Yeah it's very hard to accept the reality of the situation. I still can’t believe what I did. I really hope we find peace. It sucks when your realize how avoidable this life altering horrible decision was. I hope god gives us peace.
It seems like we both are harping on 2 of the same things.
I was thinking the exact same thoughts of "i cant believe i actually did that" and one of the more agonizing thought of "how easy it was to avoid this".
2 comforting thoughts are i could of did it earlier, and i got into it not knowing what i was fully getting into and it happened so fast. Theres really nothing one can do about that. Thats naivity at its finest.
I saw one guy on youtube make a split decision of joking around on a train that caued him to electrocute 70% of his body, when i was in school taking drivers ed a girl serving a prison sentence had to come give a speech about how she made the decision to check a stain on her shirt after work and killed an oncoming biker.
One of my favorite preachers i would listen to gave his testimony and i was shocked, when he was younger he got a girl pregnant and thought his life was ruined then made a further mistake, he got an abortion.
I bet he had thoughts of i wish i used a condom, then i wish i never had the abortion. All of this because of my selfish desire for sex.
Kids at my school died from drunk driving.
One person i knew of took a video of 2 students doing something wrong at school and long story short he caught a criminal case. (Read between the lines)
My relative knew someone who urinated on public grounds and had to register as a sex offender.
People in improvished areas under stressful situations do things such as commit robbery in their eyes with little to no other options to feed their family and end up serving time and registering as felons, a lot of families have lost young men and women some not even the age of 20 yet due to this kind activity and violence.
Do you know how many ive heard of who regret those decisions? I understand their situation and feel if they had better guidance they wouldve done better.
Famous person who just Died DMX when he was a kid was given a blunt laced with hardcore drugs and was addicted ever since, he just lost his life untimely due to that addiction. Some people feel like they were never even given a shot at life.
My best friend growing up's sister was always hooked on meth and hard drugs and it hurt me to see how it effected him. She also had multiple abortions (if i recall that part correctly) and i knew he grew up hard and sensetive raised by an abusive mother and bad step dad. I didnt know the extent of it at the time, but i was always a good friend to him to comfort him.
Some of these situations happen by accident, some by choice. But the regret and remorse you feel lets you know youre not heartless.
I know this hurts because we knew better and did wrong. I thought about how this would hurt my family, thankfully they didnt have to know. Thankfully i was single and it didnt cost me my family or hurt a significant other.
All im saying is it just happened so fast, i understand the feeling. Thats the part that sucks. Life can change in the blink of an eye. People get cancer, people do stupid things that cost them everything, people get caught up in drugs.
I know the thing you did feels embarassing and way below your standards.
I get that, and i feel the same way.
People sometimes turn to humor to handle that, but i take it a little to serious to go that route
Thats why PMO,Movies, and media are so dangerous. They never betray the harsh cold reality of actually DOING these things. The image NEVER EVER can capture the full brunt of reality. I heard stories of heroin addicts describe their life beforehand and my goodness its so sad. They had perfect clean cut lives. Thinking theyd never touch heroin. When the opportunity finally came they thought "just once" and theyll get by it. That one decision changes the course of their life forever.
Just know weve all messed up somehow and we all need forgiveness.
Take it a step at a time and i think youll be okay.
Its not what we want, but we still have a lot to be thankful for.
I think inspiration can be taken by the 2 others on the thread who went through similar experiences and both testified that they fully overcomed the negative feelings behind it
