Long Distance Affection

[Pastoress]

Hey there.

A secondary goal of kicking the sexual addiction for me has been to be in a healthy romantic relationship. Not too long after 90 days of no PMO I started talking with an acquaintance. (Small detail I did have 1 relapse right at the beginning.) That talking showed that we were both interested in each other and after 3 weeks we made it official.

We’re over 1,000 miles apart from each other. We have seen each other once a year during the summer for a few years now. Now we are planning some times to see each other before next summer...

Being so far apart though, we don’t get to touch. And I am finding that touch is about as important to my SO as it is to me—pretty important! We have expressed affection through words and emojis/stickers. We’ve shared a few selfies and have had phone calls and video chats. I just don’t want myself to be triggering myself and so I have a touch of reservation.

Mostly though I am super excited. The more I see my SO the more alluring he is to me. He was very sweet today. And he sent just the most fantastic selfie. I can hardly stop thinking about him. I feel like the most lucky woman.

 

[ClaudeDuval]

I hope things can progress for you, Im in a similar situation but its been a long time... at first you're happy and excited but then it can become depressing and dreadful because you fall in love with someone who you cannot see everyday, you cannot hug them, nothing... you'll get attached and you'll miss them more and more. Everyday you feel like theres a hole in your life... If things are serious, set up a goal to end up being together or it can become really rough and painful. Just a warning... LDR's can be agonizing & mentally draining.

 

[Pastoress]

I hope things can progress for you, Im in a similar situation but its been a long time... at first you're happy and excited but then it can become depressing and dreadful because you fall in love with someone who you cannot see everyday, you cannot hug them, nothing... you'll get attached and you'll miss them more and more. Everyday you feel like theres a hole in your life... If things are serious, set up a goal to end up being together or it can become really rough and painful. Just a warning... LDR's can be agonizing & mentally draining.

It is so good to hear from someone who has been through a similar situation. It sounds like you’ve had some heartache mixed in with yours.

Thank you for the advice.

I am quite enamored with this man. Our stories are lining up well with each other right now. He’s also sweetly affectionate, which is something I crave.

We are working toward meeting up at least twice before the New Year. That is probably all we will do, but it is far better than waiting until next summer. Since we weren’t together until after we parted ways we didn’t get a chance to share any touch. I don’t remember even hugging him or anything. It is nice to have those short term goals.

Long term? Either we keep dating long distance for long term or we break up or I move. Those are the basic options I can see. His kids should be able to get to both of their parents with ease. I don’t anticipate that their mom will want to move. There’s one state I keep thinking of but I don’t know why since it’s so far from all of us.

Anyway, I wouldn’t want to move except that we decide to get married. It’s an exciting thought, but I don’t know if I am ready. Then for moving I have to trust that work would open up for me, or that I could set up work where he is. That is not my typical style, but I think it could work. I don’t know?

For now it is one day at a time. Thank you for reminding me that having that end goal can help to keep the relationship full of life. We’ll see!

 

[ClaudeDuval]

It is so good to hear from someone who has been through a similar situation. It sounds like you’ve had some heartache mixed in with yours.

Thank you for the advice.

I am quite enamored with this man. Our stories are lining up well with each other right now. He’s also sweetly affectionate, which is something I crave.

We are working toward meeting up at least twice before the New Year. That is probably all we will do, but it is far better than waiting until next summer. Since we weren’t together until after we parted ways we didn’t get a chance to share any touch. I don’t remember even hugging him or anything. It is nice to have those short term goals.

Long term? Either we keep dating long distance for long term or we break up or I move. Those are the basic options I can see. His kids should be able to get to both of their parents with ease. I don’t anticipate that their mom will want to move. There’s one state I keep thinking of but I don’t know why since it’s so far from all of us.

Anyway, I wouldn’t want to move except that we decide to get married. It’s an exciting thought, but I don’t know if I am ready. Then for moving I have to trust that work would open up for me, or that I could set up work where he is. That is not my typical style, but I think it could work. I don’t know?

For now it is one day at a time. Thank you for reminding me that having that end goal can help to keep the relationship full of life. We’ll see!

Its been a long ride but thankfully we'll be living together by the end of the year. It takes a special kind of person to commit to a LDR, some people just cant handle it. But yes, if you want it to last make some goals and one step at a time... my gf will be moving here and its going to be temporarily chaotic but in the end its worth it for a potential life partner. We met on YT of all places so I fell in love with her before I knew what she looked like... our friendship was based on all personality. Lol how did you two meet? PS wish you the best of luck

 

[Pastoress]

Its been a long ride but thankfully we'll be living together by the end of the year. It takes a special kind of person to commit to a LDR, some people just cant handle it. But yes, if you want it to last make some goals and one step at a time... my gf will be moving here and its going to be temporarily chaotic but in the end its worth it for a potential life partner. We met on YT of all places so I fell in love with her before I knew what she looked like... our friendship was based on all personality. Lol how did you two meet? PS wish you the best of luck

Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

My boyfriend and I met at a church camp. It’s every summer for a week. I’ve enjoyed getting to know him in a community context. We’ve been able to grow close through digital communication. At first we were just messaging and then we added in calls. That seems to have helped us to be more intimate. I had never before considering ldr as having the potential to be more intimate, but this one is working that way.