Letting Go Of Fetish-Based Relationships

This just hit me this morning.

Every relationship I've ever had has been based on my fetish.

I'm talking about seeking a woman who meets my fetish first, personality second.

This since my teens, I see. And I fapped all through them on the side. Looking at girls on the web. I love girls, you see. I'm a musician.

My marriage broke up for a lot of reasons, but a big one was that I met another woman who met that fetish better than my wife could and pursued me on Facebook. I resisted as long as I could, politely turning down offers of "a drink." But then I caved, and I fell hard for her. This was at the end of my marriage, which I wanted to get out of for at least three years before I actually left.

It was a disaster in many ways with many tender moments and adventures in between with the woman I left my wife for, and I'm still recovering, including moving 1,800 miles away to put distance between us.

Still, we hung on for 7 years. Mostly because she would keep texting me photos of herself in skimpy clothing, or a bikini.

It finally ended a month ago when she said the apartment upstairs was again available for rent, and did I want it?

I actually thought about it seriously "Yeah, I'll move into that apartment where I had to call the cops on her - TWICE."

Then, during a phone conversation about it, she mentioned my dick and the way it's shaped.

I knew it wouldn't work, and I turned down the apartment, and she got angry and that was that.

She still has my Fender Twin Reverb amp. I'll get that next time I'm in NY. Maybe bring a friend.

Geez, this thing is way deeper than "I am addicted to looking at pics and videos of women on the net, and jerking off 2-3 times a day to the point where I've got no dick for whatever partner I meet."

Thanks for listening.

 

Thank you. I wish someone from my my family - or ANYONE - had said something like this early on. KEEP BACK 500 FEET.

Put it this way - when I went to visit her last summer, she casually mentioned: "I got into a fight a week ago at a bar. I punched this girl in the face."

Further -

Every relationship she's ever had has ended with the cops being called, or things smashed in the house.

I had to call them on her once, for breaking and entering. There are at least two venues she is not allowed to enter anymore in her town.

If I posted a photo - or 10 - you would say "Oh, my God, she looks like a movie star." Which she does. (She isn't.) The moment she leaves her house, both men and women pursue her. There are frequent anonymous flowers left at her door. She has had to take out more than one restaining order.

But - shitshow over.

And now onto something else.