Liberation from PMO is Liberation from Suffering

Whilst in a meditative process of scanning my mental and emotional environments with the intent to purge, detoxify and wash my spirit of all the chaotic, conflict-producing energy, I discovered quite abruptly in a spontaneous slap-in-the-face-with-a-wet-kipper type of insight that watching pornography, masturbating, and ejaculating are number 1, 2 and 3 on my hit list of tactical avoidance manoeuvres of emotional pain.

For over 10 years, my mind has been sculpting a groove of PMO that temporarily allays and masks the underlying suffering that accompanies the belief in being a separate, limited, unworthy, disapproved, unlovable entity. This mindset of exclusive identification with a fragment of the whole cosmos has been revealed in me as the root cause of all psychological suffering, and now, it is becoming more and more clear in my experience what activities are in service to the maintenance of this delusive ruse. PMO is evidently a shrouding mechanism that keeps the state of suffering at bay, cloaking it in a cushion of sensual pleasure and gratification.

But what I have noticed while gradually uncovering this habit of avoiding suffering is that in the instant of orgasm and throughout some pornography scenes, the sensation of pleasure is so intense that the sense of separation, the conceptual division between 'me' and 'not-me' dissolves to unveil the experience of oneness, of being seamlessly intimate with the totality of existence. In the instant of sensual ecstasy, the mind is not present, and so all the compartmentalisations that it would normally conjure to superimpose on our experience are nowhere to be found. All that remains is pure, raw, naked, indivisible Presence, knowing itself as itself.

As there are no distinctions between 'things' because no such 'things' are being defined, there are no limitations in our experience. We know our self intuitively as an infinite Presence, that is, we know our self without the apparent interjection of the mind.

The infinite does not know itself as infinite, for infinity is yet another concept with limited references, another definition of thought that only has any relevance when compared with something that is deemed to be finite. Infinity is not subject to the finite symbols that we use to try and describe it. Infinity literally means that which is beyond definition, transcendental to anything with objective qualities, that is, transcendental to all thought. So when the mind is absent, for instance, in orgasm, we experience our self as infinite. That is why we all love sex so much!

This may read like an anti-nofap advertisement or a way of encouraging masturbation to continue exploding in our scene, but I assure you the intent of my conveyance is far more pleasing to understand than whistling with our willies.

The good news is that this experience of being infinite, absolutely complete, fulfilled and free is available throughout all time. The infinite cannot hide. It is the presence in which every 'where', every location can be known. It only appears to be veiled from our view due our exclusive fascination with searching the objective realm for it, for what is really, in essence, the experience of happiness. Most humans are trying to be happy. Whether they consciously affirm it or not, they are doing what they are doing because they believe on some level that what they are doing will produce some semblance of happiness. And PMO is just another way that this urge for happiness manifests.

But the joke is that every attempt we make to acquire happiness we are compelled to overlook it, because we are employing the mind to find it. Happiness is the absence of the mind, not a complete eradication of the mind, but it is the presence from which the mind emanates. Happiness is the presence we are watching the mind from. That which is watching the mind is not the mind and is therefore not limited to any of the qualities that it exhibits, which essentially translates to; that which is watching the mind is unlimited. And that one, that Presence which is watching the mind is you.

Are you aware of all thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions?

What would these things be without you, present and aware, to render them an experience?

You are that which allows the mind to come into apparent existence, just as space is the medium that allows for the manifestation of objects. Relatively speaking, space is not an object, and as such it is not limited by the qualities of objects. Absolutely speaking, you are not anything that constitutes the mind, you are not any thought, feeling, sensation or perception, for you watch them appear, and as such, you are not limited by the qualities of them. What appears in Awareness, cannot be essential to you, for you are here before it appears. Just consider this for a moment. You cannot essentially be any thought, feeling, sensation or perception because they all appear, transform and disappear within your unchanging, ever-presence.

This direct experiential understanding of our innate transcendence of all fleeting appearances, of all thoughts and things is true abidance in happiness, and from this understanding the urge to seek happiness will gradually, naturally and effortlessly diminish until all activities that were ignited from the fire of lack, of identifying with psychological suffering and pain, will be extinguished.

In my own case, my mind was always longing for this dissolution of its own tension, whether that comes in the form of PMO, a romantic relationship, an object, a situation, an edible substance, drugs, or whatever. It was seeking for happiness, for what I essentially am. I am happiness, we are all happiness. Whether we acknowledge this truth or not, we are all happiness temporarily pretending we are not from time to time.

This pretence of being unhappy is only due to our belief in being located within the mind or the body, within a conceptual definition or limited identity. If we only understand that the mind and the body are not what we essentially are, that we are much greater, infinitely greater than anything we can imagine, then this urge to PMO can vacate our experience, not because of force, discipline or determination but simply through a recognition that we already have what the activity was attempting to produce for us.

Why would we masturbate if we already experience the feeling of fulfilment that supposedly resides just over the crest of the ejaculation wave?

We wouldn't.

And thus far, this realisation has facilitated a progressively stabilising disinterest in PMO for the past 23 days. Of course, the desirous movements arise from time to time due to the momentum of habit but each time they are met with this experiential understanding, they are watched from a Presence of absolute fulfilment and so they have no fuel to proliferate and germinate in my actions. They just float by like clouds in the sky.

But who knows what is around the bend?

I can't predict what this body and mind will do in an hour, a day, a week. All I know is that I am already fulfilled. And this knowing will express itself in whichever ever way exemplifies it.

Peace and love brothers and sisters