Life alone, Love alone

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Buddhabro2.0, Nov 17, 2021.

  1. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    It’s a strange paradox when you have been alone/single for years and reach an age where having a female companion seems unnecessary.
    When I was younger, my sexual desire was great and eventually problematic.
    Now that I don’t need my sexual needs satisfied quite as much (or at all atm), I think I would make a better partner. Not being able to manage my desires caused me problems and eventually my addiction to pmo. All water under the bridge, so to speak and nothing to feel guilty about or blame myself for, but I wish I could apologize to the women I just wanted to love, appreciate, and show care and kindness towards.
    Even now I realize my attraction towards a female that I find desirable isn’t something that I want to pursue. Partly because I am afraid of rejection, and that it’s just a selfish attempt to feel better about myself.
    It’s natural to have a need to feel loved, (especially for those who have been abandoned), but I don’t think I want to make my problem someone else’s too.
    I don’t know what I have to offer, but I do wish I could share my feelings of love with another.
    Dreaming, and praying for all of us to feel loved in some way today. I love you guys, NoFap, and humanity too much to give up hope.
     
  2. health life

    health life Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much. Your article helps me a lot.
     
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  3. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @health life Nice to know that my thoughts and words can help a young man like yourself.
    Would be interested in hearing what you found so helpful
     
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  4. health life

    health life Fapstronaut

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    I don't know how to reflect my true feeling to female.
    I hate alone. Alone make me crazy. But I don't have good friend.
    I have PMO, too.
    I have a lot of problem. And I don't know how to solve it. It is too much for me, I can not bear it.
    After I see your words, I see comfortable. But I don't know why.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2022
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  5. Sunshine_www

    Sunshine_www New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your inspiring articles. I was overwhelmed by loneliness these days, and your words made me feel powerful. I think it's quite important to love myself before trying to help others.
     
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  6. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your honesty here very much. You’re not alone. It seems common for males to have difficulty dealing with modern day females. Confusion is the norm, but it doesn’t mean that you need to be too.
    No man is an island. Here on NoFap, you and I (and many others) share a common problem of addiction to pmo. I have other problems too, but I’m focused on overcoming my addiction to pmo and I recommend you do the same.
    Indulging in pmo really complicates our lives on many fronts and levels. Until this is resolved, relationships with women will be difficult/complicated.
    I know you are lonely. It’s normal to want a relationship, so use this desire to commit to rebooting and overcoming your addiction to pmo. It’s the first and most important step in getting the healthy, beautiful, and loving relationship you deserve.
    I wish you succeed and find happiness in life. You can consider me your friend here. So don’t say that you don’t have any friend anymore. It’s just not true. In fact, we’re all probably surrounded by friends that share many of the same wants, needs, worries and cares.
    You are not alone.
     
  7. ConfusedYouth

    ConfusedYouth Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brother for giving a huge insight of how an older man struggle in loneliness. Thank you for letting me understand how art is an necessity to thrive in loneliness. I am young but your word of wisdom open my eyes to be ready in life. Grab my armor and sword to prepare myself to face life harsh, cruel, confused, disgusting world because I know there light in the end of the darkness.
     
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  8. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    Love ya, man. You have a lot of insight and wisdom to share that only comes with life experience. That alone is something to offer. And a listening, empathetic ear from what I gather. You have shared your love and insight with us. And we share it back to you. It need not end there. Don't let the fear stop you. Go apologize to those women you want to apologize to. Go pursue the woman you desire and fear rejection from. They may just surprise you. Relationships hurt, there's no doubt about that. There's simply no way around it. I've yet to experience a relationship that has not at some point caused heartache and pain. That's the cost of living and the cost of loving. Questions is: Are you willing to pay the price?
     
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  9. health life

    health life Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much your reply. I'm appreciate your reply. In this week, I leave my team. Because I don't like be bully,it's not a good thing.

    I think I have something wrong in my mind.
    I need time to find it and solve it.
    That's why I find the bad friend.
    I need to be a good person, and I can find good person to be friend.

    I am really happy you want to be my friend.
    I belive you can overcome all of the condictions,
    Your heart is so kind. and heal my mind.
     
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  10. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. This statement (in particular) must have impressed me, because I asked an acquaintance for the contact number of an old female friend. We were very close friends and spent a lot of time together and on the phone. I wasn’t particularly attracted to her physically, but I greatly appreciated her companionship.
    I was blessed to have good, high quality friends during my youth.
    As I had difficulties navigating through the challenges of my life, I fell behind and lost touch. It seemed a natural result of circumstances and I accepted it as my fate.
    I miss those relationships and friends, but I hesitate to re-establish contact. My life has gone in a different direction and I don’t expect to fall into any social settings without being overly self-conscious of my missteps and misfortune.
    I’m okay being alone and accept whatever the future holds for me.
    I just want to say thanks to God for all of the lovely people (near and far) who have been a part of my life.
    Nofap is the biggest blessing for a person like me. Thanks and best wishes to everyone trying to overcome their addiction and the issues that brought them here.
     
