Longing for love!

It's not enough to see an attractive woman and ask her out with a mindset of "let's see if we do like each other after a date or two". Only ask out that woman who gives you the feeling that you would like to marry her, have children with her (if you want to) and be with her for the rest of your days. If you can say "yes" to these questions and feel sincere about it, I think the woman won't reject you. You don't have to know her well to do that. You also don't have to know (can't know) if it will happen. It may be enough to go from a first impression. What I'm saying is: Be picky! Choose your girl carefully! She will feel whether or not she is special to you, and if she isn't (if you just want to kiss her because she's turning you on), yeah, why should she go out with you?

 

Trust me dude... It's just part of your life...Right girl will come to you at the right time..
Until then you are just a LONE WOLF!

 

Dude, I have the same story. But I also would say I am more lonely, I don't have family connection and basically almost no friends. Alcohol was probably my worst addiction but it always went very tight with my sex and love addiction. When I got sober in AA more than 2 years ago I was scared. Like fck, how I will get laid again? I started to act out with porn more, trying to find hookups online and going to massage parlors. Only to discover that I have this addiction too.

Well this is a voice of fear here.. Oh, I won't to ask her, because there is possibility that she will reject me, so I won't even try and stay in a comfort zone. But nothing happening in a comfort zone. Yes, you aren't being rejected. But guess what you are still alone too.

But anyway, I can give the same advise for myself. I am so scared to ask any girl out so I was hiding in online world cause it takes nothing to talk to girls there. But I had to quit it.

And look, you had lots of sex before. It means women actually like you! Probably you were just acting more confident under the influence, at least it's totally true about me. So you can be that men, just you have to smash your fear (so am I).

But man, you are still young and have most of your life in front of you! You really believe that you won't meet a right girl sooner or later? I think chances are that you will is much higher! Especially if you are here it means you trying to be better and taking actions!
You've been single for a while, I know your pain bro. But the best we can do, it's keep working on ourselves and don't giving up.

Haha we are so similar in a way so I felt that I wrote this reply message for myself as well!

 

That's strange, a few hours ago I had a little "realization", if that's a right word..
I never had a girlfriend and I often suffer loneliness, and don't go out.. but somehow this thought came to me: instead of focusing on my problems, my longings, my depression, etc... maybe all this anxiety comes instead from the girls also, because probably they might sometimes feel the same way as I do... Maybe I can see the longing for love deeply hidden in the glances of the other people, behind their frozen smiles. Maybe all the girls who didn't call back did that also because they felt insecure, or because they have been already hurt by other guys and do not want to repeat the experience.

Since I've had this thought I've never felt anxious over finding anybody. And I feel somewhat a bit of tenderness or at least can understand the place where most (if not all) the girls/people I met really come from: the need to be loved, which may be covered under false smiles, overworking, aggressiveness, anger or shyness.

Don't know if this may help you, I hope humanity comes back together after so many ages of complete alienation and isolation from each other, usually even under the same roofs.

 

If u r lookin 4 a way 2 obtain skills that r needed in order 2 pick up girls then check out Todd Valentine on utube. Also, whenever u c a girl u like just go at it, once u r fine w/ d fact that u may get rejected but try ur luck anyway then it'll b easier but the point still is that u must hit on every girl u like until u find d 1 ur lookin 4. If u won't hit on ur possible future SO then why would she should ? In most cases they won't come 2 u, so u should come 2 'em & get 'em.

 

Wise words! I wish I had balls years ago! I was so damn shy when I was younger. I was the worst thing you can be as a guy - NICE!!!

 

Now that sounds like a really pretty good idea

You don't need to be the best, there is no competition
It's enough to be a loving, caring, committing, reliable person.

Did you say above you want to be the best boyfriend? Something does not match here ...

That's part of life. Rejection hurts, but you learn from it.
Therefore be thankful for any nice moment you experience and any feedback you get.
Also, better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.


My advice in general:
First, focus on your own goals. For a while, put all your searching away. It's very important that you become stable and that you know what you want.
With your goals in mind, you will grow and you will automatically meet a lot of interesting people.

And when you know what you want and when you also do it (i.e. not just talking), you also become an interesting person for others and for women of course.

I promise, you will meet the right woman when you just rely on your inner self.
By age 28, I did so, I gave up my old friends and went on with my very own things.
A half year later, I met her. It "clicked". 5 months later, we were a couple - it went on for 7 years.