also the ‘theme’ subjects that caused me anxiety as a child that I run away from through pmo are now in the present, but they now have current subject matter, and I mostly believe them.....for a while
I have also had increased anxiety issues. Used to have panic attacks. Not there yet but it feels like. The past two weeks the urge to masturbate is off the charts. The porn is non existent due to Covenant Eyes on every device. Went to an ABS last week but walked out as I knew it was totally wrong. Glad there is support on here.
What’s an abs?
Ahh I see
What have been your greatest withdrawal symptoms?
Hey, I don’t know if you’re asking me, or everyone
Also, do you mean greatest as in, opposite of worst?
If so, I’d say relief
Like the same you’d get after a traumatic event
Relief that it is over
Also, which is weird because I’m anxious all the time, a growing sense of calmness, only minor, but I can see what’s ahead, along with people around me saying I seem happier
I don’t feel it
I feel awful a lot, but
Maybe I was a lot worse when I was pmo’ing but was numb to it, and un-aware
are you sure its about withdrawals ?
I think so, I've only had them after relapses. And I've had many, each one after having relapsed. I can tell because I'd have one every month when I was still relapsing. Since hard mode, 11 months now, no hellish colics have plagued me. How's that for a nofap benefit?
After the first 20 days
1. Extremely scared
2. Confused at what was happening to me
4. Occasionally extreme rage
5. a tongue that fails on me randomly.
I went through all of that. You can do this.
Besides the usual depression, loneliness, etc. I've been getting intense, vivid dreams. They seem to all be centered around this girl I fell in love with in my early 20s. While PMO'ing, my dreams weren't intense at all and I'd usually forget them within minutes of waking up. Not a fan of this at all. -_-
Do you ever feel suicidal with all these symptoms? I'm going through all of these. The Depersonalization, feeling everything is dream like. The anxiety and existential crisis became next level.
Meditation is the key.
For all the people experiencing panic attacks, maybe my advice can help. I had extremely difficult time in my life when everything went to shit. My grandfather and grandmother died, my father way diagnosed with worst brain cancer you can get and died a year later watching him suffer like crazy in a meanwhile. My mother had a mental breakdown. Few months later I found out that my partner had been cheating on me and then I lost good job because I exploded in a board meeting sending CEO to hell, lawsuit followed... I started to get really nasty panic attacks at night on daily basis, my blood pressure skyrocketing and heart beating at +200 BPM. First time I called my GP and was rushed into hospital under assumption of heart attack. They did ECG and all kinds of other tests but couldn't find anything wrong. I was given some sedatives that made me sleepy and that was it. My panic attacks at night continued until I literally said it to myself, f... it, I don't care if I live or die anymore, just kill me already, I have nothing to live for anyway. I was literally prepared to die at that moment. It worked like magic. Heart racing stopped soon after being OK with dying. I did this every time my heart started to race and it worked every time. Panic attacks were less and less frequent until they stopped completely.
How wrong I actually was too by coming off my Antipsychotic medication and then ending up in a psyche ward in month 3-4 of nofap.
My current day is 319. Without pmoing! But I had depression for 12 years since this shit started.
I’m now planning a slow taper off my meds without the psychiatric involvement or advice as I’m wanting to get married this summer!
I know depression is unavoidable plus flatline and anxiety social withdrawal isolation but Here are a list of benefits noted by another user of the things to look forward to..
After stopping p*** and masturbation and regular intercourse you will experience the following benefits,
1) Clarity of mind, no mental clutter
2) Better stamina in sports
3) Absence of depression, as in "there's actually nothing wrong with me"
4) Better short term memory, grasp conversations, sharp and clear mind
5) Feeling worthy of hottest girls
6) Interacting with people goes from nuisance to fun activity
7) Facial hair grows faster
Music sounds better
9) Being cool with awkward situations
10) Past events are remembered better
11) Movies watched in one sitting, rather than interrupting it with distractions
12) Feeling of being really alive and feeling of having/being a powerful spirit
13) Better looking skin
14) Free, genuine belly laugh
15) Appreciation and admiration of women's inner and outer beauty
16) Less sleep is needed to feel rested
17) Much less irritability
18) Destructive erections
19) Improved chest, neck and shoulders musculature (without exercise in a particular case)
20) Vibrant and alive looking eyes
21) Voice is now clear
22) Reduced rage and anger
23) Movies, novels and art are appreciated much more
24) Better dream recollection
25) More wisdom on various subjects, without actually studying them. As in mind gets better at making connections.
26) Easier to get up in the morning
27) Like Neo in the Matrix, getting heightened senses and intuition
28) Enjoying company of kids and older folks
29) No more craving for sugar and alcohol
30) Urge to expand your mind
31) No more angry outbursts around the family
32) "Annoying" things females do are now appreciated
33) A tangible magnetic connection with chicks
34) Chores are now easier to perform
35) Seeing "big picture" in life better
36) Ability to look at women and feel her, sense if her energy is good or bad
37) Ability to relate chicks like friends and seeing them flock to you
38) Nothing stresses you out anymore
39) Men respect you more
40) Men flinch in your presence
By the way are you off your meds? If so how did u wean off?
Only benefits so far is that a lot of symptoms died down. Had around 50 severe symptoms and now have around 10 mild symptoms left. It is worth living. The only really good days I had, was where I had some kind of hypomania state. It felt like I was drugged with something dopaminergic. After those 2 manic days the flatline came back full force. The hypomanic days were strange. I could feel the dopamine flow and was charismatic and motivated. Very strange. Never had these kind of days after that one time. Now it's back to numbness.
Yeah I’ve had those hypomania days they’re rare and don’t happen frequently. I had one day earlier in recovery where it felt like I was on MDMA listening to music. I still have no arousal and a little bit of ahedonia and like you minor lingering symptoms and weak erections.