Looking for Rewiring Advice on +120 days

-Heavy addiction since 9/10 years old currently 23 years old

-I have been reading that in my cases real recovery could mean up to 2 years of no PMO

-After 180 days of no PMO had a gf , experienced PE the first few times, then PIED which was getting better each time, then we broke up because of her family and I relapsed.

My question is would now be ok to get into a relationship with a partner, explain to them my situation and maybe look into something like Karezza / or just getting my brain used to someone real again without O , or is it too early and so it may be detrimental to my recovery process?

My number one goal is to fix my PIED, however I also don't just want to turn into a sex addict , and just transfer the addiction to something different.

I want to carry on building my healthy habits, carry on cutting out toxic thinking patterns, and carry on changing my perspective , but I also don't want to be slowing down my rewiring process by completely isolating myself from relationships with women.

Any advice is welcome.
Thanks for taking the time to read.

 

Assuming I can say I have gone through the reboot stage with this streak, then from what I've read and based on experience I would have to rewire first slowly with a girl. I don't think just trying to have sex right now straight away with a girl would work for me. For example in my previous relationship the first few times we just cuddled / kissed I experienced PE. Then I struggled with PIED , I would get hard while we make out, but as soon as I was about to penetrate I would go soft again, this also happened when trying to change positions. Eventually I would say after about 4 or 5 attempts, I was able to sustain an erection but would finish within the first 30 seconds to a minute. During these times I did make her O with oral and fingering. Then the last time we hooked up right before we had to break up , was the best one, it was sudden, I was relaxed but I just had this confidence in me, it went on for a few minutes , only one position and no condom every time. This was also something that was a big problem I could never stay hard with a condom on, as soon as the condom went on my erection went off. I was lucky because my gf decided to go on the pill for me, so that wasn't a barrier anymore (no pun intended). But when dating a new girl now I would have to wear a condom and I just don't know if I would be able to sustain any sort of erection, so not sure how to go about things. I can definitely see where you are coming from about not telling them about PMO or PIED but if it does occur then I just don't know what I would say.

To be honest I guess I'm a bit too harsh on myself, it's rare that I do something and think "well done me" , or "that's good enough", but I think this negative thinking is something I'm trying to work on. Like my mind loves to focus on negative memories or embarrassing memories from the past and then jump to the conclusion that my life sucks, and it's this sort of thinking that isolates me from my friends etc but I've started noticing these patterns more and more and challenging them.

I have overcome a lot in my life so far, and have worked hard to achieve good results during my education. But I don't give myself credit for any of those things, yet I seem to hate myself for not having the genetics for a large penis like you said, it's weird how I can be this stupid it really baffles me. But like you said I need to give myself more credit for what I've been able to do so far that has been in my control and derive my confidence from that rather then from something like genes that I was just born with. Thank you for that insight.