Loosing hope makes me go back to porn

I was doing so well for a period and without PMO for months but slowly over the last year those things that motivated me faded to nothing. Like a deep lack of emotional ties to the world around me. Its all gone.Add to that i developed physical/nerv problems from my weight training that made me stop that too. Everything kind of fell apart this year.

Even started with the VR-porn again becouse it feels alot more lifelike and that i am close to a woman as i never meet any IRL anymore. Even if i did meet someone i am in so bad shape i can barely hold a conversation. VR-porn is probably superbad for the brain but i feel so emotional starved i do it anyway knowing it likely has the opposite effect in the long run.

My hope is that 2022 will be a better year. 2021 has sucked on so many levels with Covid and all. Really bad news on the TV every day, feels like the world is coming to an end. Family around me seems to be down aswell.

This thread is only me venting..