Lonely and Lost

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by nomster2104, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. nomster2104

    nomster2104 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    Been on this amazing journey of NoFap for a month now. It does feel good, as in the sense of self accomplishment. There's been quite some intense changes and ongoing transformations going on right now.

    But I wanted to discuss about some factors that have been bugging me since some time now. Over this entire month, I've noticed that I'm more emotional than I was before. I am "feeling" more than before. After a heartbreaking break up, I took me a while to get up on my feet (2 months). But nowadays, I feel lonely, I feel like I need to have more people in my life. The problem is the fact that I'm an international university student studying computer engineering at the moment. And the studies are insanely hard, that I barely get time to have a huge social life. Dont get me wrong, I do have friends. But I kind of feel lonely in terms of expressing my feelings. I do feel like having a girlfriend, but where I stay, the odds are against me and it just makes the life more painful and hard.

    It's been 3 years and I haven't given up hope, yet I also feel like it should not be too difficult as I do see almost everyone in a relationship. I would like to be in a relationship where when I come back home, I dont have to sit alone in front of my laptop considering what am I doing with my life.

    The thing is that at this moment I'm vulnerable and am afraid of opening up to a new woman. But also I feel the desire to be with one.

    So for you guys out there, I wanted to know that when on this journey of NoFap, does this happen that you gain inner strength and feel good even after tonnes of bad past and ongoing troubles in life. I feel like since I've been always rejected by women, I have created a shield for myself that kinda prevents me from getting hurt, but then I still get hurt. Or is there a way that I dont "feel" the rejection too much???
     
  2. Ameson2015

    Ameson2015 Fapstronaut

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    You don't sound like you're in the right state to meet someone. I'm telling you, it's so common but such a horrible mistake, the mass of guys who are unhappy and think that a girlfriend is going to be the solution to that. That's a completely backwards way to get to where you want to be. It's all about self-improvement - eating well, exercising, nofap, having goals, spending your time productively. You need to build up your confidence to a point where you're satisfied and engaged with your life as a single man.

    We attract what we are, not what we want. It's scary how true it is, if your self esteem is low, you're unhappy with your life - you're going to end up with someone who is just the same. Then you'll have a co-dependant mess that prevents either of you from growing to get to a better place, and will drag you down long-term.

    You want to find someone with whom you can just be yourself. It takes a lot of work, but once you're happy with yourself, and approach life with confidence - you can get to a point where rejection is a positive thing. And desperation is a major turn-off for any kind of quality girl.

    I mean do you want to find someone you can actually connect with? Or just any girl that'll come along so you can use her to distract you from the actual issues that are holding you back?
     
    ICleansedMe and yzeew like this.
  3. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    Life is up and downs brother. You have to take risks in order to get any rewards! If you don't try you have a 0% chance of success. Head up! Action first then feelings later!!! Stay strong! Win!
     
  4. I like with what your saying, it makes a lot of sence, the long narrow road, just like any thing in life, quick fix does not work, we have to work for it, work for a relationship just like working for a house, or what ever.
     
  5. Ameson2015

    Ameson2015 Fapstronaut

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    Lol that's pretty mature. If you look at a relationship as something that's going to rescue you from bad times, you're doomed. That's a horrible attitude. A relationship makes you more of what you already are.
     
    zero01 likes this.
  6. Ameson2015

    Ameson2015 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm totally lost by your posts here. You're trying to be really vague and cryptic?
     
    zero01 likes this.

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