Loose erection when putting a condom

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Second_chance, May 24, 2017.

  1. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    What happens to me is that I fapped to much. And Im dating also. So when it comes to sex i notice a couple of issues appeared. I loose my erection when putting a Condom. I can't penetrated her if I don't have the condom but every time I try to put or she does I think I get nervous and loose it. It frustrating. I think I developed I fear to that.
    I wanna know if something like that happened to you and if you think it's bacause of Porn?
     
    NewManV and JakReloaded like this.
  2. KfasDog

    KfasDog Fapstronaut

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    It has happened to me many times. I just tell her it's because I'm allergic to latex (which actually may be the case). Just try rebooting for a few weeks and see what happens.

    That's what I'm doing. Next time I have sex I'm gonna update you on my results, lol.
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  3. IMHO, it is too early to be trying to have sex. Ideally, you need to sort out your addiction first. On the other hand some can experience performance anxiety when they are getting ready for the main event and putting a rubber on is the signal for it.
     
    NewManV likes this.
  4. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your answers, I'll see how this goes. I know it could be anxiety, but also think could be that I don't have a continuous stimuli and don't get hard as it should be because of porn. I will try to go with elimanting porn from the equation
     
    noonoon likes this.
  5. Yep, it's anxiety. I keep having the same problem as you, what I tried to do is masturbating with a condom on and lube, so i get used to it. I think that works, but that was like a month ago, no i join the nofap community, I think quiting PMO can help a lot in this cases, I'll let you know how is it going, but that will be in a few months I guess as I just started 6 days ago.
     
  6. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    Yes totally. Me too I just came from a relapse 4 days ago. we should keep in touch to see how we fix this! I know we can beat it! :)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Sure! I'm on my day 10, i haven't masturbated at all and it's going well, i had sex last Tuesday, but I'm not gonna quit sex wtf haha I'm like in flatline but when i'm horny i feel it much intense, even I had blue balls two days ago haha
     
  8. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome! You had any trouble to perform this time? I've also been with a girl I'm dating, she wanted to have sex but that would imply to try to put the Condom and I didn't even wanted to try. I'm not confident enough on my erection plus I'm only 7 days free of PM. (Longest steak was 8 days) We ended up touching each other and felt amazing. Overall I feel really optimistic i figured it out its better to stay away from P 100%. No exposure whatsoever. So I don't have strong urges.
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  9. Nope, i actually haven't had that problem for a while, this guy i was dating, we got the STD results and we were ok, so we don't use condom so that's good! i guess if i had to use condom i could have the same problem as you. Did she knows about the nofap thing? if you have confidence you can tell her. is she getting the pill or other some method? if not, you can suggest that. If she doesn't want is ok, you will have to keep going with the nofap challenge and no sex for a while until you feel confident! Take your time and no pressure!
     
  10. Sir Juice

    Sir Juice Fapstronaut

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    Hi bro, sounds like a silly question but might you have adhd? I do snd my level of distraction is so high that your case sounds very familiar to me. After my brain decides that it's not going to happen, I start making excuses, then apologies, then lying about a back ache etc... Hasn't happen to me once I got diagnosed.
     
  11. dico888

    dico888 Fapstronaut

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    Yea, I've been diagnosed with ADHD for about 11 years now. What hasn't happened to you once you got diagnosed?
    I'm distracted very quickly, but never thought it could be because of adhd. I think my performance anxiety has something to do with it too.

    If anyone has any tips, hit me up !
     
  12. Sir Juice

    Sir Juice Fapstronaut

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    Good question. I definitely suffered from a bit of performance anxiety too. I was VERY VERY lucky though. I had a very obliging female friend who I could talk to about the situation who every now and then, would give me a 'helping hand'. Regained confidence especially after I was diagnosed with adhd. Distraction is an awful thing. If I was in a foreign house or strangers bed, roomates walking around outside etc... Nothing would activate down there. I started doing things on MY terms. My bed, my house. Lot's of foreplay.
    Do you exercise bro? That too works wonders for us with adhd.
     
