Lonely and unable to talk to attractive women.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TealKoala, May 12, 2018.

  1. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    If none of what he said applies than don’t take it personal you always take people’s advice with a grain of salt we are all trying to help each other on here no need to feel attacked it’s your choice to use this advice from others experiences and see if it is helpful to you
     
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  2. TealKoala

    TealKoala Fapstronaut

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    I value your opinion but I wanted to point out that I found that post harmful, it was not motivating or supportive and left me feeling less motivated and more depressed than before I had read it. While we are all trying to help each other I think it is important to point out when someones advice is being counter productive and to me that was.
     
    culion likes this.
  3. What has helped me feel more comfortable talking to men I am attracted to (as a fellow social anxiety sufferer) is that I try to stop immediately thinking they are better than me. I remember that I am a valuable worthy person too. I found out when I was younger that looks on their own without any other qualities make for a terrible partner.

    Once talking I assess if I like their personality. I've noticed a lot of very good looking men don't have the kind of personality I favour (warm, kind, wise, humble, gentle) so that tends to kill my attraction which helps me remember that just because someone is gorgeous physically, it doesn't mean they'd be the kind of partner I'd like.

    I think it would help if you could divide people (both men and women) up into 'humans I am interested in and would like to get to know more' and 'humans I am not so keen on so will probably avoid.' You'll have a bunch of both men and women in the first group you could then chat to at your hobbies or wherever it is you meet them and see if there is a girl in particular you like both for her appearance but also for her personality. I think the focus on the gender difference is what causes the fear and awkwardness. Just an idea anyway, taken from what helps me.
     
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  4. TealKoala

    TealKoala Fapstronaut

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    Thanks this is helpful advice, I look forward to trying it.
     
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  5. Remember to report back here how it goes! For some reason it is reminding me of Star Trek, where on the ships they had true equality and gender was irrelevant, if that is a helpful analogy (attractive women in the end are just humans like everyone else, they just happen to be in a pretty shell) ☺
     
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Well that's a shame.

    Hope you find what you're looking for.

    Good luck.
     
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  7. I really resonated with this. Thanks for the post, it’s exactly what I needed to be reminded of.
     
  8. culion

    culion Fapstronaut

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    What I regret when I was young was that I rejected girls because they were too fat or too skinny, which were very dumb decisions. Also it was because I'm shy too. If the attractive girl rejects you is ok, maybe you can try with the "less beautiful" girls. Who knows, maybe the sex with the girl with a few pounds can be great as the one with the attractive girl.
    I have been consuming prostitution for a year now, and I think it has helped me with my shyness and anxiety. I don't think I have overcome social anxiety, I'm still awkward in social interactions, but I feel less nervous while talking to women. The first sexual experiences with prostitutes made me very nervous, I had performance issues, I still have sometimes, but this experiences I think have gave me more self confidence.
    I haven't had free sex in my life, relationships are not my thing, not a romantic person. In my opinion, I think casual sex has two conditions: You can't have sex whenever you want, and you can't have sex with the girl that you want. Which has made me doubt about trying to have free sex. But if it happens I will accept even if the girl is not the hottest one.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018
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