Letting Go of Shame

I hope this thread can serve you all in releasing your shame and be an inspiration to start living the life you really want.


I've been doing a good amount of self reflection and ruminating this week. My thoughts became so negative I began thinking I might actually be retarded or somehow mentally broken. Then began to follow these feeling down to the source and it lead me to the feeling of shame.
The deep sense of shame I was feeling is related to several things like my sexual inexperience and past of visiting hookers to cover up this. I'm able to get dates and hold the interest of women but somewhere along the way I completely screw things up! Tracing back even deeper, I'm lead to a time in my childhood where I felt betrayed by a girl. This "betrayal" resulted in me and my mother being kicked out of a shelter and on to the streets. I see this incident as the reason why have difficulty opening up honestly to women I'm interested in. Something that happened about 20 years ago! I've considered therapy but I read so many free articles online and books that I don't think it would do much better than talking to a friend.
Then I remembered David Hawkins map of consciousness which is posted above. Shame is the lowest and most hellish emotion a person can feel. I realized I've been caring this shame for so many years and that it's finally time to accept my past and work on being better today. I do want to find someone to love and call my own but this deep shame has been blocking any of that from growing. I'm nearing 30 and it's time to be fully accountable for my life and the way it is. I can't blame anyone but myself for my current circumstances.