Lol

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by naonaise, May 29, 2021.

  1. naonaise

    naonaise Fapstronaut

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    I happened to see my SO’s post on here. People are calling me “bitchy” for not applauding him for the literal bare minimum of effort to fix this situation.

    Let’s see if he’ll let them talk about me like that when that surely is not the case.

    lolol
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Agree with you but you don't sound supportive either..
     
  3. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    It's pretty hard to continue supporting someone that continues to lie and hurt you over and over and over and over and over again. He is neither sober nor in recovery, and he clearly doesn't want to be. He's putting for the minimal effort, lying about what he's doing, making her drag it out of him, and then attempting to make her feel guilty for not throwing a parade when he finally does the right thing, even though he did it reluctantly. These are not signs of someone that is truly remorseful and wants to have a happy and fulfilling life with his partner.
     
    hope4healing, kropo82 and naonaise like this.
  4. naonaise

    naonaise Fapstronaut

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    I have been PLENTY supportive for 1848 days, actually. Asking for the bare minimum of honesty and accountability for that long and RIGHTFULLY being upset about it is not something I asked your opinion about. Move along.
     
    +TenPercent and hope4healing like this.
  5. coconutpalmie

    coconutpalmie New Fapstronaut

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    Look man. As terrible as I am and have been to her, she has been nothing but loving and supportive. My post from a few days ago was whiny, and a horrendous way for me to tell our story. But this woman. This woman keeps coming back because she continues to believe I can be and do better. And I couldn't be more appreciative of that. So how about you stop calling my girlfriend a bitch just because you saw my post first.
     
    Meshuga and naonaise like this.
  6. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't put up with a person that behaves this way. I just move on with my life with the confidence that I can find someone better. Why waste time with a person that make you feel that crappy when you can share it with family and friends and eventually also share it with a person that make you feel even happier?
    Istead of posting here something that aggreive to his SO in a forum move on with your life.. no matter how much you treateng him is going to change him. That's not loving...

    As I said.. you were supportive. now you are been bitchy because you are no longer supportive because you figured out he is not going to change.. Istead of been bitchy to him, let it go.. acept the fact that he is not ready to be the person you want him to be and move on with your life or accept the way he is but don't complain about it.

    You call her bitchy... not me. I'm only commenting on your post. If she is so amazing.. then do the work and get your shit together. You are only sharing your problems with her and that is not ok in a relationship.
     
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    @naonaise & @coconutname, I'm not sure it's a great idea to read each other's journal here. I think it is important that you do not keep secrets, that you speak openly and honestly from the heart, but you may each need to say things in your journal that aren't right for each other to hear. I know some couples do read each other's posts (e.g. @Jagliana & @Wade W. Wilson) but they are a long way into recovery. Just my 2p worth.
     
    Rents77 likes this.
  8. I was thinking something similar but it's always hard to participate when it's a personal thread, but I'll just speak generally (so not about this particular situation) as a reply of a reply.

    Maybe the main issue of any kind of social media is this amplification effect where you end up attracting other people to support one side or another - for anything. I think this ends up adding fuel to the fire from the masses who just don't know the people involved enough. Even if it seems supportive, often it is biased and just doesn't have the whole story. It can start very small and it's not like anyone consciously sets out with an agenda to get a bunch of people on their side to tell the other off, but the way things are set up online it will take on a life of its own. From that perspective it isn't even about who is saying what or who is doing what in the particular relationship or argument etc., but it's this side effect of online interaction that can worsen things. The thing that worries me is a lot of people don't really notice this and the negative effect, which is from a dumb machine and just the nature of a forum, and it gets attributed to people, but without the machine mediating the communication it just wouldn't really happen, certainly not to the same degree. I imagine people reading this can be a little aware but I think it needs to go a bit further than that, I think because it is so pervasive people don't think there's anything to be concerned about as far as the tech goes but it's a real issue.

    Put it this way, just as it would be really hard to have PMO addiction without the tech, it may be just as essential to consider the tech aspect of the social conversations we have online.
     
    Meshuga and Anywherewithyou like this.
  9. He did not say that. You are the only one who has ever called her that.
     
  10. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    He wrote a post complaning that she is no longer suportive and controlling and demanding and he don't like the way he is treating him. Read between the lines, he don't have ball to tell it. And I can understand why, it was easy to see in this post from her were eh shows all the bad attitud she is having.
     
  11. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    So.... you admit to being the only one to call her that name. Got it.
     
  12. DefendMyHeart

    DefendMyHeart Fapstronaut

    I too, can know anything and everything about people based on reading one thing they wrote about because obviously people and emotions are not complex or dynamic *insert eyeroll
     

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