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Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by 0111zerozero11, Nov 11, 2018.
Thinking about you my lady! How ya holding up?
It's a journey, my friend. Good days & bad...more good than bad as of late, & I'm relishing in them
Thx for asking, ghost
6. The Law of Conscientious Action
Simple; it's the golden rule you learned in kindergarten.
Do to others, as you would have done to you.
"Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers, between supposed brothers."
Oh, Cake. What another weird day. You stopped to get yourself a drink this morning on the way to drop kids off at school. When you held out the money to pay, the worker said "no charge" & smiled. The words "are you serious" stumbled out of your mouth before you could gather your senses & I'm sure your face had genuine shock written all over it. She smiled again & told you to have a good day.
You made it maybe 10ft & started sobbing, the kids staring in bewilderment. You didn't hide your tears. You let them witness what kindness can do to a person. You explained that they were tears of joy; you were thankful and happy that kind people like that lady existed.
Who knows if they understood the message, but their mother sure did.
Amazing what simple kindness can do for the soul!
It was a beautiful experience to have at this point in my life....
Surprise kindness is the best kindness
Super stoked to start this; mostly for my kids to really know their mother.
Their mother, as she's in the depths of rediscovering herself after betrayal.
It's the blueprint to my bestselling novel.
7. Law of Gender
There are elements of masculinity & femininity in each of us; in our mind body and soul. In nature. All around us. The universe itself has masculine & feminine sides. What makes it evolve, is having a balance between the two.
Too much alpha makes for a narcissistic power hungry human that is nothing but a scared little child on the inside. Selfish.
Too much beta & you get the opposite of narcissism.
Find the balance.
"The half-wise, recognizing the comparative unreality of the Universe, imagine that they may defy its Laws – such are vain and presumptions fools, and they are broken against the rocks and torn asunder by the elements by reason of their folly. The truly wise, knowing the nature of the Universe, use Law against laws; the higher against the lower; and by the Art of Alchemy transmute that which is undesirable into that which is worthy, and thus triumph. Mastery consists not in abnormal dreams, visions and fantastic imaginings or living, but in using the higher forces against the lower – escaping pains of the lower planes by vibrating on the higher. Transmutation, not presumptuous denial, is the weapon of the Master.”
Reflecting on the 7 laws tonight via my main man, Maynard.
Separate the body from the mind
I love the Fibonacci sequence I feel is underrated and underappreciated
Keep spiraling outwards
Underappreciated & fascinating.
While kids were napping, you spent that money wisely. Invested in yours & the kids futures. Turning a hobby into a legit profession that will give the gift of memories to other happy humans & things...
Paying it forward while getting paid.
To do what you love.
When you let the universe lead, opportunities come knocking at your door. You are living proof.
These opportunities won't fill the emptiness from betrayal, but they will distract you. One day they'll distract you enough that you won't even think about the current situation(s) you find yourself in. The lonliness & utter confusion will be replaced by success.
This isn't easy...The emotions and revelations you experience are debilitating at times.
And then you remember, that you are the captain of your ship & you carry on, fully trusting God & his plan for you.
Cheers to doors opening that will certainly lead to success; the kids will be proud & you will be, too.
Good for you! Photos I assume?
Cards are falling into place, my friend
Fibonacci sequence in Sunflowers.
Part of “The Smart Happy Project”.
Whatever that is,
it sounds like a good goal.
I come from the land of sunflowers. I'd pass them on the way to & from school and note how they truly do follow the sun, through all 4 seasons.
On cloudy days, they still stood at attention. Soldiers of the sun.
Thx for sharing; going to ask google about the smart happy project
It apparently is a very cool site for educating kids
on numbers in nature, natural history, art, thought, etc.
Doesn't look too glossy and appears practical.
Whenever I see fields of Sunflowers,
They are strong and rustic.
I give them to my SO
The Fibonacci sequences may be a thing
to help see more choices.
The 12 steps,
the third step
takes the limit to Infinity.
I will Chromecast for the kiddos tomorrow; thank you...should keep them entertained for a bit so mom can work
I have a tiny field by my house that my husband used to stop at before he would get home from work. Surprise sunflowers make everything better
Even in the end, it's never really over. Constantly changing & recreating.
High-five on not letting that creepy fuck get under your skin. Creeps will be creepin.
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists
You were Dorothy & he was the Wizard; irl.
You find yourself wondering lately if men have a 6th sense of knowing when a woman has just been heartbroken, or if in reality, you are beginning to notice other people notice you because the energy you've been putting out.
As much as you're learning and growing as a person, something has been hindering your full potential.
Respect, right? You're the mother of his children & was a fiercely loyal companion for a decade. You know you deserve explanations, answers, apologies, but you'll never get them.
Closure will happen when you're able to accept the answers you have and move on, even though you know you're worth more than the experience you've endured.
Closure will be forgiving things you don't know about or have honest answers about.
Just when you think you have it all figured out, another tall mountain appears.
Guess I'm going to start climbing it, because I am so over this hurt.
Worst day evahhhhh.
A little dramatic, but it's flippin' cold outside, kids are getting cabin fever, and mom is running out of fuel. Toddler twins 1 Mom 0.
They have also discovered that saying "dad" causes a change in my demeanor. I'm cognizant of this change and haven't quite figured out how to not let it take my breath away. They sense this and just so happen to be in that 'let's see how far we can push things' phase; disaster.
Because of it being an extra shitty day due to sex addiction and feels, tonight's journal is for all you dad's/husband's out there. Gonna be a tough pill to swallow, but it's reality.
Dear Dad's and Husband's of nofap (future one's, too),
The heart is 'the central or innermost part of something'.
This central & innermost part of something is where your strength and character come together and form the heart of your soul.
Your strength will be present via your character.
I see too many of you men on here equating strength with physical capabilities, your successes, & one-upping each other as some sort of no PMO badge of honor. Unfortunately, this way of thinking comes through in your character. Those closest to you take notice and equate it to selfishness.
Your wife gets pissed, isolated, resentful. You think you're becoming this "better man" and all she sees is you just not really getting it. This is the point she starts retreating because you have the wrong idea of strength.
Strength of character is having the courage to do the right thing even in really shitty situations. Being strong is not hiding from your mistakes, or becoming passive when confronted.
You are genuine in your emotions, not trying to hide the shame/guilt/fear. There is no hypocrisy; a God fearing, doting father and husband does not excuse selfishness and blame.
When you are not strong in mind and spirit your character just falls apart and disintegrates. This is why so many of you still find yourselves in pity after a relapse, blaming your wife, and obsessively checking nofap to see if your bro failed so you can feel a tad better about yourself.
I live daily with the aftermath of a man who was seriously confused about strength and character. My kids live daily with the aftermath.
My kids, who are so impressionable right now, have no idea what true affection between a mother and father look like, and that brings me to my knees in guilt when I think of it. I then have to summon the energy to remind myself that it wasn't my fault, for the millionth time, which sometimes makes me even more resentful.
I told someone last night that being in a marriage with a sex addict is equated to being alone in the middle of the sea, during a storm, all by yourself. You can see boats in the distance, but they can't hear you. Every move you make, you think a shark will bite you. Torture, men...pure torture.
Your children know way more than you think. Teach them to have strong characters so your sons never find themselves in your positions and your daughters never find themselves in mine.
Teach yourselves what a strong character means.
It's not gym, tan, laundry. It's not going to church on Sunday and then lying to your wife about your relapse 2 days later. It's definitely not ghosting your kids for your own wants/desires.
All it takes is being humble, kind, and accepting of your failures.
that's the secret
That was therapeutic.