Life alone, Love alone

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Buddhabro2.0, Nov 17, 2021.

  1. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    It may be that all I have are my memories of being loved and being in love.
    The feeling of being in love has never really gone away, thereby causing me to suffer often with feelings of loneliness.
    Being loved, however, just feels like a big lie.
    Whatever lessons of love there are, the truest is “your heart is a liar”.
    Love seems to be a fleeting and unreliable illusion.
    I wished that I had learned to never completely give my love to anyone, but rather to foster my own love which I could then choose to share.
    Instead, I think I lost myself in love and thus lost my chance to keep it alive.
    With each heartbreaking experience, I lost my ability to love myself.
    While I may still occasionally grieve for the lost loves from my past, I’m angry at myself for it.
    Like Tina Turner said, “What’s love got to do with it”.
    It’s time to feel better about myself and my life, and worry less about depending upon a second hand emotion from someone that I have no control over.
    Showing love to myself is the only responsible thing to do.
    I pray that God will remove all of the fear and pain in my heart and fill it with love.
    You don’t need anyone else to be in love.
    Best wishes to you all <3
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2022
  2. desmond3

    desmond3 Fapstronaut

    Great post!

    In today's world, we say we "love" fish because they are tasty. This is the kind of "love" most people have mistaken for true love.

    We love and care about people because we are first loving by ourselves. It is unconditional and breaking up with someone doesn't change this by even a tiny bit.
    True love comes from within. We can't "find" love outside of us, e.g. from another person, which is an illusion to many.

    May everyone be filled with true love. :)
     
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  3. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

    Week of October 13th, 2022


    [​IMG]
    ♊ GEMINI
    (May 21-June 20)
    Gemini writer Nikki Giovanni reminds us, "It cannot be a mistake to have cared. It cannot be an error to have tried. It cannot be incorrect to have loved." In accordance with astrological omens, I ask you to embody Giovanni's attitude. Shed any worries that your caring and trying and loving have been blunders. Celebrate them, be proud of them, and promise yourself that you will keep caring and trying and loving. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to renew your commitment to your highest goodness.

    Let’s all live love, and commit to our highest goodness. NoFap.
     
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  4. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    555 is the number of days that I have been pmo free.
    I’m determined to free myself from all negative aspects of my life and my feelings. I couldn’t be happier with my self control and faithful adherence to optimistic thoughts.
    Love will win. NoFap.
     
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  5. ARCEUS

    ARCEUS Fapstronaut

    Agreed! Nowadays relationships are being formed on the basis of "lust" more "love".
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2022
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  6. Malickkorasen

    Malickkorasen Fapstronaut

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    Loneliness is an acid that corrodes a person from the inside out.
    Living with someone you love can be more lonely than living all alone if the person you love doesn't love you.
     
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  7. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I remember when love and romance lived and breathed in my heart and soul. I suspect that because I have cut myself off from all my pmo behaviors, love may have a chance to bloom again.
    I’m grateful and cherish every day of my rebooting journey. I thank God for answering my prayers and giving me the chance to make things right.
    Love will win, because His Love conquers all.
    NoFap.
     
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  8. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    For the past 6 days, I’ve been sick with a very bad cough/cold. Being sick and alone is not a good feeling.
    Many of us have to deal with our addiction alone, so this is nothing unusual.
    My childhood experience of being abandoned, neglected, and abused wasn’t ideal, but it strengthened me to face the disappointment and challenges that I would face.
    I’m sorry if my posts seem overly optimistic or dismissive of the difficulties of being alone, but after all I have been through, I don’t think I have a choice.
    We must stay strong and remain optimistic.
    I pray (a lot) that we will all get to experience the love, joy, and happiness we deserve.
    Nofap is a reminder of where it is not to be found. So remember to just say no to pmo.
     
