Loneliness Being Married

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Everyonelies, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Everyonelies

    Everyonelies Fapstronaut

    I swear sometimes I have periods of loneliness that are deeper than when I was single and had a bunch of kids.

    Anyone else feel lonely even though they are married?
     
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  2. Sometimes. I never cease to be amazed at how different my wife is to me in many ways - which leads to feelings of loneliness. However, despite this because I love her so much as a person I don't mind. It is a 'sweet' loneliness.

    The thing that really gets me is that I know one day we will be parted. Ultimately, I will be truly alone again, so in relative terms, I know my loneliness is an illusion.
     
  3. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I’m married and can feel lonely. Before I was married I had plenty of bouts of loneliness. I could feel lonely in a crowd. In fact I would often feel most lonely in a crowd. Loneliness, it seems to me, always had something to do with not feeling connected to people. It can be worse when you think you should feel connected to people and aren’t.
     
  4. TheBaeLessWonder

    TheBaeLessWonder Fapstronaut

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    I'm not married but I've have felt the most lonely in my life in a group of people that I am not connected with. I was at my school in the student union that always is filled with people, but I felt ridiculously lonely because I didn't know any of them.
     
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  5. Everyonelies

    Everyonelies Fapstronaut

    @LavaMe and @TheBaeLessWonder yes you both hit on something interesting. It is the lack of connection with people that is loneliness.

    I just think it's... Remarkable... How lonely one can feel in the presence of an important person to you as well as a group of others.
     
  6. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I have received some therapy, and a suggestion for the root cause of some of my problems (including PMO) was a lack of connection. What this means and how to solve it is a huge topic. It is the subject of philosophies and religions. But it seems to me we have some desire to be loved and understood for who we are in our nakedness (physical and spiritual). Often I fear people not liking me if they knew the real me. And if I looked at my thoughts there are plenty of people who I don’t like/love for who I think they are. Anyway, I think a lot of my problems with loneliness come down to me seeing myself as unlovable.
     
  7. Everyonelies

    Everyonelies Fapstronaut

    That's very profound thank you for sharing it.

    I think I see myself in some of that.
     
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  8. LindaMoon

    LindaMoon Fapstronaut

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    Absolutelly me! My husband is adiccted to PMO in recovery.
    I feel like the ugliest woman in the world. the most stupid woman, the most unhappy. I feel empty and very lonely :/
     
  9. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    I'm not married or have any experience in this type of thing, but why don't you go out to eat, or watch a movie with your wife to spend time instead of feeling lonely?
     
  10. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    You're not ugly, nobody isn't. You are your own worst critic. It's fine, you're beautiful and unique.
     
  11. Everyonelies

    Everyonelies Fapstronaut

    We have kids... And we do things together but that doesn't stop her from picking up the phone and checking Facebook
     
  12. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    Well, then you need to talk to her. Tell her what bothers you and how you feel about it politely. Relationships don't work when there's a lack of communication.
     
  13. Everyonelies

    Everyonelies Fapstronaut

    We've been married 17 years.. I know about communication or the lack of.

    When you're partner dismisses or invalidates your thoughts and feelings saying I'm bothered just gets me an eye roll, sarcastic response or somehow it's my problem for feeling what I feel... Then what.

    You can't change people.. You can't make them give a fuck if they don't.
     
    LindaMoon and Deleted Account like this.

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