Looking for a small group of APs for a 365 day challenge. All or nothing!

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Abstainer101, Feb 2, 2019.

  1. VictoryorDeath

    VictoryorDeath Fapstronaut

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    Hey I was wondering if I could join the group, I'm really motivated to make a change and I think having a group to keep each other on track is a great idea
     
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  2. DavidAaronson

    DavidAaronson New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys i would really like to join the group. I feel like Accountabilty is the missing part in my Recovery.
     
    Abstainer101 likes this.
  3. hey there.
    I have to take some days - maybe weeks - off. Someonelse can grab my place in this group.
    thanks for your support!
    namaste
     
  4. teochewoliver

    teochewoliver Fapstronaut

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    I really dig your name haha
     
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  5. B12rent

    B12rent Fapstronaut

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    1) For me this time, I think it originated as a story on snapchat...nothing blatant but a high school crush posted a risque photo, that I think probably started it....so maybe I need to uninstall that for at least a week or so. Then later it was a pop up ad that triggered me right before I fully relapsed.
    2)This time, and actually most of the recent relapses, have been the excuse of...I'll just check this one thing to see if there's anything new on or not, then I'll quit right away...but I never do. So maybe not so much of an excuse but an attempt to rationalize my behavior. So I need to be adamant about a Zero tolerance policy.
    3)this one is pretty much a list of everything that is out there that I could have. But I most would probably be a girlfriend or someone to share life with I guess.
    4) I haven't done rule 1 everytime, mainly because I've been able to come up with an excuse to justify not...so maybe I need to know that's the consequence of an urge no matter what, no matter where. I have upped my meditation time which I am glad I have. As far as hobbies go, I have started to try and learn piano, and if I dont do that I am making sure I read a chapter or two of a novel. I need to be better at talking through urges here and feelings that come up.
    5)I dont know the answer to this one at all, but I am definitely open to suggestions. Self discipline is something I need help with.
    6) Definitely the end goal is 365 clean, and I hope that that leads to never looking at Porn another day in my life. No good comes from it and it is a direct contradiction to my beliefs.

    Thanks for asking these questions...when I first read them I kinda dismissed it and figured well I know I relapsed and I wont do it again...but I feel like taking the time to answer them and think on it a little bit has helped. It has been therapeutic to write the answers out as well.
     
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  6. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the group VictoryorDeath . Please make sure you have read the rules and realized that this is a serious 365 days challenge!
    Post your reasons about why NoFap is so important to you and why do you think you will manage to stay clean for 365 days.
     
    VictoryorDeath likes this.
  7. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the group DavidAaronson . Please make sure you have read the rules and realized that this is a serious 365 days challenge!
    Post your reasons about why NoFap is so important to you and why do you think you will manage to stay clean for 365 days.
     
  8. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Brilliant. Well done for taking time to sit and reflect.
    Realize you are in a 365 day challenge! Maybe mark a date on calendar so that you can fap after 365 days are over.
    I would also say maybe take some time to go out and network with people so you can find that girl who can overcome that need.
     
    B12rent likes this.
  9. VictoryorDeath

    VictoryorDeath Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is important to me because I need to take control of my life and stop letting desires and urges control my life. I'm just ready to stop wasting time and achieve my goals and I'm positive nofap can help me. And I know that this time will be different because of this accountability group and because I've taken lots precautions against a relapse.
     
    Starklander likes this.
  10. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    My name is fredisthebes and I pledge to be PM free for the next 365 days starting today (Tuesday 12th February 2019).

    Reasons and motivations:
    1. I owe it to my wife and future child to be dedicated to my wife sexually and to be in control of my urges.
    2. I am motivated and dedicated to my goals each day, apart from internet addiction and PM. They are standing in the way of my success in music, education, life.
    3. I am morally opposed to the industry and do not wish to support it.
     
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  11. Starklander

    Starklander Fapstronaut

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    I would typically Fap right before bed, in the shower, and especially in the morning. To address at night, I have started to journal and read before hand. This helps get my mind elsewhere, as well as make myself generally tired.

    I don't know what to do for the shower. I have been just getting through it without a coping mechanism. I could maybe start taking cold showers, but since it is winter that just sounds terrible to me.

    For the mornings, I have been setting an alarm and making sure to get up the first time. I make sure to then make some hot tea and read, so as to have something else to look forward to besides Faping.

