Lonely, unconfident and confused

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by jukebbox, May 13, 2018.

  1. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

    19
    15
    3
    I just turned 24 few days ago. It has been 4 years since i am trying to quit PMO and sommetimes i got good streaks like a couple of 60 days and 120 days one time. First when I hit these streaks i was confident again, proud of myself but simple things like i s failing in a test and being rejected put me into a deeper hole than i was before because throwing away the results of my struggle. I mean life is not a candy-color sky everyday and the weakness and obsession about PMO simply makes it harder to deal with bitter experiences. I feel unconfident about approaching, having a deep and strong hold in me when it comes to girls. It takes me almost blood to give a try out even after looking at the mirror and seeing that i have a good appearance. The clock ticks, i still relapsing during these 4 years and the obsession seems to not cease or even leave me be a man. Worst thing is seeing other guys so confident doing this as an ordinary thing (because it is!) and i still better in memorizing some random scene i saw 10 years ago. Please guys gimme some advice!
     
  2. RyanBrata

    RyanBrata Fapstronaut

    14
    13
    3
    Well i think you have some great things done. But the story is still going and it will be a long story, and the wait is so worth it. Im still trying to get out of my problem too. But i recommend you to read this book. "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. This book helps me to understand very well how bad habit could be changed.
     
    jukebbox likes this.
  3. The book is really great I totally recommend it to you too!

    Despite that, I think you should try to figure life out in your own way. I dont really know much about you, but from your post, I think you might be the type who is bored way too much. It is not easy, I know. Try to find things in life that you admire, that you really like. I think you blame too much things on this nofap thing, it seems like you think everything in your life is in the wrong way because you cant quit porn.
    It might sound silly, (and I might get a lot of critic after writing this) but you shouldnt take nofap that serious.
    I took it really serious in the beginning and I had quite the same experience » that not quitting fapping means that my life is shit and I am a piece of garbage. But man I wasnt. I was still the same person after I relapsed, I just told myself that this is the end of the fucking world right now.. I might get to 100 days, relapse, than thought I am on day 1 again.. Technically I was, but my life and my goals didnt "jumped back" to day 1. My life continued and it was getting better every day after I relapsed or not.
    I heard on these forums that how cold showers have such a great benefits etc,etc. Than after some research I found that there is no scientific evidence that it have benefits. It also have the same benefits as hot showers. :D
    Dont get me wrong here, people who do cold showers might experience that they are more energetic, more friendly, can focus for a much longer time..but it is actually because they believe that these are the benefits of the cold shower and they immediately adapt it. I think somehow this is the same case with this nofap thing.

    I respect that people here have different goals here. Everybody (or I think everybody should) have different goals here. (I had erectile dysfunction, doing nofap cured it 100%) I might relapse every 2nd month of a year while doing nofap, but I know that I am still fucking awesome, and a relapse is not the end of the world. I am totally okay with it. What I mean with this whole section is that I respect people who want to block out fapping of their life totally, but I think (at least for me) it was too much of this pressure on the forums that quitting fapping is the only way to have a great life. Looking back to my life and seeing that back in the days I had 4 PMO daily, and now I have 4 in 6 months.. Man I am a beast.. and I know you are too! Just look at the whole picture!

    I hope this writing helps you a bit, if it doesnt than sorry for wasting your time. :)
     
    jukebbox likes this.
  4. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    481
    614
    93
  5. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

    19
    15
    3
    Yeah you just hit the spot. Yesterday I came with this thought that i failed mainly because i thoght without pmo life would be a bed of roses everyday. Thanks for the advice. These last days i medidated too much i know i feel some inner improve.
     
  6. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

    19
    15
    3
    Dude i thanks i did not have read this till now but now i get a muuuuch better vision of addiction. This is completely right! Porn is the symptom not the cause and big streaks alone do not count shit.
     
  7. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

    481
    614
    93
    Yes the article also taught me a lot.
    Just a word of caution, when I read that article for first time about 2 years ago on some other website, there was no recommendation for that book "The Slight Edge".
    So that part was added additionally. I didnt read that book so I dont know maybe the book is valid or maybe it is just some doggy marketing.

    Anyway I have also "The Power of Habit" on my reading list, actually I have it already on my shelf now, but somehow I always postpone reading it. What is the most valuable information that book gave you?
     
  8. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    1,105
    5,384
    143
    I highly recommend that book to anyone that wants to change their life. I use its lessons everyday.
     

Share This Page