Long distance Relationships

Mixtec · May 10, 2017

I've always been interested in how they work out. Back in high school days I dated a female who lived a town away from me. Went to separate schools and once we ended things it felt good not ever seeing her again lol.
Now having been involved in church missions trips and christian music in the last several years I have had the opportunity to connect and know more people than I could've ever had on my own. Anyways there's a particular friend who happens to be a girl who lives across the USA, in California, that I've always talked to alot. Obviously I know its almost impossible since I live in the Eastcoast but I've always thought/wondered that what if I tried and would it work? She's single and a devoted christian as I've known her for a few years now. I know I might get clowned on and maybe made fun of but it's just one of those things that makes you curious. I mean if I can't or couldn't keep a girl locally than what makes me think I could do it with distance.?

Anyways anybody ever been in a long distance relationship? How did it work out? Did you end regretting it? Did it ever become an actual serious relationship that led to marriage?

Lampard21 · May 12, 2017

Man, you are lucky. I've tried several times to even have contact with a foreign girl, but I fell short badly (I scared a foreign girl with the way I speaked and bahaved with her, actually. LOL. She never texted me back ever again. but I'm not that bad).

You have this great opportunity, so go for it!

Teddy6677 · May 12, 2017

Give it a go bro and see how things take shape. Im dating a girl now that lives far away due to uni but we like each other so we make it work! It involves a lot of patience and trust but its worth it!! Let us know how you get on! Good luck!!

Mixtec · May 12, 2017

DrHeidarzadeH said: ↑

Man, you are lucky. I've tried several times to even have contact with a foreign girl, but I fell short badly (I scared a foreign girl with the way I speaked and bahaved with her, actually. LOL. She never texted me back ever again. but I'm not that bad).

You have this great opportunity, so go for it!
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Sorry for the disappointment man! Yeah sometimes women of a different culture think and view men differently and expect them to be a certain way. But their loss because your experiences and views, although not the same as theirs, only serve to make an even more interesting relationship

Thanks for the encouragement!

Mixtec · May 12, 2017

Teddy6677 said: ↑

Give it a go bro and see how things take shape. Im dating a girl now that lives far away due to uni but we like each other so we make it work! It involves a lot of patience and trust but its worth it!! Let us know how you get on! Good luck!!
Click to expand...

Wow! Your kind of story is what has me interested in pursuing her. She asked for my cellphone number and we have been texting back and forth for about 3 weeks now. I know it's kind of hard but I've known her for quite sometime online but just never pursued anything further because I was always so negative. How do you guys set up time to see/talk to each other? My issue is our time difference...she is 3 hours backwards from my timezone. Im super excited how this plays out...thanks for the kind words!

Uke · May 16, 2017

Hey Mixtec!

Give it a try, and see what comes from it. I'm in one, for 2 years now. I'm not gonna lie, it's tough emotionally, and it takes a toll on you. After the initial rainbow period, through which the rush and excitement will carry you, making you think nothing is impossible, things will settle down, and that's when it gets tough.

As the bond between you guys gets stronger, so is your desire to be physically together more frequent. At this point, I think that if one cannot picture himself with the woman on longterm, and do not discuss a possible future together, things will break sooner or later. Because at the end of the day, the endgame is to be in one place in the future, right? At least for us.

There's a few points to pay attention to in my experience:

Lust plays a big part. It's very draining to not have physical support while having an emotional bond. I have a relatively easy time making connections and vibing with women, and as time goes, you just get thoughts and what ifs. From both parts. So I have to limit the level of connection I make with other women, otherwise I set myself up for unnecessary temptations.

When to meet. We have a schedule in which we see each other in live. Because I think without knowing when you are going to see each other next, there will be too much uncertainty and doubt.

Trust. Such a cliché. But without trust, there will be too many headaches, especially if your girl is attractive. Guys will attempt to hit on her daily. Believe me, if I wouldn't trust her, I would have gone crazy hearing the stories she shares, and agonizing over it. So pay attention to her if you do meet up, and see if she is someone you can trust.

That's pretty much my experience. It's not easy, but we are making it work. I hope this gave you some pointers. Best of luck with the girl!

