Loneliness causes addiction

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Dec 1, 2020.

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How much did you watch porn and masturbate in a week?

  1. Every freaking day

    10 vote(s)
    58.8%
  2. 2-5 times a week

    7 vote(s)
    41.2%
  1. It's my second day in this community I'm just posting this thread to unlock signatures.
    But I really value being with someone because loneliness in my opinion causes this addiction. People can smoke or drink alcohol to fit in some group but masturbation and porn addiction are for me caused by loneliness because I wouldn't do any of those things in front of someone. So yeah, with this community I know that I am not alone and I hope to succeed and I also wish you to be successful.
     
  2. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, Loneliness is a big contributor for me. But I must admit I also like enjoy the stimulation. So PMO is an easy way to kill time when you are feeling lonely. Been a struggle the last nine months. Been really inconsistent. Would go a month, then relapse and repeat the cycle over and over. Aiming for a thirty days over December.

    It definitely helps to be more social, so as a rule recently once I get an invitation to do anything social I go. I also try to encourage social activities with my friends. Many on the forum will tell you it is about improving you life in a more holistic manner. And I agree, you need to fill those gaps that you attempt to fill with PMO. A regular exercise routine for the body, some activity to stimulate the mind, I have been using audio books. Actually in many instances I have been finding audio books more entertaining that regular television.

    Good luck on your journey and welcome!
     
    FezMan76 and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  3. Thanks for your advice man. Really appreciate it.
     
  4. Luis1912

    Luis1912 Fapstronaut

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    HI there i agreewith you sometimes loneliness its a trigger really hard to control, its not just the fact of being lonely, its more like feeling lonely, like you dont have any friends or dont belong somewhere, its a real hard feeling bro and you are not alone
    btw im new here too so if you want to talk with someone you can wirte to me or just make a post and someone Will reply, remeber we are here to help each other
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    I think part of the process is about getting comfortable being alone also. I am not saying you should be a hermit but we also need to be able to manage loneliness also. Reality is that you may not have someone to share your time with at all time e.g. There are time when I am out with my friends quite a bit but that feeling of loneliness creeps in when as soon as I am alone.

    I say this also, because you do not want to be running back to your old habits as soon as you feel lonely. We need to be able to manage those feelings and accept that we will feel lonely at some point. Instead of turning to PMO, take steps to mitigate and alleviate your loneliness.

    I big mistake I have made in the past is becoming dependent on my GF, things are great when you have a solid GF but if the relationship ends and she was you anchor, then you can find yourself running back to your old habits when the relationship ends. This is why I say you also need to learn how to be cope with being alone.
     
    nghia_haribol likes this.
  6. Again a piece of great advice from you, I know there will be times when I'll be alone and I am coping with it by staying active on this website, watching TV, playing videogames even exercising due to quarantine. I also create a daily plan because before I joined this community I knew that I needed to do something else than distract myself by pixelated women but I couldn't resist. When I have a daily plan I'm really focused on it and for example today I didn't even have an urge to relapse. But still, a long way to go man.
     
  7. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    While some persons do not recommend it, I use software to restrict porn. I have had my longest streaks when I use this software. Up to maybe 6 - 7 months. These can really help during a time of weakness. Because you have to work your way around the software to have access to porn.

    It is like another level you need to clear in order to have access instead of some random pop up or urge causing you relapse.
     
  8. Thanks, that seems useful, would you recommend me some software or it doesn't really matter which one?
     
  9. powerd992

    powerd992 Fapstronaut

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    To me, who am living with my family during quarantine, I am sure that developing healthier habits (e.g. reading, learning new languages, etc.) is far more nurturing to your loneliness than watching videos, actually loneliness can help to be more in touch with your spirit side.. However, people need someone, so in the end at least some visits to elderly relatives or others is important. I wish to start some volunteering too, with the poor and needy. After relapsing today, I understood that first:
    1. It is important to be CONVINCED about why it is beneficial to stay pure;
    2. You should not spend time in front of computer screens in general, except for work (this also includes any "innocent" video, because you never know where your mind or the youtube suggested videos might take you...).
    I wish you best of luck for your journey.
     
  10. You are pretty close to the truth. Healthy people have connections, friends, hobbies. Drug addicts escapes reality. It is that simple really. Check out the Tedx talk about it on YouTube. It is quite popular so it will be easy to find. So what you have to do is make friends, get hobbies and start doing stuff you know are good for you. Soon you wont event hink about PMO anymore.
     
