Life Without Porn - Boys Trying For Days Just To Get A Glimpse At A Nipple

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Three Dog, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. Three Dog

    Three Dog Fapstronaut

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    I was talking to my mate the other day and I brought up the question of how bloody different life would be if there was no such thing as porn. My hypothesis is that if this were the case, everyone would be getting laid MUCH more than in todays conditions.
    Just think about it right, if there was no way we could see a boob unless we went out and worked for it, our social lives would be better because we have to be 'out in the wild' talking to people, we wouldn't spend hours a day looking at pixelated women, and life would be just better in general I rekon.

    Guys are pretty desperate to see chicks naked, that's just the way we are. So if we didn't have the easy option of looking up boobies online, we'd be crushing the puss in real life right? Either that or all girls would just hate men and we'd work our arses off to no avail.

    But either way it'd be nice and I'd prefer it.
     
  2. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Ya buddy, but I've often wondered about the other side of porn as well. I'm talking about how girls feel the weight of pornography.

    Do they feel like they are in constant need to compete with the skinny, double d flawless girls who can take multiple penis' at one time in the videos? I feel like girls have a hard enough time trying to become "perfect" like girls on the front of magazines. Porn only adds more worries about sex for both genders in my opinion.

    Sex is so hush hush, and girls are often humiliated and teased if they sleep with multiple guys, but at the same time, guys are constantly jerking the chicken in private to fake girls. I think it's time open discussion about this topic needs to come about.
     
  3. Three Dog

    Three Dog Fapstronaut

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    Yeah dude you're totally right. Personally, I feel like I have been brainwashed into thinking that I only want a girl who is skinny,and has all the qualities of a porn actress. I guess that's one of the reasons why im doing this challenge, to try and break that mental construct in my head.
     
  4. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Damn man me too. I can feel my brain mentality changing, but at the same time, I still feel the old me only looking for girls who look good superficially. It really needs to stop. I'm only coming to realize now how much porn has changed the way I view girls. I need to break this way of thinking. It's only the product of years of porn watching.
     
  5. Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

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    So right guys
    This is the nut of why pornography is so bad. It's not the masturbation, it's the "image inflation", the problem caused on both sides of the formula, that one cannot attain perfection so let's just not even try anymore and resort to our private fantasy life, instead of the real world with all of its challenges and rewards.
     
  6. CommittedtothePath

    CommittedtothePath Fapstronaut

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    The other thing here is that pornography is not perfection, it is "perfection". It is an attempt to simulate perfection, or usually starts as such, and then ultimately ends in complete pathologisation of sexuality and distortion of what arouses.

    One of the key hardest things of a successful reboot is looking at the underlying fantasy, and it is a scary and sad one. For most men watching a low level of pornography, the fantasy that is unresolved is to have a very very beautiful woman in a relationship with me, who I can make love with. I tried to "simulate" a real sexual relationship and got nowhere. Repeatedly dissatisfed, this was one of the drivers of the addiction. This is just where the unresolved fantasy starts. The fantasies can get worse as people watch more porn or have other ideas or insults to their development (sexual abuse, other experiences with women etc.)

    When you reboot one of the great challenges is a type of grief cycle. You come off porn and you actually feel sad. You feel sad because you realise that the underlying fantasy, which has still remained unresolved as porn so fake and useless, is still there and you actually dont have a good way to resolve it. You may be lonely. Your marriage may have problems. THe world is not perfect. You need to get through this grief and commit to a newer path. This is the path of God. You need to learn to appreciate and make th emost of what you have, to live in the present and take in all the world's beauty - sexual, non-sexual, constructional and otherwise. The unresolved fantasy inside you arose because you were a sexually wounded and emotionally/spiritually wounded person. To heal, you create a separation from this past and find that new gentler path where you learn that some pain is ok, and that you have many more options to get through the pains of this world.

    EDIT: some of the younger guys here believe that once they get off PMO they will be having unlimited access to great sex with really beautiful women. The problems run deeper than that unfortunately. Notice how this type of thinking echoes a kind of dependency on women and sex. The reality is that most do not get a woman with the genes like those in pornography in bed with them. It is just reality. This is not to say that women in pornography would evera ctually make a good wife, they too are traumatised and harmed. They hate men and are themselves addicted to both sex and drugs. They have been abused and traumatised in their life and have turned to that lifestyle, being exploited. The reality is that you need to change the arousal template inside you completely and let it adapt and modulate to the beauty of any woman you do end up in a relationship with. This is easier said than done. You need to learn a lot more about sexuality than just visual arousal, a stage at which pornography arrests sexual development.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
  7. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    this insight is very good - thanks.
     
