Long Distance Reboot & ED

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by UhhhICanExplain, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. UhhhICanExplain

    UhhhICanExplain New Fapstronaut

    Okay quickly I need to provide some background info on my situation.

    I've been emotionally invested in this girl who lives across the US and I have never met her in person (we webcam and etc).

    When time came, we finally met in person and we had 5 days and 4 nights to spend with one another.

    I'm 21, and as far as I remember I have been watching porn since 12 and honestly masturbating on average 1-2 times a day.

    Mind you I am a virgin going into this.

    When me and my girlfriend finally met and let's just say when time came for sex/oral I had trouble keeping it up.

    Oral was good and I got hard but failed to keep it going properly. Everything just felt so different from my trusty right hand. By the time I got a condom on, I got too soft to work with anything.

    Sadly, we tried for 4 nights to have sex and lose both our virginities but failed to do so.

    It could be a plethora of reasons why I have this ED, but here's what I'm thinking:
    • My size is not so... big, and I am not as confident with the size and so many thoughts circulate through my mind that my anxiety shoots off the roof. I'm thinking this connects with porn, since I usually see someone else's big schlong on screen and then I compare it with my own.
    • Obviously PORN and MASTURBATING on average 2 times a day for about 9 years of my life has taken a desensitizing effect on me.
    In our long distance relationship obviously sex is not the most important factor. But it's a huge part of it.

    Since the visit a month ago I've quit all porn. But not masturbation. I usually only masterbate to the thought of my girlfriend, or pictures of her. (With her knowledge, of course). We communicate well and we also tend to masturbate together over the phone or even camera.

    For NoFap, I've already quitted porn, and masturbate only once or twice a week usually over the phone with my girlfriend, but since I am new my question is: Is it more important to just stop masturbating all together?

    She's coming to visit me in May, (3 months from now) and I definately prefer to not get this ED in the way of really having a good time. She already knows my situation, so should I just do a full scale reboot until she visits?

    Also, if anything, if 3 months is not enough time, could I use a vasodilator pill so I can rebuild my confidence in bed, because it's definately tooken a big hit since I couldn't get it hard. Performance anxiety perhaps?

    I am a true nooby fapstronaut and I appreciate any advice and help with my Porn Enduced ED.
  2. Welcome to the community. You likely had a few things working against you when she was there. Being your first time, nerves, anxiety and worry can affect performance until you are but more comfortable. Also while still masturbating your sensitivity is decreased.
    You have this time now before she returns, use it to stay away from PMO all together. It will not be easy but you can do it.
    Read here, learn and start making your plan.
    Don't worry about your size, you're comparing yourself to those hired for a job based largely on their size.
    When it she does arrive spend time on intimacy and let things flow naturally.
    You can do this.
    UhhhICanExplain likes this.

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