Life Time sissy

This is a paraphilia. This is beyond the scope of NoFap. It is best to speak to a specialist (not just any psychologist) on these matters. Things can be done about it. But I will not sugarcoat: your issue is going to be more difficult to resolve than mine or that of virtually anyone here on this forum. I wish you the best of luck

 

There are few possibilities. You can be 1) asexual with fetish, 2) you can be transgender, 3) you can be a victim of trauma. I am like you and I have considered all 3 possibilites. All 3 variants are valid, you need to explore all options with good therapist.

 

You may be reacting too strongly with masturbation when exposed to feminine or TG stimuli. Try the more introspective approach through meditation while listening to ambient music or something. It's only from deep insights when the mind is really settled that revelations arise which would help you see the bigger picture.

 

Yes, but fetishes are not isolated part of our personalities, our sexuality can be a big part of who we are. This kind of fetishes is a sign of strong attachment to feminity. That's why a lot of transgenders have sexual history like yours during teenage years and young adulthood. Also there is a possibility that this kind of attachemt to feminity is traumatic not natural. Also there are plenty of crossdressers who dosen't want to start transition nevertheless they express their feminity in healthy way, not through compulsive masturbation.

 

You should explore these things with therapist. Personally I have been doing it for the last month.

 

nofap is actually the perfect place for you to be, because, from personal experience and from reading other stories on here, I'm confident that masturbation is a core issue here. You are masturbating to images that represent femininity, hyper-feminine objects. You are associating the object (the representation of femininity) with pleasure, but the woman (the tangible femininity) has been taken out of the fantasy....so a sort of rupture has formed between what you imagine giving you pleasure and what actually can give you pleasure. Masturbation releases dopamine, and the shot of dopamine your brain gets is fooling you into thinking that you are getting real satisfaction from fetishizing the idea of a woman. Cutting down on masturbation is a good first step. This is a good site for tactics and testimonials for that type of stuff.

But its important to think about why the subconscious has pushed away the woman from the fantasy. This is actually really common with the whole sissy phenomenon by the way. But women are often blurred out of the fantasy, the pleasure experience because: bad relationship with mom, bad or inert relationships with women, poor self esteem, bullying over female relationships, childhood trauma, or resentment towards women. I'm not here to diagnose, just to place some markers for your own journey. But I will say that you are not a sissy, sorry, and you probably are not TG either. You are most likely a straight male who idealizes the opposite sex, but somewhere along the way you got mentally derailed or put down and you haven't found a way to get back on track.

here is as good a place as any to reverse the course.

 

Yes. Exclusive masturbation to femization fantasies during my teens and young adulhood was part of my experience.

 

In my case my psychiatrist advises transition. I was in therapy for this "paraphilia" for 2 years. At first
I thought that I have only minor sexual problem but after advanced therapy and psychoanalytic investigation I with my therapist came to the conclusion that my problem is very profound and it is about basic gender identity since childhood, because I never have stong attachment to masculinity and I always was attached to femininity. I don't claim that I know your case, but you with therapist should conisder the possibility that you are trans. Anyway you should overcome compulsive masturbation.

 

Feel free to ignore me, no offense intended... but for a therapist to tell you the "best solution" for you is to get major, irreversible surgery on your sexual organs, sounds like a cop out more than anything. Like she got your money for 2 years, and can't come up with a logical solution, so she tells you what is the easy route for her. Talking to a new therapist for a while, or 2, could save you tons of money on these surgeries, and you may figure more things out about yourself before its too late and you lose your body parts that you were born with forever.

 

I know this kind of opinion, but we should be practical. In general psychiatric treatment is very intrusive, antipsychotics have a lot of side effects. Treatment of paraphilias are also intrusive, this treatment includes chemical castration. This kind of feminization fantasies can be like cancer if they remain untreated, it is a big source of disharmony. Also these fantasies didn't come from nowhere, they have deep roots, and treatment should impact these roots. In order to move forward in life we need to sacrifice something. Maybe it is possibe through deep psychotherapy resolve roots of the problem. But this therapy can be more expensive than transition and have potential side effects. We need to be practical and chose the most optimal treatment.