Losing touch with reality.

jurte · Oct 25, 2021

Hi guys.

I honestly thought I’ll never be back here again, but here I go, after 24 days of being free I relapsed once again. To be honest, I feel like I’m losing my mind, I’m not in the best mental state right now I gotta say. I’m stressed about college, girl I’m speaking at the moment but most importantly I’m ruined because of my breakup which still stings. Even though I ruined my girl, because I was the one who broke up with her, generally speaking I’ve done it because of this addiction. Nothing changed, I feel like it’s getting worse, I feel like everyone’s progressing while my life is falling apart. She hates me, I know she does and instead of changing my life I fucking am still attached to this shit. I’ve wasted four hours on video chat and spent almost 75$ on cam girls, I didn’t go to my classes because my demon took over. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so tired of fighting everyday, I’ve prayed and prayed and nothing’s changing. I don’t know guys, I had just one bad day in October and suddenly everything fell apart and I have to start over… Please, someone… contact me

Robinthehood · Oct 25, 2021

jurte said: ↑

Hi guys.

I honestly thought I’ll never be back here again, but here I go, after 24 days of being free I relapsed once again. To be honest, I feel like I’m losing my mind, I’m not in the best mental state right now I gotta say. I’m stressed about college, girl I’m speaking at the moment but most importantly I’m ruined because of my breakup which still stings. Even though I ruined my girl, because I was the one who broke up with her, generally speaking I’ve done it because of this addiction. Nothing changed, I feel like it’s getting worse, I feel like everyone’s progressing while my life is falling apart. She hates me, I know she does and instead of changing my life I fucking am still attached to this shit. I’ve wasted four hours on video chat and spent almost 75$ on cam girls, I didn’t go to my classes because my demon took over. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so tired of fighting everyday, I’ve prayed and prayed and nothing’s changing. I don’t know guys, I had just one bad day in October and suddenly everything fell apart and I have to start over… Please, someone… contact me
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You were having more success than me bro! Hope you are feeling better, this, today, right now is not you for the rest of your life. These feelings will pass, the clouds will clear and you'll see the sun again. Do not worry. This stuff can defo make you feel crazy, coupled with a broken heart and it will feel like the end, but it is not. You are still processing it all and are suffering, and that is ok. Accept the reality, this moment right now. Breath in, what do you want to change? You can have one day done by this time tomorrow. Just hold fast, you can get there. Then one more day, and another. Feel free to get in touch mate.

jw2021 · Oct 25, 2021

Definitely seek out professional help right away! I done PMO for 25+ years. It sounds like you are a lot younger than me so I am glad to see your desire to change. I sure wish I would have tackled this sooner. I lost count of all the times I relapsed. If you do, you have to get back up and keep moving forward. Think about and write out on paper exactly the life you want to live. Focus on what you want instead of what you don't want. Definitely keep fighting for the life you want!

Deleted Account · Oct 26, 2021

jurte said: ↑

Hi guys.

I honestly thought I’ll never be back here again, but here I go, after 24 days of being free I relapsed once again. To be honest, I feel like I’m losing my mind, I’m not in the best mental state right now I gotta say. I’m stressed about college, girl I’m speaking at the moment but most importantly I’m ruined because of my breakup which still stings. Even though I ruined my girl, because I was the one who broke up with her, generally speaking I’ve done it because of this addiction. Nothing changed, I feel like it’s getting worse, I feel like everyone’s progressing while my life is falling apart. She hates me, I know she does and instead of changing my life I fucking am still attached to this shit. I’ve wasted four hours on video chat and spent almost 75$ on cam girls, I didn’t go to my classes because my demon took over. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so tired of fighting everyday, I’ve prayed and prayed and nothing’s changing. I don’t know guys, I had just one bad day in October and suddenly everything fell apart and I have to start over… Please, someone… contact me
Click to expand...

What did you do with those 24 days? How much time did you spend in the gym? Have you gone to see your schools counselor? Do you actually give a shit about your degree or are you just jumping through hoops because you think you have to?

There's lots you can do to change. Forget the girl, I am sure you can do better, every guy can.

MountainCross90 · Oct 28, 2021

WildEntheology said: ↑

Listen man if you're in a state right now, you've gotta call someone. There are helplines with most schools, or you can search in google "mental health helpline [your city]," to find one. They'll answer 24/7 and listen to anything you have to say without judgment. Most schools also have mental health resources that you can go to get help. No matter what, you're not alone.

With that being said, I think you need to break yourself out of this cycle of negativity. Way easier said than done. I understand that 100%, but you're focusing way too much on your relapse. Dude...you made it 24 days. That's amazing progress. This one relapse doesn't erase that progress at all. Yes, you feel like shit, but that's just because you relapsed. Don't make the mistake of confusing the feeling of relapsing with the fact that you haven't made any progress. You are getting better, you are improving.

I'm really sorry to hear about your ex-girlfriend and that things aren't going great with this new girl, but this is all good stuff. You had a girlfriend. You're talking to other girls. That's awesome. Many men here would wish to have that problem. That doesn't diminish your suffering currently, obviously it sucks to deal with a breakup. With that said though you are the type of guy who can get a girlfriend and find another girl soon after. That's fucking amazing. Celebrate those wins and realize that even while dealing with this addiction you are still capable of doing that. Imagine what it's going to be like in the next few months and years?

You made it 24 days. You can absolutely do that again. If you relapse again? Well that means that you only relapsed twice in ~50 days. That's incredible progress. That's 96%. If you got 96% on an exam or a paper would you feel down about yourself? No! You'd be celebrating. Take the time to celebrate this victory. Take the time to pat yourself on the back. You fucked up. You relapsed. You gave in. Sure...but you also got a 96% on this test. That's what this is. It's a test and you are absolutely killing it right now. Keep it up!
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I agree, its just a set back. Shift your thinking towards looking at it as a success. Use the tools you used to gain the 24 days, look deep at what caused the relapse again, journal it, and think of possible other things you can do with your time when you have to fight the urge.

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Losing touch with reality.

jurte Fapstronaut

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MountainCross90 Fapstronaut

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