Lampard21 · May 17, 2017

Salt said: ↑

Hey Mixtec!

Give it a try, and see what comes from it. I'm in one, for 2 years now. I'm not gonna lie, it's tough emotionally, and it takes a toll on you. After the initial rainbow period, through which the rush and excitement will carry you, making you think nothing is impossible, things will settle down, and that's when it gets tough.

As the bond between you guys gets stronger, so is your desire to be physically together more frequent. At this point, I think that if one cannot picture himself with the woman on longterm, and do not discuss a possible future together, things will break sooner or later. Because at the end of the day, the endgame is to be in one place in the future, right? At least for us.

There's a few points to pay attention to in my experience:

Lust plays a big part. It's very draining to not have physical support while having an emotional bond. I have a relatively easy time making connections and vibing with women, and as time goes, you just get thoughts and what ifs. From both parts. So I have to limit the level of connection I make with other women, otherwise I set myself up for unnecessary temptations.

When to meet. We have a schedule in which we see each other in live. Because I think without knowing when you are going to see each other next, there will be too much uncertainty and doubt.

Trust. Such a cliché. But without trust, there will be too many headaches, especially if your girl is attractive. Guys will attempt to hit on her daily. Believe me, if I wouldn't trust her, I would have gone crazy hearing the stories she shares, and agonizing over it. So pay attention to her if you do meet up, and see if she is someone you can trust.

That's pretty much my experience. It's not easy, but we are making it work. I hope this gave you some pointers. Best of luck with the girl!
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nice tips! I have to remember and use these points in my feature attempts! thanks man!

Mixtec · May 17, 2017

Well things went sour...kind of quick. I brought it up to her. As in I told her I would like to go visit her for the summer and take her out. She just replied "maybe" with a winky emoji. I never replied back and she didn't either. So I waited for about a week to text her back and she says she's busy with friends.

Guess it was just too good to be true. Maybe more of a "emotional" connection than physical until she realized stuff was about to get real. Maybe she just needed someone to make her feel good and wanted while she kept a safe distance. Without the risks of heart break and real life turbulence that comes with a relationship.

I don't know wtf is wrong with me anymore? Every single girl I've tried to be with these last few years always ends up in sucha screw up situation. They're all either engaged and about to be married or already married. I'm watching these girls, that I could've should've been with and starting a life together, live their lives without me. What the eff did I do to be left alone? Ive tried to live my life doing the right and good things except my addiction to porn. This stuff just doesn't make sense...

croix · May 21, 2017

Mixtec said: ↑

I've always been interested in how they work out. Back in high school days I dated a female who lived a town away from me. Went to separate schools and once we ended things it felt good not ever seeing her again lol.
Now having been involved in church missions trips and christian music in the last several years I have had the opportunity to connect and know more people than I could've ever had on my own. Anyways there's a particular friend who happens to be a girl who lives across the USA, in California, that I've always talked to alot. Obviously I know its almost impossible since I live in the Eastcoast but I've always thought/wondered that what if I tried and would it work? She's single and a devoted christian as I've known her for a few years now. I know I might get clowned on and maybe made fun of but it's just one of those things that makes you curious. I mean if I can't or couldn't keep a girl locally than what makes me think I could do it with distance.?

Anyways anybody ever been in a long distance relationship? How did it work out? Did you end regretting it? Did it ever become an actual serious relationship that led to marriage?
Click to expand...

Ive been in a long distance relationship for almost ten years... we see each other about once every three to four weeks... we get along great when we see each other but I will say that it has been frustrating and leads to loniness and of course distractions that can lead to thoughts of meeting someone local. My advice would be to stay local. As much as I care for my girlfriend... it's lonely and adds to the pressure on staying off porn etc.

Mixtec · May 22, 2017

croix said: ↑

Ive been in a long distance relationship for almost ten years... we see each other about once every three to four weeks... we get along great when we see each other but I will say that it has been frustrating and leads to loniness and of course distractions that can lead to thoughts of meeting someone local. My advice would be to stay local. As much as I care for my girlfriend... it's lonely and adds to the pressure on staying off porn etc.
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Wow 10 years?! That's crazy man. How did you guys meet, if you don't mind me asking?

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