Galaxy7777
Fapstronaut
I wanted to ask this because their could be others experimenting the same, i have been masturbating for many years now and have enjoyed it back then with porn, i had a problem with porn though after realizing it wasnt healthy actually for the brain in the sence that many of the scenes are just plain fantasy tricking the brain and because just maturbating infront of a monitor to some other guys cock and a womans privates just started to get old and boring and wasnt the same as when i first discovered porn, so i literaly changed my mind on porn as i saw it as a total waste of time, literally, decided to go out for real girls instead, after some time i got some what better at socializing(my social anxiety has always been very antisocial and lead me to not even talking to any girl) so i have made friends with girls and got used to being around them and learned to accept their humans like i am and not a sexual object to be imagining doing sexual relations with all the time, so porn isnt really a problem for me now, i cant even remember the last time i watched a porn video, today i still feel that its a total waste of time doing it so i view porn now as nothingless. Now, to explain where the new problem is, its now a tension relief issue, you see, when one is pressurised and feeling very stressed out, theres many drugs that inhibit the tension like smoking cigarettes(nicotine is known for reducing sexual urge) but isnt good because its addictive, so then there is Masturbation, used as a tension reliever, so i continued masturbating because it has always been an incredible tension and stress reliever and also good for going to sleep(dont know why but when i beat it off at bed time, i then go to sleep incredibly comfterbly and sleep super well), this is the main reason i have been keeping up with Masturbation, no longer a porn issue or even feeling urge because of sexual dessires, just the tension reliever effect i mostly admired, however i do know that a life without masturbation is even better, so i have tried quiting, the effect i see is that the first two/three days im perfectly fine and focus well, however i experience a somewhat focusing distraction mostly due to the tension, and for studying its just a real killer as i study a lot for exams, then after 2 weeks i start feeling lonely and like something is missing in my life, then wen trying to study i get distracted a lot(not because of sexual thoughts but because my mind sorta just goes in a continous tension and sorta losses focus or awarness i had wen masturbating and getting "back down to earth" feeling, while lossing tension and getting an incredible upgrade in awarness, like i reason better whats going on, just like wen a heroin addict takes the injection and sorta gets his shit back toghether), that it could be happening because i dont want to have sexual thoughts i am constantly thinking in other random stuff(not always but at times wen i get a feeling of the "urge"), on the positive side doing this has done very well on me at the times i actually start thinking of a sexual thought as it really makes me forgget of the bad thoughts and continue on with any other random thought, with this method i go weeks/months with no need of Masturbation and then i get somewhat used to it and adapt and live on with it, also adapt to sleeping without masturbation before bed time without any issue at all, then everything is just fine, i experience a normalization and adaption to life without it and days go on, i have the decision to stop for all my life or.... continue, because i have learned to stop it definately if i ever wanted to, so questions and doubts comes to my mind, like, "could my focusing and awarness be a lot better if i relieved some probably exisiting tension that i probably dont sense because of the adaptation without Masturbation?" i start thinking on what could go bad if i did, and as i said, i am no longer addicted to porn, and leting go of Masturbation is just very easy for me now, i have gained and mastered complete control over it, so i start thinking in the actually good times i did have when Masturbating and sorta miss it(not because of the "urge" but as like wen you missed your first blanky when a baby or wen you missed playing with your favourite toy, the nostalgia starts kicking in), so then the decision is there, to then do it or not, experiencing the loss of tension in momets on really need it or the consentartion for better focus is what has solely lead me to relapse on Masturbation and continue on, i feel if i go 3-7 days without it tensions just overflow and consentration laggs, but what im trying to figure out now, is a way to get tensions relieved and consentration at peak levels without Masturbation and quit it forever. But i am afraid to let go of it all at once because of the previous so i will try on a slower pace adaptation