  8. Anon82

    Anon82 Fapstronaut

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    There are some people who are quite capable of getting aroused by "safe for work" images or their own sketches. Pictures of images of nipples or private parts aren't the problem. Rather, it is how the mind reacts to those images. The same image that would strongly arouse one person may do nothing and even actively repulse someone else.

    True, porn may make a person anti-social, but there is also the problem of sexual addiction. If, instead of looking a porn, you visited a topless bar twice a week, would you really be that much better off? True, your social skills might improve a bit, but would that really be much of a self-improvement?
     
  9. wotawanka

    wotawanka Fapstronaut

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    Sorry I have to challenge that statement just because it is such a sweeping generalisation.
     
  10. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    why generalisation wotawanka?

    i think most of the girls in the pornbusiness are traumatised and harmed. this kind of exploitation is a kind of heavy self-punishment. and surely they are addicted to sex and drugs (or alcohol).

    i said most of the girls not all the girls. for sure there are girls and boys who exactly know what they are doing in this business - working for money and fame.

    for a heavily sexaddicted person this business must be a wonderworld. we are fighting against this addiction - this people are totally enslaved by this addiction.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2014
  11. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    He is actually spot on with this. The women who act in porn are almost all abused, on drugs and eventually traumatized. I recently watched a short Vlog of ex-porn star Jessie Rogers (I'm sure you've all heard of her and/or viewed her content) in which she describes the conditions female porn stars are often subjected to. She was a top porn star, but decided to call it quits for various health issues. We don't see what happens before the camera is turned on, and after the camera is turned off. These women are exposed and horrifyingly exploited.
     
  12. I'm not sure I understood everything in this thread, but porn isn't just the industry... I used to love amateur a billion times more and I know some people here are much more addicted to cams than anything else. Besides you can't know how it's like from the other side if you've never been at it, specially more if you're an addict of the product. Oh ok sorry- basically I'm just reinforcing what you guys said.
     
  13. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Abel, just a couple statistics for thought:

    -79% of porn performers have used marijuana, and 50% have used ecstasy
    -88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression, and 49% of scenes contain verbal aggression

    A recent content analysis of the 50 best-selling adult videos revealed that across all scenes:
    o 3,376 verbal and/or physically aggressive acts were observed.
    o On average, scenes had 11.52 acts of either verbal of physical aggression, ranging from none to 128.
    o 48 percent of the 304 scenes analyzed contained verbal aggression, while more than 88 percent showed physical aggression.
    o 72 percent of aggressive acts were perpetrated by men.
    o 94 percent of aggressive acts were committed against women


    And even worse is this:
    -89% of women in the sex industry said they wanted to escape, but had no other means for survival


    It's not just my opinion.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2014
  14. The Equalizer

    The Equalizer Fapstronaut

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    See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

    I try to keep porn off my mind all the time.

    It's a really scary and despicable industry when you look deeply into it. The concept of pornography before technology was even around is dehumanizing and inherently evil (from a grand universal perspective, not religious at all).
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2014
  15. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Main source is here: http://iamatreasure.com/about-us/statistics/#sthash.mF0McW3S.dpbs

    This is what reads at the top of the page: We are located in the heart of the Adult Industry Capital of the World, in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles. 90% of all legal porn world-wide is filmed, distributed, and or manufactured here

    I suppose this is a sample size: A content analysis of the 50 best-selling adult videos revealed that across all scenes

    You seem dubious Abel, and I wondering as to why. I thought we are all fighting porn.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2014
  16. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

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    I'm 100% sure that girls are effected by the majority of guys viewing porn, and watching it themselves. A lot of sexual abuse is probably going on and considered "normal" behavior.

    I'm guilty of it too. I would like my future relationships to be more wholesome and natural. Not like what many of us were watching in porn.

    - vM
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2014
  17. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Which is understandable. I would not produce an opinion such as this without any statistical evidence.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2014
  18. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    guys there is a very good documentary - careful it contains many triggers!

    9to5: days in porn

    the best documentary i watched about the topic porn so far. here you can see and feel how mentally destroyed most of the actors are.
     
  19. Eagersalmon

    Eagersalmon Fapstronaut

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    Well humans have been recreating genitalia since we figured out how. It makes sense really. We as a species are generally obsessed with relationships and sex.

    I doubt porn will ever go away; it's far too tempting. And for the majority of human history such 'porn' does not appear to be a major issue.

    However, what we see today is another beast entirely. High speed internet porn seems to be way too much for our reward systems. When you think about it porn is absurd. The fact that you can see multitudes of sexual acts within ten minutes would seem beyond belief to our ancestors.

    Furthermore, i think the battle is not to be had with porn, it is with ourselves. I would not deny anyone the experience of porn that i indulged in for many years. It's a problem regarding self discipline and what you want from life.

    Back to the topic:

    I doubt everyone would be having sex all the time were porn to not exist. There would still be roughly the similar barriers to sex that appear today.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2014

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