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Losing a Battle

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Drowning, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. Drowning

    Drowning Fapstronaut

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    This and everything you said I know deep down is the truth.

    The truth is, I am in love with his potential/ideal.

    I cannot but want to move past it and still somehow hope, if I find the courage to confront him, he'll find me worth making a change...
     
  2. Hanging by a thread

    Hanging by a thread Fapstronaut

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    i_wanna_get_better1 and Drowning like this.
  3. Drowning

    Drowning Fapstronaut

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    Right now he has to finish building his computer (Maybe up to $300 worth of components left) and to save for our trip to Boston next month... which can be as high as almost 1K... I will try and read the book and find a way to bring this up
     
  4. I am only asking this because I know exactly how you feel and was there a short time ago. But why are you "hoping" to be worth enough to someone who doesn't value you or hinself? Why are you begging deep inside for his attention? He should be showing all of that to you on his own, but he is damaged. Why do you put so little value on who you are and what you are worth? Why do you feel an addict that clearly doesn't want to change had more value than you do? Don't you think you should be putting effort into improving the views you have of yourself, rather than waiting for an addict deep in his addiction to one day just decide that you are worth something? You need to show yourself that you are worth more than what he can give you. Right now, you are teaching him that he is worth more than you feel you are worth. I know it's hard to admit, I never really thought I felt that way about myself until I realized I spent 5 years waiting around for him to realize I was worth it...I realized that waiting around all that time was proving to myself that I thought he was worth more than I felt I was worth, otherwise I would've left in the first couple of months when the alarm bells were going off. I ignored those warning signs because I wasn't worth enough to fight for myself. I realize now that that was the message I was telling myself every time I had to demand or beg for his attention, for a change, for a step a head. I am worth so much more than his addiction, his denials, his lack of emotional intimacy, his lies. He knows that now, but that's because I left
     
    dewdrop and TooMuchTooSoon like this.

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