  11. I have been very proactive lately. Dont wait for those invitations. Actively search for social events. Reach out to old friends on facebook. I have been doing so. It scored me several dates and I have contact with some old friends again. Went from almost none to having 10+ friends I can hang out with again. I wont stop there though. Also hobbies and exercise, studies/work helps
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Good advice, being proactive is always good. And being social is a big part of PMO recovery to me. Porn and hiding away at home go together. Also, like powered992 said, we need to spend less time in front a computer screen. Being on the pc all the time is like being a recovering alcoholic and chilling at a bar.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  13. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    I use a free software called Kurupira. It works really well! The only challenge is the customer support, it is basically non existent. I suspect that this is the case because it is free. I believe it works on PC only and it is definitely not for mobile devices. If you have someone you trust and you feel comfortable speaking with them about your addiction, let them install the software and set the password. That way you do not know the password and if you need to have a change because the software is blocking a website it should not. That person can come make the change for you. This is like having you own customer support.

    I do not have any one who can do this, so in the past I have set a random password I do not know. If I have a real issue with a website that should not be blocked, then I actually have to wipe my PC and start over. It is worth the restriction in my opinion. Below is a link to the website if you wish to give it a try.

    http://kurupira.net/en/software_webfilter_block_websites_parentalcontrol_download.php

    I combine Kurupira with a service called OPENDNS. You can actually have your internet router configured to block Porn by changing its settings. This is perfect if you are a noob when it comes to that type of stuff. Yet again, if you have a friend you trust who has good IT skills, they can set you pc and router up to use open dns to block porn and prevent your access to change these settings.

    https://www.opendns.com/

    These have helped me in the past, I currently have my pc and router set up using these methods right now. Feel free to ask me anymore questions if you need help getting it sorted. These methods work best if you have that someone you can trust to configure your pc and router, because then you have no convenient ways to work around the restrictions.
     
  14. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    I use a free software called Kurupira. It works really well! The only challenge is the customer support, it is basically non existent. I suspect that this is the case because it is free. I believe it works on PC only and it is definitely not for mobile devices. If you have someone you trust and you feel comfortable speaking with them about your addiction, let them install the software and set the password. That way you do not know the password and if you need to have a change because the software is blocking a website it should not. That person can come make the change for you. This is like having you own customer support.

    I do not have any one who can do this, so in the past I have set a random password I do not know. If I have a real issue with a website that should not be blocked, then I actually have to wipe my PC and start over. It is worth the restriction in my opinion. Below is a link to the website if you wish to give it a try.

    http://kurupira.net/en/software_webfilter_block_websites_parentalcontrol_download.php

    I combine Kurupira with a service called OPENDNS. You can actually have your internet router configured to block Porn by changing its settings. This is perfect if you are a noob when it comes to that type of stuff. Yet again, if you have a friend you trust who has good IT skills, they can set you pc and router up to use open dns to block porn and prevent your access to change these settings.

    https://www.opendns.com/

    These have helped me in the past, I currently have my pc and router set up using these methods right now. Feel free to ask me anymore questions if you need help getting it sorted. These methods work best if you have that someone you can trust to configure your pc and router, because then you have no ways to go back and change the restrictions without help from the person. So they kind of act like an accountability partner also.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Ok, man thanks, I will use it, you know I am kind of ashamed of my addiction so I will set a random password too. I think that will be enough. Day 4 for me and not so hard yet!
     
  16. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Kurupira allows you to white list and black websites, I would advise pulling up the sites that are clean which you normally use to ensure it does not block them. If any of them are blocked then enter it in the allowed websites so you will still have access. I would take some time and fiddle around before setting the random password.

    Be sure to try the open dns also, this is a good way to stop your access to porn on all devices.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. nghia_haribol

    nghia_haribol Fapstronaut

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    Great advice my brother !
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. thoughts and emotions control behavoiur when im lonely i want to feel anything else thats when porn take the pain away but does it or does it just tranfer it to a differnt type of pain
     
  19. That's actually pretty true man, porn just brings another pain...
     
  20. Loneliness is not so bad, better stay with your books instead of go outside to a party and become an Hive-brain animal, everytime i exit with friends, not frequently, i understand why i can't follow them, and i feel boring so i stay lonely and learn. There will be a moment anyway, people here is not so good and friendly, not for me, and maybe not for you. Of course loneliness is not for everyone, not yet, just for some souls.

    Last, it seem to be a normal thing in this forum to be lonely cause of porn, this is another side effect we have to pay.
     
  21. I don't think loneliness and pornography is the same boat, but definitely they share it
     

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