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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by PeaceOnEarth108, Jun 9, 2021.
What do we do if this thought comes up?
What's the best counter argument?
I think because it's a super-stimulus, many things can seem boring in comparison. But I think it requires some time for our mentality to mature, with lots of failure and wins along the way.
You can also take a deep dive into the psychology of why we shouldn't pursue pleasure all the time. I would start with Mark Manson's books or free online blog, or just generally look for articles on this.
But ultimately, porn affects our reward center. Things that should feel really rewarding don't anymore. Not just sex, but eye contact, great food, exercise, getting work done, solving problems!
If life is not fulfilling, easy highs like sugar, porn, alcohol, are more desirable. But the more we fix our root problems, and it takes time, the less we find these things interesting at all.
The 'rat park' ted talk is probably the best summary I've seen of this.
That’s the best thing that can happen to you. You’re bored so now you have to do something to not be bored anymore. Workout, read books meet friends! Earlier you would have just jacked off and the day would be boring to because you had low energy. Now you have high energy and van do the stuff you want to (except porn)
I would have to say from my experience, all porn ever does is distract from boredom without solving it. When I was doing PMO all the time, I was just as bored again minutes afterward, if not worse. Boredom has to be faced head-on, and PMO can't help you there.
I feel like this is a commonality with all addictions. I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic, and he always says the same thing. It worries me that in some cases it might be impossible for the brain to adjust to the lack of stimulation that was once so abundant. Can even extreme addicts fully recover?
I believe if your life is so boring without it, refer to my second most recent post about some tips on how not to think of it. I highly think of religion and girls as one of my own counter arguments. Let's say you had to tell your mom you jacked. You would be ashamed huh? Find out why you would be ashamed. For me, that would be the simple idea of being a nuisance and a embarressment, and my mom personally makes my own problems known to my family, so that would also be embarrassing.
"Wow that person is so interesting, he watches ALL KINDs of PORN!!"
Yeah, doesn't quite sound convincing right?
There's a difference between exciting and interesting, boring in the sense of lack of excitement might make some sense but not in terms of interesting, it certainly doesn't make you interesting. And as far as the content goes it's not like there's any real significant plot twist in porn, the story tends to be shit. If the same thing didn't have sex in it nobody would consider it a good movie, even with special effects.
If you want to take it to the next level you could ask whether your life is interesting, or what makes someones life interesting instead of just how to deal with a thought. In the bigger picture you might find that thought to be ridiculously misguided and it becoming a non-issue.
I don't see why someone can't.
I actually think life is boring with it as well.
For me it can be extremely exciting and enjoyable if I hardly ever do it and then do it. But that excitement and enjoyment I get initially goes away quick.
But I suppose this is actually a good thing, because imagine if it was just constantly enjoyable.
That's a very good point!
One thing a counsellor mentioned to me is that adults often don't want to 'sit' with boredom. We would rather flick out our phone, or do anything else, than be bored.
Bored is also an emotion. But it's not good or bad. And by sitting with our boredom for a while, i.e. literally sitting there doing nothing or just mundane tasks, we can solve problems.
The boredom gives our minds time to think, consciously or subconsciously, about our problems. Similar to how we lie there in bed at night and sometimes come up with a great idea.
Just another reason to avoid overstimulating our minds too often. Boredom can be dull but also useful.
It's the same thing that a lot of people say about going sober being boring.
In reality it's not boring, you just need to learn how to appreciate other things.
I just wonder from time to time if extreme addicts (with any addiction) have permanently fried certain parts of their brain. Sometimes you see former alcoholics and drug addicts who have been sober for years, but something about them still seems vacant and dull.
Maybe they aren't being truly sober? It is a scary thought though. I do hope that I can recover myself.
@Mr. Kruger , have you noticed any mental or physical improvements, since your NoFap streak started?
I've noticed some big improvements, but I'm still not back to my pre-addiction self.
You'll get there! I believe in you and I'm sure that 118 day streak is something to be proud of.
Where the heart goes the brain and body follows, find a purpose in life and you will be happy doing as little as drinking water, what better porpuse than finding out why you are created in the universe and why you have been given life, all question which Allah and his Prophets has given answers too
Thanks! The longest streak I ever got to was a little over 120 days. I really want to break that record and make it to 200+ if I can.