  9. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I had many feelings, thoughts, and memories of loneliness while sick during the past week. I’m feeling better, but the loneliness persists.
    Over the past couple of nights, I’ve dreamt about pmo, or at least the feeling of indulging in pmo. It was strange because I don’t think I even had any urge to do so.
    Upon reflection, I can see that loneliness has been the main reason why I became addicted. Seeing the urge to pmo slip into my subconscious dreams helps remind me to be on guard when feeling lonely and understanding of how I became so extremely addicted.
    Nofap is a reminder that I am not alone, and because of Nofap I will overcome my addiction.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2022
  10. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I hoped that by overcoming my addiction to pmo, my chances of getting into a relationship with a woman would improve. It worked for me when I was 24 years old, and I thought it would help me once again.
    Despite things not turning out as I hoped it would, I’m glad to be alive and free from this addiction.
    Accepting the possibility of ending my life without experiencing the joy of being in a loving relationship again is a little sad, but it’s not uncommon.
    I’m grateful to be able to live out my life pmo free and not have to worry about anything other than my own health and well-being. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for more.
    Soon, it’ll be 2023 and I’ll have another chance at trying to live a life I could have only dreamed of. Let’s all look forward to making 2023 the best year of our lives.
     
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  11. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    Great stuff!
     
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  12. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I’m making this entry tonight because I can’t sleep.
    Today, my brother submitted a friend request to my ex, and was immediately accepted.
    She left me and broke my heart in a cold-hearted manner and I don’t think I ever really recovered from it.
    I don’t think this is foreshadowing any possible reconciliation and worry that this will just lead to more hurt and feelings of rejection and resentment.
    I want to think that I can be the bigger person, but realistically it is likely to put me in an emotionally bad place again.
    Seems like practically my whole life has been heartbreak and disappointment.
    Despite having suicidal thoughts since childhood, I don’t think I could ever follow through with it.
    This is serious.
    I am in poor health and have been aging rapidly the past couple of years. I don’t have the time or energy for this shit anymore. I must find a way to carry on. I hope I can respond to this personal crisis as well as I have in my past.
    In a way, this feels like a life or death situation; a real turning point.
    I’m stuck in the corner and my back is against the wall. The only way out is to come out fighting.
    I suppose I can thank God for putting me in this situation, and challenging me to rise above it.
    I don’t think that I can sink any lower or carry this deep sense of sadness within me any longer.
    Time to dig deeper once again.
    Thank you Nofap for giving me a place to try and deal with this endless carousel of crap that seems to be my life.
    I’m just lucky that this time, pmo is not an option <3
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2022
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  13. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    Great attitude!
     
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  14. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    why did ur brother add your ex?
     
  15. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I don’t know. It’s not like the people in my family have ever shown me much consideration.
    Actually, I showed him that she had assumed an alias and had a FB account…so he figured if she friended him, we might be able to see more pictures. No malicious intent.
    She mentioned that she missed my family, so I’m happy they’ll be able to reconnect.
    I’m just surprised and fearful of reliving the trauma of my wife leaving me:-(
    I just hope and pray that love will find its way to me someday. I deserve better, but I accept the reality of my life.
    I’m finally beginning to understand that I must love and protect myself. The only reason why I’m still here is because I have not been without any blessings.
    I can still love the people who hurt me, but I’m learning to manage my expectations of others.
    Ultimately, I think my brother thought it’d be fun to friend my ex on FB without thinking about how it would affect me. :-(
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2022
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  16. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Finding good friends was something that I may have taken for granted. Being friendly and nonjudgmental, I figured it would not be a problem finding new friends later in life. But, I was wrong.
    The good thing is that I was lucky to reconnect with an old friend today. It was a very nice experience and realized that good friends are hard to find. Therefore, it is important to take care of the special bonds we make with our closest friends.
    I recognize that there are some things that we cannot force, but I need to learn that it’s my responsibility to make more of an effort to make and keep friends.
    Again, being abandoned and neglected early and often might be hard to overcome, but it is definitely worth trying.
     
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  17. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    dang, that sucks. its always painful to get reminded of an ex. be strong, one day you will feel better about everything.
     
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  18. The only thing that a guy can do in adulthood is to build value.
    It is through fitness, work, skills, and other things.
    Through "achievement".
    You may feel abandoned, maybe you were, but most adults are lonely.
    Don't feel like you have some kind of defect that keeps you from finding friends.
    Concentrate on building that value, these things will come.
     
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  19. Buddhabro2.0

    Buddhabro2.0 Fapstronaut

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    I’m hoping to improve my interpersonal relationship skills in 2023, but I don’t want to completely give up my solitude to do so.
    I still want to be able to better cherish/love myself, however, finding good supportive relationships can certainly help.
    Best of luck to everyone in the coming year.
     
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  20. Yeah, I know what you mean. "Isolation is the gift."
     
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