Loneliness and helplessness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by seagulls6878, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I am depressed all the time. I have had pied since I was 20 I am now 27. I feel like I hve been cheated. I have turned into a bitter atheist who hates life and religion. I don’t know how to get out of this. I am a slave to porn and escorts. Sometimes I just wish I’d get hit by a bus and it would be over with . I find joy in nothing, used to play guitar and skateboard. Used to do things now I do nothing I’m 27 but might as well be 87. Does anyone else hate life like this or have you recovered
     
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  2. fusionxx23

    fusionxx23 Fapstronaut

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    Stop feeding instant pleasures. Sometimes u got to go out there and bear ur suffering so you can get meaning in life. Re-find ur masculinity. Dw ur not alone
     
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  3. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Things worth having in life, demand some form of progressive hard work, and during the process you will discover joy and happiness. Learn to love the process where you get a reward after a set period of time and effort is invested into it, because that's how everything in life works. There is no eternal joy, no eternal motivation, learn to be dedicated and just do the thing. Start playing guitar and learn it from someone if possible. Eventually you will rediscover the bond that attracted you to it in the first place, go skateboard everyday for a few minutes and you will find someone who will start talking to you and you guys will be able to push one another. It will demand effort and results will be slow, but that's the point. Easy to gain, easy to lose.

    Best wishes
    MSH
     
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  4. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    It’s just hard....27 years old , seeing the childhood you grew up with in the neighborhood having kids of their own now and buying their first home together and shit . Here I am 27 been single for years with a dick that doesn’t work and find no joy in absolutely anything. It just feels like I can’t get out of this
     
  5. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    As a PMO'er for 20 years, only 1 "girlfriend" for like 3 months, I have to say you can still turn your life around. People here can encourage you but only you have to say F this! I'm gotta get my shit together. This isn't what most people here would say and is highly discouraged but P got me through some lonely, desperate times. Again frowned upon but I truly appreciated P and found it soothing. I was like this is great (delusional). I'm ok with admitting it. I'm 45 now, single, never had a "real" girlfriend but I DO have a decent job as a Network Administrator. Love my parents, keep a nice place, yard... I used to clean pools, paint houses, work in bars, restaurants, hotels. What I'm saying is that work on you career, save some money, buy a new skate setup, go to Barcelona on a skate trip (I was a huge 90's skater). If I didn't have P I wouldn't have made it. It got me through but super depressed. Suicidal. I lost part of my "old" self before P. I didn't even realize it. Laptop and high speed internet killed me. SO I can't go back in time, I can only look forward. Neither can you. If cold turkey isn't working out for you then baby steps while you get other things in order like I mentioned. I know this is not recommended but that's what got me through. Now I can honestly say I've renewed my relationship with God, I want to be happy, be kind to others, forgive, and NEVER go back to PMO. Yes, it took a long time to realize the error of my ways. You are on your journey. Stop beating yourself up but also don't just throw in the towel. YOU CAN, SO DO! Best of luck brother.
     
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  6. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I’m so angry like I said angry at everyone. It’s always been like this with me. Rather it be alcohol drugs porn whatever. Anything that stimulates me I always get addicted. Is it because real life is so pitiful and boring? I have long since put down the drugs and alcohol and focus on my fitness now. Like I said still angry. I sometimes blame my parents for this. They were too strict or made me go to church to much whatever whatever. In the end who do I really hate ? I guess I hate myself. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I still struggle with hookers but haven’t seen one in a while. My doctor has prescribed me viag, however when I take it I become erect but no pleasure is involved. My friends tell me maybe it would help if I got a real Gf but as you can understand my confidence is to low for that. I slept with someone about 6 months ago. I couldn’t get hard , looking at her body I may as well have been looking at a book of butterflies. I knew she was attractive but my brain wouldn’t send the signals.
     
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  7. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    Indeed, keep up the healing with the tools for PMO recovery and perhaps seek out a relationship, or better happen upon one without even trying and without any expectation for incessant sex. Don't make sex the end goal with the girl. If you're not aroused, you don't need to have the sex all the time. Girls don't necessarily want sex all the time. And, not having it in the beginning of a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. Make a healthy relationship with your girl the end goal, and with your gradual reprogramming with PMO freedom, the arousal will come back on its own - but even then, you don't shift back to sex as the end all. The relationship will always be your primary focus, especially when sex tends to lessen naturally anyway as couples continue long term together.
     