  13. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    I do not work out, I know I should, This it's more anxiety than erectyle disfunction you say?
    I try to avoid it for now, i havent talk to my partner yet about this situation because we've been dating for a short time. But i think i should, but it's hard to talk these things. I feel too much pressure on how I perform during sex. I have hard time relaxing.
     
  14. Sir Juice

    Sir Juice Fapstronaut

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    I hear ya. Thing is, the adhd brain doesn't relax. Hypothetically, if your partner was on the pill and said not to worry about a condom, would that make you feel better? I know that when my ex went on the pill, it was a massive relief for me.
     
  15. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    Maybe it's the fact that you're not fully recovered. You should completely abstain from sex until you're fully recovered from your P addiction, so sex can be "enjoyable."
     
  16. JakReloaded

    JakReloaded New Fapstronaut

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    Hi Second_chance!
    Any news on your issue? I started nofap for exactly the same reason. Everything works fine right up until the point when I put on the condom. Then all of a sudden my erection "deflates" rapidly and there is no way of getting it back up. I even tried medication (namely Sildenafil) which a doctor prescribed when i described the situation. This shows me that there is there is a deficit in knowledge regarding porn abuse.
    I'm a bit over three weeks in on this run and going strong. I really hope I can beat this, but I know it is hard (relapsed twice before this run)...
    I'm really interested in how things are going for you, since I feel I'm on exactly the same path as you are.
     
    UKSD likes this.
  17. Second_chance

    Second_chance Fapstronaut

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    Hey Jak how is it going. Well i've made some progress in these months, for example. When I started, i never could came when i had sex with my partner. I realize now that it's because i have intimacy issues. And im sort of a people pleaser. It's like i cant relax, or when im with her im having trouble with focus on my own pleasure and only think on making the other person feel pleased that i forgot about myself. And that results in loosing erection or never came. Cutting back porn definetly help to regain sensitivity in my penis. So I would definetly start there, Abstain for at least to weeks and try.
    I've been doing it without protection since then because we had a few bad experiences in the beggining with condoms that i think we are both afraid that something will fail again. I'm scared too. The only thing that can cure this i think it's talking to your partner and be open about what's bothering you o what you think it's on you mind. I you talk about it and she's is supportive for you like i know she will. You'll gain trust and feel more confident when engaging sex with condoms.
    I have to start trying using condoms and facing these issues as well.
    I dont know if you could understand something if not im here for you, im writing as thoughts cross my mind.
     
  18. NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    So glad you made this post. I have had this issue in the past (before I started this rebooting goal). I personally think it was performance anxiety, because when fapping on my own with a condom, it seemed less difficult to stay hard. I believe I got anxiety when it was about to be "the main event". I'm trying many online and councilor related exercises to work on the performance anxiety, and hope the reboot and no PMO help further.
     
  19. i often had this happen before....think its normal
     
  20. JakReloaded

    JakReloaded New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I already expected that I couldn't be the only one, but reading and writing about it definitely helps a long way still :) So thanks :)
    Yeah, I am really glad I have such an understanding partner. I really feel like I can tell her anything and she just gets me. It sounds corny to say it like that, but once you experience it, it absolutely is one of the best feelings in the world.
    @Second_chance I also think that I have some performance anxiety, and I also try to please her as much as I can. So everytime I "failed" I got her of in other ways. Good news incoming: She'll be going on the pill soon, so that might make for a change :D
    Oh and by the way I'm on day 40 and really going strong this time. The first couple of tries and fails were really tough, so believe me, I know the struggle is real indeed. But since talking to my girlfriend about it openly, it got a hell of a lot easier. The thing is that still very few people know about porn addiction so it was hard to tell her. I let a couple of opportunities slip, just because I honestly didn't think I could tell her. But once I told her, I just felt so much better.

    Young people really need to be educated on this. I grew up to believe there was nothing wrong with PMO. Now I strongly believe that while you might get away with the occasional MO, P really is a threat to virility. And if our young aren't getting any education on the topic, things will only get worse. At least then at some point people in general might start to realize that PMO is a huge problem.
     
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