So, lets get things straight. I'm going to use this Forum not only for support and write down my story but we will make a System or something similar. I'm done with just rules and restriction. To invent a System we need to analyse and collect information. Like a group projection but instead of having a team with 3-4 people, we got everyone who reads this and wants to be a part of it. I will collect all information I get from my analysis about my behaviour and habits. I am not asking for help. I can only count on myself but everyone who wants to help me with this is welcome. I dont have your knowledge and It will take time to learn it. its not impossible but you helping me will support this. Even if its just a little it doesn't matter. Unite! One for All All for One
When I fap its most of the time at night, 90% of the time in bed/sofa while looking up porn pics on my smartphone. Beside my porn addiction I waste way to much time at my phone as well. Most of the time on youtube. Most of the time I am at my room. I can lock the door. Which makes it easy for me to masturbate. My windows are covered because of my allergy which makes it even easier to get not seen. Another bad habit is that I sometimes just play with my dick (when I am dressed up) unintentionally a little teasing it doesn't get hard always but when it does I just go on until I "can't" resist and I look up porn. The last days I am noticing when I am teasing my dick a little. I take my hand and lay it down somewhere else like a desk or something. Distraction works way better than constantly thinking "don't think at porn." When I don't even see porn pics, I don't get an urge to look it even up. No porn leads to no porn. Maybe you are thinking "If its that easy why don't you just stop" well I wouldn't write this if it would be that easy right? It's not that I get send pictures but my own actions lead to little mistakes which get bigger and bigger at one point I "can't" resist anymore. This is just the beginning there will be more Information about me but this is what comes in my mind right now what I know about my behaviour and habits.
7-8 Hours..... I used my phone 7-8 hours today and its just 17:32. I installed a game on my phone and I played it for hours and before that I watched youtube... I hate complaining about my behaviour. Okay stop complaining. Why am I on the phone ? Because I lack joy, what are my habits if I lack joy. I start watching youtube videos. Whatelse can I do? Reading a book ? How about Sports ? A Workout would be nice. Creating a story. Well lets go on. In case one of these 3 things doesnt work. What can I do then? Get myself together, try to rap about being passionate (write some lyrics). Okay thats something I can work with. What should be my phone usage limit? 2-3 hours... 3 Hours but talking with my gf doesn't count.
Okay but what about sleeping? Well when I am bored in my bed what else can I do then ? Easy when in Bed no phone. My bed is only for sleeping my sofa is for chilling my desk is for work. Keep it strict and let see how we roll. What about eating habits ? I eat too much too late. So lets say at 20 o'clock I must be done eating.
Wow.... phone usage just 8 hours today... I don't want to say that I am dissapointed but I am.... What the heck is wrong with me? But what I anger without a outlet... useless or even self-harming... Stop! Stop analyzing shit. Its time to act, damn. Listen... there will always be the one thing that is fun to do, always the next song to discover, always a message to read, always a funny video to watch... but you know what there is just one moment and one chance to change things and that moment won't come back. So listen up, Hero.... how about you stop thinking about how and when you will start with level one, and just begin. Level 1: Take responsibility
