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Like your mother?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by onceaking, Nov 3, 2019.

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  1. Nov 3, 2019 #1
    onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

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    I used to have a good relationship with my mother but now it isn't so great. I hate the idea of having a girlfriend who would be like her. I find myself liking women who have the same hair colour as her and hate myself for it. I don't want to have a girlfriend like my mother and that includes the hair colour. I get mad at myself for finding women who have the same hair colour as my mother attractive. Does anyone feel this way? Would you refuse to date a woman who has the same hair colour as your mother? If a woman had a similar personality to your mother would you end the relationship?

    IDK maybe I'm being silly but sometimes I'm frustrated by her and don't want a girlfriend like her.
     
    onceaking, Nov 3, 2019
    onceaking, Nov 3, 2019
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  2. Nov 3, 2019 #2
    Fallacious D

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    I'm terrified of meeting a girl like my mom. She's unstable and has emotional issues from being abused. But I guess I'll see what cards life deals me. I probably would end the relationship if she reminded me of my mom. I want an independent, strong, emotionally stable, calm woman, but I guess I
    might as well turn gay because I think women like that are rare or nonexistent.
     
    Fallacious D, Nov 3, 2019
    Fallacious D, Nov 3, 2019
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  3. Nov 3, 2019 #3
    onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

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    My ex's were independent and strong but weren't very calm. Really for a woman to be all of those things I reckon she has done a lot of work on herself. The same goes for men. Men can be just as insecure as women but they do a better job at hiding it.
     
    onceaking, Nov 3, 2019
    onceaking, Nov 3, 2019
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  4. Nov 3, 2019 #4
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    My mom is a great woman so ive never really thought about that kind of stuff. My wife has some simularities to my mother but theyre definitely two different people. For people that had mommy issues, i can understand not wanting simularities. My father was a real piece of work, so I always strived to be nothing like him.
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 3, 2019
    Deleted Account, Nov 3, 2019
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  5. Nov 3, 2019 #5
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    I get you fam.

    I had a girlfriend before my wife that my mom really liked. It was a HUGE turn off. I don't have an amazing relationship with my mom but it feels like I'm doing something wrong if my mom really really approves of her. It's maybe a twisted latent rebellion of some kind.
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 3, 2019
    Deleted Account, Nov 3, 2019
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  6. Nov 3, 2019 #6
    Infrasapiens

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    Well my ex-girlfriend was the "Anti- my mom" and I was crazy about her. I am more afraid of becoming like my dad.
     
    Infrasapiens, Nov 3, 2019
    Infrasapiens, Nov 3, 2019
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  7. Nov 3, 2019 #7
    koolpal

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    I was reading about this Parent-Adult-Child model.

    The idea of your girlfriend being like your mom,
    can place you psychologically in a parent-child relationship with your girlfriend.

    Not to say you have mommy issues,
    it just sounds like you'd rather have an adult-adult relationship,
    instead a parent-child relationship.
    Well, coz, she's not your mom!

    Hair color and personality doesn't bother me as much as a parent-child relationship with someone who's not my parent.

    Hope that helps.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_OK_–_You're_OK#The_Parent,_Adult,_Child_(P-A-C)_model
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans...go-state_(or_Parent–Adult–Child_(PAC))_models
     
    koolpal, Nov 3, 2019
    koolpal, Nov 3, 2019
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