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  11. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Despite being a very lonely character, I cling to the idea that I will find a sense of belonging like I have never known.
    As much as I may prefer to isolate myself, I believe it is my hopes of ultimately bonding deeply with the world around me via a shared experience with a soulmate/lover that pains me the most.
    I may not even believe it is possible, but I cannot completely eliminate the desire to experience a romantic relationship.
    My conclusion is that I truly fall in love with myself and share it with the world. LOL!
    Sounds ridiculous, but I’m sure that it’s the best way to heal my wounded heart.
    I think that’s why I care so much about Nofap and the people I encounter here.
    Happy Easter, and best wishes to all. <3
     
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  12. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Over the past couple weeks, my dreams have included women. Some were of a sexual nature, some about past relationships.
    I’m taking it as sign that I may be coming out of flatline, but I don’t want to dwell on it too much. I just wanted to make note of it for myself.
    I still don’t have any plans for a relationship, but I am thinking that it may have something to do with my recovery from addiction to pmo.
    If the dreams continue, I will remain mindful of not letting them increase feelings of loneliness or push me to act out with any pmo behaviors. I don’t think it’s possible, but I must prepare for the possibility.
    Ideally, I would like to have a healthy libido and find pleasure in having a healthy loving relationship, so I will be sure to control how such dreams may affect me.
    My goal is to live love and to never be taken over by lust again.
    My advice to other single people is to make the most of our time alone and to teach ourselves how to learn to love again.
    Bottom line is that our lives will be better without PMO.
     
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  13. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    It’s true that we all bear some responsibility for being addicted to pmo, but the fact is that there are millions of people who have been harmed. The propagation of pornographic material was and is widespread and quite frankly cruel.
    I’m making this post here in this forum because I’m feeling challenged again and don’t want to think that I’m alone with my struggles.
    I love everyone on Nofap that is sincerely trying to overcome this addiction, and I love myself too much to not try everything I can to not relapse.
    We are not alone. NoFap.
     
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  14. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I read entries on a post “Making Friends as an Adult” this evening and found it interesting. The desire to bond with others is strong. From finding a mutual loving relationship, or forging an identity through shared interests and experiences; it all seems to get a lot more complicated than necessary. Since I was a child, I understood it to be a problem with egos.
    Not completely, but primarily because traditional “friendships” are based on acceptance and understanding, they’re subjected to judgments that will ultimately lead people to include or exclude others when socializing.
    Acceptance and rejection really just boost the ego and that basically gets in the way of simple, honest relationships.
    For me, that’s what a friend has always been.
    I’m alone most of the time. Feeling lonely is common for me, but I don’t feel like it’s a problem that I have to solve. I just accept it because it’s just a feeling I get at certain times.
    Not sure I can offer any proof, but I feel like I probably have a lot of friends. I’m somewhat confident of this because basically, I’m a friendly guy. lol!
    It’s just that for one reason or another, I often find myself alone; and that’s okay.
    I am still available to be a friend to anyone who wants, because basically I am friend to all of humanity.
    You are not alone. NoFap.
     
  15. styles_90

    styles_90 Fapstronaut

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    Live Like a king and see yourself as a king
    #StayRelentless
     
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  16. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reminder @styles_90
    It was years ago, but I remember often saying to myself (as a means of appreciating my independence as a single man), that “I’m the King of my life”.
    Good to recall the hopeful spirit that I was able to generate and use to help improve my situation. It might be time to bring it back.
     
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  17. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    It may seem strange for me to say, but I needed to remind myself that being alone with my sadness is a blessing.
    I was not lucky to have had a good, healthy, and supportive relationship. So, whenever I was feeling sad, tired, weak, or worried, often the only thing I got was criticized, rejected, and chastised.
    Now, I’m free to deal with my emotions on my own terms.
    Surely, many women may find my sensitivity a bit feminine, but it’s okay with me.
    For me, love is caring and being supportive when needed. So I consider it a blessing to be able to support myself by carefully giving myself the love I need to carry on.
    Remember it’s okay to love yourself if no one else will <3
     
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  18. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    For the second time in the past few weeks, I found myself having an erotic dream. Unlike the previous time, it was much worse because it was basically a porn flashback.
    It’s odd because I don’t think I can even have sex at the moment. The best way to explain it to myself is that it was a sign that I haven’t completely beat my addiction to pmo just yet; but I’m getting there.
     
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  19. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate NoFap. As I have said before, it’s been the best thing I’ve found on the internet. I just wish the information from YBOP, and the support of NoFap had been available when I first discovered pmo at the age of 17, or approximately 44 years ago.
    Reading about everyone’s struggles here on the various NoFap forums touch me deeply, and appeal to my compassionate nature. Some of the threads are disturbing, and some are irritating, and some are just the product of scammers and trolls. Thanks to the moderators and volunteers for keeping the site functioning and useful for everyone who needs help with all the problems of their addiction to pmo.
    I have been a member of NoFap for close to 6 years, and benefited greatly from reading all the posts of people openly and honestly sharing their experiences, information, and insights.
    I’m inspired to make this entry because I found some good threads to read this morning; and to say (staying with the theme of this forum), had I not been blessed with so much time alone, I would’ve never have found them.
    So, being alone and perhaps feeling lonely can have it’s benefits. ;-)
     
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  20. Yes I Can Man

    Yes I Can Man Fapstronaut

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    What makes people lonely?
     
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