I am so sick of allowing myself to fall to porn. Everytime I tell myself I won't let it get me this time, but then I act as though it's the best decision I ever made, then I'm left feeling like garbage. I thank God that I still feel healthy shame over this, even though it hurts, it helps me to want to change. It is by the grace of God that I haven't accepted PMO as a normal way of life. I have been blessed enough to find Celebrate Recovery groups in my area, a place that introduced me to people who really care and one person in particular who is using an app called Covenant Eyes. I used to think this kind of thing was goofy, but now I realize by the grace of God that accountability is the best combatant for porn recovery, I highly recommend that anyone look into it, it works best on Android platforms. I have begun to be aquanted with the church where the Celebrate Recovery meetings are held and I am quickly learning that community is the true killer of addiction. People who care, people who will remind you what God says about you. I have begun to be able to imagine a future. I don't know how all the pieces will fit and how it will all go but I'm learning to trust God. I couldn't of imagined all that God has in store for me... There really is only one way that I can defeat this thing, not by might nor by power but by God's Spirit. I do worry, I worry that Covenant Eyes won't work now because I have already abused it, unistalled it to look at porn, yet my AP knows everytime I do. Do I really want to keep having to "let him down"? No, especially now that I'm developing a relationship with the church and with real people. I certainly don't want to let people down. And now, somebody knows, I'm not alone. If I want to watch, I have to either lie about it and at this point it's pretty obvious, or be honest to someone about my fall, someone who wants to help. Just yesterday my main AP asked me to call him or text when the urges start, that way he can help me fend off the flesh. I thank God for that line of defense, accountability as well as support. I am still looking to add more APs(Accountability Partners) to my Covenant Eyes account. I'm looking for only fellow Brothers in Christ. If anyone reading this is interested then please message me. I am looking for those who are victorious in their own journey, however, if a fellow Christian is looking perhaps for their own AP or is interested in learning more about Covenant Eyes, then you can message me as well. APs are more like friends than anything else, friends that hold each other accountable, in Love. I thank God for this community here that I know so little about, I hope and plan to make good use of it. Originally when I found out about this site, I was living in the shadows and thinking ungodly, with ungodly plans. I was taking God's grace in vain and paying for it dearly, thank God I was miserable! Miserable enough to want God's help! I used to think basically like any other 20 something...And just like the Bible says, even the good things that the wicked imagine to do are evil...That was me. But God relentlessly pursued me. I know I'm not any better than anyone else but I need help like anyone else. I know that it is by grace through faith that I have been saved. I am the chiefest of all sinners and I pray that anyone on here who thinks it's too late for them would accept God's grace and provisions. I know life doesn't always make sense but God is bigger than us... His ways are not our ways. Thank you everyone on here for your contributions to this helpful forum. God deserves all the glory! God Bless.