Letters to Cake; she's in a crisis

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Nov 11, 2018.

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  1. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I have plenty of people to hug...it's different coming from the one person that knows your deepest being.
    But, I suppose I never really had that person.
  2. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    Very different. I agree.
  3. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake & her people,

    Holiday season seems to bring every happy family out of their happy little homes to spread happy cheer to other happy people.
    Together. As a unit.
    Seriously, the happy families seem to appear out of nowhere as soon as Tom the Turkey is mentioned.

    Watch those same happy families on black friday.

    Perception is everything...
    Happiness is internal.

    I know tomorrow is my last Thanksgiving with my mom; the last my children will have with her. I'm content, fortunate, & thankful for this opportunity. Some people don't get closure.

    Think twice about getting angry at uncle Jim Bob's burnt Turkey, your partner, family, strangers....be happy you have them.

    Give thanks.

    Thank you, kind people, for helping me in my journey; may your football teams win & you truly appreciate what you have :)
    letter, Vixen, Trappist and 5 others like this.
  4. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Who celebrates black Friday?
    Not me.
    Let's stay inside and decorate the tree.
    Officially Christmas AFTER Thanksgiving!!
  5. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    You're my kinda girl ;)
  6. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    You made it. You held it together for your mother & kids. Sure, there were copious amounts of sobbing in private, but you smiled when they were around. It wasn't faked. It was pure; it was genuine; it was full of strength & self-discovery.

    You promised the kids you would get the Christmas stuff out of the garage & start decorating tomorrow. You followed through & really felt, for the 1st time, like a single mother.
    Now your garage looks like a Tetris game & you are going to wake up with random bruises from moving shit to find baby Jesus & the tree.

    You will spend the rest of tonight alone, music in ears, putting a freaking Christmas tree together, because your babies deserve that joy when they wake up in the morning. They have been your rock(s).

    Tomorrow is a new day.
    letter, Vixen, Trappist and 2 others like this.
  7. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    Some people find ways to work themselves out of the hardships in life by justifying their behavior. They get so disillusional, they really start believing what they say.

    The problem with porn/sex addiction, is how do you differentiate a man that watched so much porn he had to esculate into illegal/immoral territory from a man who has a legit psychosexual disorder? At what point does it go from a simple porn addiction to actively doing illegal things? Did the disorder come first, or did the addiction cause it?

    The questions are building; revelations; you are being redeemed, finally.
  8. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Wake up son o' mine
    Momma got somethin' to tell you

    Changes come
    Life will have it's way
    With your pride, son
    Take it like a man

    Hang on son o' mine
    A storm is blowin' up your horizon

    Changes come
    Keep your dignity
    Take the high road
    Take it like a man

    Listen up son o' mine
    Momma got something to tell you
    All about growin' pains
    Life will pound away

    Where the light don't shine, son
    Take it like a man
    Suck it up son o' mine
    Thunder blowin' up your horizon

    Changes come (changes come)
    Keep your dignity (keep your dignity)
    Take the high road (take the high road)
    Take it like a man (take it like a man)

    Momma said like the rain(this too shall pass)
    Like a kidney stone(this too shall pass)
    It's just a broken heart, son
    This pain will pass away
  9. Something to really ponder upon.. Well when normal stuff doesn't give that kind of high, most addicts here escalate to hardcore stuff to get the same kind of high.. It's like developing tolerance to a drug, alcohol, smoking etc.. Do read about porn addiction in "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson.. He explains that any addiction, be it alcohol, smoking, drugs, gambling, porn, sex, social media, gaming , even junk food works on reward system which has dopamine as it's neurotransmitter.. Remember Disillusioned by APC?? Yeah they're pretty much talking about this only.. When high amount of dopamine is released, it causes downregulation ( closure ) of several dopamine receptors.. So next time, to feel the same high, more & more stimulation is needed..

    You write beautifully !! I thought you were writing it for me, it really touched my heart, thank you :)
  10. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Maynard wrote it for both of us :)
  11. Ah right, I haven't heard any of his Puscifer stuff except "The humbling River" & a triggering song named "Rev 22:20"
    Max Fisher likes this.
  12. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, you have to be careful with Puscifer...its what Maynard says is "the space where my Id, Ego, and Anima all come together to exchange cookie recipes."
    His person in Puscifer is a man escaping through various immoral things & reflecting on poor decisions.
  13. Ah thanks for the enlightenment about it.. I'll have to be more careful..

    Btw did you read fully read my comment on dopamine ^^ ?

    Sorry, I'm out of likes.. :/
    Max Fisher likes this.
  14. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    Other than being a giant X on this forum to remind those addicted not to eff recovery up in a relationship, you really have no purpose here anymore.

    Your story will be at a standstill for a while, as far as life married to an addict.
    You have come to the conclusion, that you are in no place to help those struggling with addiction in relationships. They'll either figure it out, or not.

    Take a break, girl. Take a break.
  15. Okay take as much break as you want !! Thanks for being there :) Hope everything will be better for you.. May God bless you & your family.. Yeah we'll figure it out or not.. No need to worry about us.. I'm sorry if I've burdened you more.. Your family needs you & your own healing is important :) Stay strong & kick ass!! It was nice to know you, goodbye..
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2018
  16. I'm one of those that have been reading the SO section regularly to remind myself why I'm quitting. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm sorry it's gone south like it has. I wish the best for you and your twins. Your husband doesn't realize what a huge mistake he's been making (and continues to make). Perhaps your purpose here is done for now but I know you'll be accomplishing great things as you move on in life. Thanks again for taking the time to share with us and remind us of the pain we bring to others when we get caught up in such a selfish lifestyle.
  17. Come back on any time.
  18. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Dear Cake,

    7 years ago today.
    You prepared to say your vows before God, family, friends, & spirits. You drifted in and out of sleep, finding comfort in the fact that your soul was about to become intertwined with someone who you truly thought loved you. You didn't realize 7 years ago, that some people have distorted views of love at no fault of their own.

    Your wedding dress, hanging in the closet. You imagined how breathtaking you would look the next day.

    You were about to marry your true love.

    How devastating it's turned out as it has. Tomorrow, you will not answer the obligatory 'Happy Anniversary' calls/texts from oblivious family/friends. You will not open any cards addressed to you both as a married couple; you know their contents would bring you to your knees.

    Most noted, tomorrow's date will forever remind you that you loved unconditionally. You loved with everything in you. You meant & believed in your vows.

    Devastating. The addiction won & you feel worthless.
    However, you wouldn't change a thing. Only those in your shoes would understand.

    To the people in relationships:
    Don't do it, you guys. Do not become your own worst enemy. Work hard to repair. Put selfishness aside. Be grateful for the person standing beside you. You will destroy a human & their idea of love for eternity if you don't.
  19. Atomicflea

    Atomicflea Fapstronaut

    I feel for you. I truly do. My DDay 2 & 3 happened just a couple of days before my 1st anniversary. I was devastated. I didn’t answer back to anyone’s congratulations, I rejected the gift my husband gave me and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. I didn’t expect my 1st anniversary to be so shit. I was filled with such overwhelming negative emotions. Hang in there girl. Sending you big hugs from Scotland!
  20. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    Hope you find peace today
    with the sincerity of your commitment.

    Prayers that you steer
    your part of your family
    Into calm safe waters.
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