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  8. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    I understand that. But to but perfectly blunt and honest no girl is gonna be with a guy whose dick won’t get hard. It’s just not gonna happen.
     
  9. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut

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  10. frogs2345

    frogs2345 Fapstronaut

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    The only person you are hurting with your anger is you. Let go. You are holding yourself back from real growth when you keep holding onto childish things. Anger is normal. Anger at things you can't control is foolish.

    What you need is discipline. You say everything is addictive. Yes, too much of any good thing is bad. Does that mean you have to indulge and binge on anything that lets you feel alive for a moment? Not in any sense. Work to shape your behavior. No one can do this for you. You are 27 and feel worthless? You have at best 53 more years, and at worst 33, to work on yourself. My whole life changed in less than 6 months, so how much more could yours change in 33 years if you put your mind to it. The only thing stopping you from change is yourself. Nothing can hold you back but your own motivations. If you even think that someone else is holding you back, you're wrong. A change of mindset, setting, or conviction is all you need. Martin Luther King did not sit back and let others rule over him. He committed crimes in his day because he believed the laws were unjust. He was beaten and bruised and worse for a cause he believed in. Porn is unjust for your body. Defy society and kick it to the curb. Worry about yourself, because nobody else matters more.
     
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  11. BlueBalls

    BlueBalls Fapstronaut

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    I'm feeling pretty much the same as you right now. I've struggled with with depression for as long as I can remember, but I have the unfortunate curse of being a 5'3 midget who gets overlooked by most women. I have a loving family who care about me but I since I little care for life anymore I simply neglect them. I have a deep resentment towards my mother for having given birth to me. I've taken so many steps to improve myself, been 3 years quit smoking, I took up kickboxing, made it to 90 dyas nofap twice, on my 3rd round of the insanity fitness program, and I'm by no means ugly ..... then I'm reminded every time I go out, go to work etc .. of my limitations because of my damn height. It's funny because since January I managed to to date 4 different women and sleep with 3 of them, but as is the way, women aren't interested in a relationship with small guys like me, so it feels like everything I've done counts for jack shit. I've noticed that by the second week of noFap the suicidal thoughts return and get more and more serious.
    I'm like you in that I find no joy in anything these days, films, games, socialising, least of all spending time with family, who just annoy me more than anything else. I think I'm ready to go
     
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  12. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah bro it’s weird cause you feel like your the only one going through it but then you find there are others. I imagine myself growing old by myself all these things. I know one day will be reality so I brace myself now for it. I’m not gonna put a gun to my head but let’s just say if I got hit by a bus it would be no big deal
     
  13. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    But yeah man everything is like nails on a chalk board to me
     
  14. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 34 and feel the same as you.

    I have the same guitar since I was 21 and think I could have learned and developed a skill in that time.

    Instead I wipe the dust off it and play it for a gew minutes in between downloading porn because I have no life, no friends, work sucks and I am totally unmotivated.

    Seeing a doctor about anxiety stuff next week but have a feeling I'll still be trapped in a PMO cycle.

    For now I'm staying on nofap until I notice a change.
     
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  15. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    do you have pied cause I have that too
     
  16. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it has got worse over the years. My ex girlfriend used to ask if I watch porn, I just lied and said 'no' . She said 'good, it's what boys do'. That has stuck with me since. We never had good sex, it felt boring and unimaginative. I think it was around then when I realised I had early onset of pied. I have been miserable ever since and there's literally nothing that excites me
     
  17. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man it has a hold on me like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life
     
  18. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    Try to see that having a girl as not absolutely essential to living life as a man. Probably better off too.
     
  19. Helpneededpeace

    Helpneededpeace New Fapstronaut

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    I was depressed for years. Suicidal thoughts. Tried once or twice to kill myself. Hardly went out. Ordered take out to eat.

    I know you said you have Religion, but what has helped me with a lot of this is learning who God is. Finding God is not about Religion. Jesus did not like Religion. Finding God is about having a relationship with him and a lot of scripture really helps elevate your mood and change your mind. What you focus on and think that is so important, and your expected outcomes-all your thought process changes and you are able to fin some kind of peace and joy even if your circumstances are in chaos.


    Have you also tried counselling?
     
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  20. seagulls6878

    seagulls6878 Fapstronaut

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    No I haven’t man I just try and stay busy but the thoughts return soon enough man and I feel like I wanna surf the web or call an escort
     

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