for almost my entire nopmo journey (from when the first stage of extreme urges stopped) I have had an either fully dead sex drive or extremely low one. This has been worrying me as though I had been seeing healing in other areas such as XXX images being pruned from my mind recently, and that I get nocturnal erections every night (with morning being around 5 to 6 times a week) since day ~70. I still have not seen any improvement in my mid day erections and libido. I have had almost no desire for sex at all for the past 2-3 months and have only gotten 3 spontaneous mid day erections this entire time. Is something wrong with me or does it take longer for the sex drive to heal (been on pmo since puberty, I should also note that since qurantine I have had little contact with people other than my family, which may play a part into me not rewiring)
Libido the last to heal?
- Thread starter hervesta
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RiverBlue
Fapstronaut
I'm not sure you haven't improved but don't know it. Unlike your nocturnal/morning wood, which is basically pneumatic and has nothing to do with arousal, getting a boner in the middle of the day requires some sort of arousal. You mention having pmo's since puberty, so I'm thinking this may be a new situation for you. But once out of our teens, the spontaneous daytime boner becomes less common. Rather arousal comes from some external source -- porn, fantasy or a real person. You've dropped the first, are not having much of the second, and because of lockdown aren't getting much exposure to the third. You may be ready, but just not know it. In any case, I wouldn't sweat it much unless or until you find yourself with someone attractive and then have no reaction.
according to many urologists, spontaneous erections mid day don't start to stop until the 30's.... I'm not even 20 yet
TheForsakeen
Fapstronaut
the one thing i know for sure is that hope is the last to die
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.Dont worry man, im in the same boat as you, have not had any urges for ANY fucking women. You just gotta hold out, im guessing your young? Us young guys got really fucked cause we grew up on porn and pixelations instead of real women. try to date women and start hooking up with them and connect your mind to that instead of porn and shit like that. Im 108 days in and it seems to be working, I use to go from only getting erect from false thoughts and kinks but those kinks are slowly disappearing and just the thought of normal sex gets me going. i still have a lot of work to do but years of porn addiction / damage is not an easy fix.
how long did it take for it to come back?
OhWhenThe
Fapstronaut
55-60 days, though I did do a 20 day streak right before that so you could say 75-80.
I woke up one morning and libido was at like 20%, the next day 40% and so on. By the end of the week my libido was through the roof ... which eventually led to me relapsing
damn I wish my libido was like that, looking forward to the day I get back to that, how old are you btw?55-60 days, though I did do a 20 day streak right before that so you could say 75-80.
I woke up one morning and libido was at like 20%, the next day 40% and so on. By the end of the week my libido was through the roof ... which eventually led to me relapsing
OhWhenThe
Fapstronaut
I'm 30, was 29 the time of that reboot.
And yes, my wish all the way through was to feel like that again but look what happened when I got there. I know you're probably thinking that there's no way you'll relapse when it comes back but when you've had dead libido for so long and it suddenly all comes flooding back it's pretty overwhelming, it's like going through puberty all over again so just be prepared for when that day comes.
yeah, been in a dead flatline for like 100 days now, I have some sort of libido in the mornings, or it could just be morning wood and not libido, honestly i forgot what its like to have libido anymore. Goodluck man and thanks for the info
I think age matters when it come to libido too. 30's is sexual peak for us men. I could literally watch p and my thing still pulling even in the reboot. It seems our brain is affected by p the most when we were young. Not to say to return pmo though... Maybe our brain is done developing as we past 25....
OhWhenThe
Fapstronaut
Yeah I didn't start watching porn until I was about 17, I probably saw the odd bit here and there before then but very little(once I did get it though it basically became like a full-time job). From 15-17 I was MO'ing to my imagination, which I still don't think is particularly healthy - especially in the volume I was doing it but still it's not as bad as PMO. That's why my libido recovered "quicker" I guess but nowadays you have 12 year olds who have seen every fucked up genre of porn going so they're generally going to take longer.
One interesting thing to note though is that when my libido came back I was so freaking horny all week to the point where I was basically a walking erection but when I finally did cave and look at porn, within about 10 seconds I actually felt LESS horny than I did beforehand. I know that sounds really weird and I still don't totally understand the mechanics behind that but it was a clear drop and I hadn't even touched myself yet. I still went through with it however and that then led to a binge ... which then brought me back to square one again, only I feel worse now.
I think my libido can recover again but tbh I'm more hoping to recover the joy and motivation for life I once had rather than having sex and girls on my mind all the time.
Yeah I was watching P since around 13-14. I really hope my libido comes back to normal when I hit 6 months otherwise I'm gonna have a mental breakdown