It’s a strange paradox when you have been alone/single for years and reach an age where having a female companion seems unnecessary. When I was younger, my sexual desire was great and eventually problematic. Now that I don’t need my sexual needs satisfied quite as much (or at all atm), I think I would make a better partner. Not being able to manage my desires caused me problems and eventually my addiction to pmo. All water under the bridge, so to speak and nothing to feel guilty about or blame myself for, but I wish I could apologize to the women I just wanted to love, appreciate, and show care and kindness towards. Even now I realize my attraction towards a female that I find desirable isn’t something that I want to pursue. Partly because I am afraid of rejection, and that it’s just a selfish attempt to feel better about myself. It’s natural to have a need to feel loved, (especially for those who have been abandoned), but I don’t think I want to make my problem someone else’s too. I don’t know what I have to offer, but I do wish I could share my feelings of love with another. Dreaming, and praying for all of us to feel loved in some way today. I love you guys, NoFap, and humanity too much to give up hope.