Letters to Cake; she's in a crisis

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Nov 11, 2018.

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  1. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Men of nofap: your wife & your girlfriend know. They just might not know exactly what it is that isn't quite right.

    Don't worry, though. They'll find out sooner or later & when they do, you are in for some shit, my friends.

    It'd be wise to just tell them.
    If you're not telling them because you 'don't think they have enough support/can't handle it', that's controlling & not your decision to make. The woman in your life is probably quite capable of deciding how much she can handle.

    Trust her & start being honest.

    *so mean, I apologize; so true, apology semi-redacted*

     
  2. My wife has complained to me a few times telling me sarcastically thanks for waiting till she is dealing with pre-menopause to add this stress to her.
    I tell her I felt that I had to be honest about who I am and what I’m dealing with. It had to be done.
    She tells me she wishes I hadn’t told her, but I’m not convinced she means it.
    I definitely should have told her sooner and this probably wouldn’t have taken so long to beat.
    I was 3 1/2 years free of M and 1 year free of P before I told her.

    I don’t know if she will ever be able to move forward or if she even wants to.
    But I guarantee that we couldn’t move forward without the secrets and lies being exposed.
     
  3. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    This.
     
  4. Susannah

    Susannah Fapstronaut

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    Please don't even semi-retract. Nothing mean here.
    Thank you for this. This is the source of so much of my anger. My husband willfully, gleefully ignored this obvious truth (despite having two daughters of his own) just to get off. He has spent so much time and effort in his public life campaigning for human rights, racial justice, even gender equity, yet he could not look past his own selfish desires to understand this or even feel ashamed about doing it.
     
  5. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    I read this last night as I was starting a long walk, so it inspired a Smashing Pumpkins playlist while I was walking. Thanks!
    It had been many years since I listened to this one, which was always a lesser-known fav.
     
  6. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Great minds think alike ;)
    Thank you!
     
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  7. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    The venomous side of human personality is a dark place. When sadism is thrown in the mix, the human personality becomes pitch black.

    Before today, sadism never entered your realm of possibilities. Maybe because you associated it with physical pain & not emotional pain. You also never realized narcissism is divided into catagories; classic narcissist (typical; what you think when you hear "narcissist"), vulnerable narcissist (appear to love attention, but in reality, hates it), & the most extreme, malignant narcissist (“the quintessence of evil”).

    Unfortunately, you chose door #3 & it has a name; narcissistic sadism.

    Narcissism drove the control issues, manipulation, deceit, bragging of accomplishments, entitlement, & much more wretched behavior you despised. You knew why those things were present; because narc.

    What's been on your mind & chronicled in your journal, is the desperation to understand how/why a person not only feels zero remorse, but seems to actually enjoy causing both sexual & emotional pain. How can a human show no empathy to the mother of their children after they've annihilated their life by sexual deviency & grade-A asshole behaviors. The vindictiveness, inability to communicate if your opinion was different than his, & the very present desire to fuck your world up makes sense, now; because sadist.

    This one is going to take a little bit to digest.

     
  8. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Nostalgia is all I have for today, kids...

    Still trying to reason with my massive oversight in life. Kind of kicking myself in the ass for being too naive/nice/giving. It's so unfortunate good traits get taken advantage of by those who are lost in life. I'm beginning to think you can't live a truly happy life anymore in this world if you possess a pure soul.

     
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  9. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    I disagree but I can understand your feelings of despair.

    Cool song btw.
     
  10. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    You know deep down I disagree, too.
    The feels get the best of me, sometimes..

    Thx, music man
     
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  11. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    SuperCake is learning to fly...

     
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  12. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I feel so weak sometimes, like my strength is just an illusion & I'm really a giant failure.

    I needed this so much.

    Thank you, immensely
     
  13. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    Before I read this post, I recalled listening to the below number how you write in a third person about your process.

    Seemed like
    emotional potholders
    For hard feelings.

    I like how Harrison uses crying
    as a joyful sound,
    not letting it get him down.

    I wonder what was the impetus
    behind his Album
    ‘“all things must pass’?



    :)
     
  14. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    His break-up with the Beatles;

    Realization that nothing lasts forever. Everything ends, or passes.

    Transcendence

    The soul is the only constant that is eternal.
     
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  15. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut


    Doink.
    Of course.
    Well said.

    Yeah, that.
     
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  16. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Message received, Trap.

    I'll let my self-transcendence resume.

    Pity party is coming to a close.

    Thank you.
     
  17. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    Your first real fight in this war begins tomorrow morning. In a room will be your husband, his attorney, you, & yours, facing off. You will be hit with insincere questions regarding your sex life & everything you've accused him of....they'll question your state of mind, ability to parent, and anything else they can try & use as scare tactics.
    This will go on for hours. 3 men & you; questions of fetishes, hidden cameras, body parts.. abuse, ranging from sexual to psychological.

    If there's anything that is going to test your strength, it will be tomorrow.

    Fuck this hell I didn't sign up for.

    I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown
    Catch me, heal me, lift me back up to the sun
    I choose to live, I choose to live


     
  18. HonestyMatters

    HonestyMatters Fapstronaut

    Best of luck tomorrow!!

    Stay strong and know you have the support of everyone here xx
     
  19. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    A smile before bed & a smile when I think of this tomorrow.
    You all have saved me; each of you knowing exactly what to say & when to say it. I would not be where I'm at without this place.

    ❤ thank you
     
  20. Susannah

    Susannah Fapstronaut

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    Fuck it, indeed. I'm so sorry. I don't know you, wouldn't recognize you on the street, but will be thinking about you tomorrow and will stand up a little taller in solidarity.
     
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