    Two days in, and I feel pretty great. My energy and motivation are up, and my resting mood just seems to be a little better. I am, however, finding that temptation occurs more and more frequently. Every day is a battle!
     
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  12. Belkin

    Belkin Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I just hit 1 week. I think this is the longest I've gone without faping for years. Thanks for all the support!
     
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  13. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Well done buddy! A tip for cold showers and to make them happen. Try this: Start with a warm shower for 5 minutes and warm up your body, then suddenly turn the nozzle from warm to full cold. You will notice its not as bad as you thought since the body is not good at identifying extreme temperatures, warm to cold is much easier than cold from the start.
    Try this and let me know how it went!
     
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  14. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Well Done buddy! We are in this together. Lets nail this and achieve some real life goals!
     
    Belkin likes this.
  15. teochewoliver

    teochewoliver Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @Abstainer101 for thinking forwards for us haha
    I'm on Day 3, approaching Day 4 now so I think I'm back on track. Now I'm ready for my long-due self-reflection.
    1) I think a mixture of boredom and sheer habit made me relapse. As many did, I usually PMO in bed, right before going to sleep.
    2) I honestly don't know, at this point my willpower was just completely eroded. But part of it was surely, the fact that I was proud of 1 straight week without PMO-ing, that I wanted to reward myself as stupid as it sounds haha
    3) I think I'm already doing good in terms of sport and health. However, I wish to gain more time by abstaining PMO for my hobbies and studies. I think a fuck buddy is more suited for me rn, as I still don't have enough time to commit to a serious relationship (full-time student, part-time worker).
    4) Yes, I have actually been following the rules of this group apart from the cold showers, when I get urges at night (cause then I wouldn't be able to sleep), or several times a day (which would require me to have more than 5 cold showers a day :D ).
    5) I can only think of prevention right now, as I already meditate and workout daily and that still didn't help me. What I mean by this is, I need to get myself out of the house into situations where I simply cannot PMO, more often.
    6) I hope to be able to quit Porn and Masturbation forever, but 365 seems like a more reasonable goal at first. I wanna do this, to increase my willpower, to learn more about myself and create healthier habits in the process.This may sound cheesy, but I want to be the best possible version of myself. I also want to free up the huge chunk of time I've usually spent PMO'ing. I've wasted enough time in the last 10 years already...

    That's it from me for today I hope y'all are holding up fine for the rest of this week! :)
     
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  16. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Well done for reflecting on this. I guess you need to think more about how you will evolve during the 365 days of NoFap and what will it look like at the end. For me its retaining the power I lose from Porn and Masturbation and attracting high quality sexual partners in my life.
     
  17. B12rent

    B12rent Fapstronaut

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    I've had a few urges already this morning...I am kinda worried that I might relapse today...I hit the snooze button this morning and in the past that has seemed to have a direct correlation with relapsing. I've read a few posts on the nofap reddit page which has helped.
     
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  18. B12rent

    B12rent Fapstronaut

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    And it did happen again...I think in the back of my head maybe I knew I had an excuse the moment I hit snooze. I dont know if I'm ready for a 365 day challenge, I want to be. But I just can't seem to get anything longer than a week lately. Its frustrating, probably need to get rid of my smartphone and go back to a flip phone.
     
  19. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    You need to answer why do you want to quit porn? Do you just want to quit porn or fap or both and why?
    Until you have solid reasons, its harder to just quit based upon you are tired of watching it.
     
  20. Abstainer101

    Abstainer101 Fapstronaut

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    Its my 13th Day and last night I had some solid urges as I was watching some prank videos on Youtube, but I suddenly realized where its coming from, so I noticed it and backed off from the internet completely. I was feeling lonely, bored and anxious and this is usually the state I am in when I relapse. I am starting to recognise it more and more. Remember, its takes 66 days to build a habit. After the 66 days, it will be very unnatural for me to look at porn and a thousand questions will pop into my head before I choose to actually watch it. Previously I did abstain for 3 months but I was still fapping without porn. Now its probably the longest ever I have gone without fapping and I am super proud of it, because fapping is basically fooling my brain into believing that I have a girl in my life who I can fuck, but its all just imagination! Its probably thats why I feel so guilty and drained after doing it, coz I have been fooling myself all my life into imagining that I have a girl when infact I am fucking my hand.

    How are you handling your urges and how many of you have relapsed?
    Keep sharing your insights. We are all here to improve and learn from each other!
     

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