Losing hope

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Spikespigel778, Oct 24, 2021.

  1. Spikespigel778

    Spikespigel778 Fapstronaut

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    I can’t stop obsessing about this ED and PE problem like idk if goin 90 days will be worth it I feel so alone at times
     
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  2. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same thing. Even being married. Even getting 7 or 14 days. I feel so lonely and bored. I try to remind myself that it will pass and this is just my brain playing tricks on me because it is not getting what I want. The reality is I am as alone with or without porn, just my brain tells me otherwise when I give it porn.
     
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  3. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

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    PMO is what is causing these problems in the first place. Are you married or have a girlfriend? If you are single, completely eliminate PMO and you will get rid of the ED for sure. The PE can also be caused by PMO. You are activating too quickly the part of your brain telling you to ejaculate. You are getting overexcited. Quitting PMO can help rebalance your brain as well
     
  4. Spikespigel778

    Spikespigel778 Fapstronaut

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    Yea man I’m 26 and single and no
    Homo
    A prettt handsome dude so it’s like I should be gettin all
    The girls but I don’t due to
    This problem
     
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  5. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

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    are you really over 200 days without porn or masturbation like your profile says?
     
  6. Spikespigel778

    Spikespigel778 Fapstronaut

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    No my longest streak is like 19 days
     
  7. rubiksnerd45

    rubiksnerd45 Fapstronaut

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    Then why would your streak be that high? Go past 19 days for real and see what happens.
     
  8. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

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    well, it’s tough to quit this habit completely. It’s a battle of ideas in your mind. I think we have no choice but to quit this habit though because as you are noticing, PMO actually hurts the body and the mind. It is not a harmless thing as some of the “experts” say
     
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  9. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I missed out on opportunities when I was your age. I’m married now but sometimes I wish I’d been man enough and not numbed out by porn to be assertive with women that were interested in me.
     
  10. haasvf2

    haasvf2 Fapstronaut

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    Good point, with or without I feel alone.
     
  11. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Bit of a weird question really.

    Has your ED improved whilst still using porn? I'm going to take a guess and say no. Will going 90 days without it be worth it? Well, what do you have to lose? You've given PMO a chance to improve the problem you're obsessing over, now try no PMO instead. Can I guarantee it will work? No, but it has a better chance than continuing with PMO - which by now I think you can conclude has a 0% chance of working.

    Good luck.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  12. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    I feel absolutely the same, here alone in my room, 31 years old, missed opportunities, wishing I was more assertive in the past.
    Can't change the past but what bugs me is that I don't see the future changing soon...ish.
    I am also a pretty handsome dude.
    I had multiple girls for ONS and girlfriends in the past, no ED but I definitely feel something is very awkward with me that doesn't let me manifest what I want in my life.
    Maybe it's porn, maybe it's my inability to force opportunities. No idea, still looking for the answer.
     
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  13. matt2k12

    matt2k12 Fapstronaut

    how long have you gone without porn?
     
  14. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    Longest streak is about 10 days... I know it's nothing.
    Yet I feel even if it was higher that wouldn't be the main issue.
    Creating opportunities and that drive to do it is.
    And that's character... damn
     
  15. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    Sounds like you're in a shame cycle. You want to beat it, you have urges and give in, then you beat yourself up about it but... you don't change anything about your approach. That's how you keep hope alive, by knowing this time it's going to be different because you're going to try something different. The new thing might not work, but you'll know it doesn't work and you'll have something else to change, and you'll have something to journal about, and you'll know that one of these days it will work.

    Or maybe you have a plan, but you're not doing the plan. Maybe for now, you find the addiction more comfortable than the plan.

    When continuing in the addiction is more painful than cutting it out, that's when you get serious. If you have a plan that's great, if not, I have ideas. Just let me know.
     
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  16. rubiksnerd45

    rubiksnerd45 Fapstronaut

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    I have been in this cycle. You beat yourself up, telling yourself never to do it again, only for you to fall back in it again. It’s a horrible place to be with horrible suffering. It’s better to cut off the addiction then linger in it.
     
  17. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    For me, I fear rejection or not being able to perform or being judged which sexual intimacy is inherent.
     
    Improv3r likes this.

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