Lost sexual energy...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Maroš, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. Maroš

    Maroš Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, I've been doing NoFap for almost 2 years and I have experienced wonderful things on my first streak I had. I always felt amazing when I felt that burst of energy in my chest like an explosive was put there and pushed me in life even though I didn't change anything special in my lifestyle (just avoided PMO).

    But recently (last 7 months) all my urges started to fade away. At first I thought it was good thing, but later it felt weird, because I didn't feel that burst of sexual energy anymore. Girls stopped to notice me that much (almost zero), my energy for life lowered a lot. Even on new recent streaks I don't feel any urges for DAYS. So I changed my routine. I wake up at 5 AM, run 5 kilometers, then do resistance training, take cold shower, meditate and eat eggs with lot of vegetables and fruits. That usually takes time from 5AM to 8:30 AM. Then I usually read books and help with chores or go for a walk or etc. In the evening I practice my singing for around 90 minutes. I thought my hormones would change due to activity, exercise and mindfulness I will feel that energy again. Nothing, simply nothing. I feel emptier than I have ever felt. I have no motivation now. Everything I do now is discipline. I got almost no feelings. Even though my willpower is sky-high, I FEEL no reason to do it. I would consider this a flatline, but for this long? I tried to go out with one girl and we had some intimacy and thought that after we kissed and played with each other a bit, I would be horny again and feel that energy. Nothing. Suddenly all my mood is going down the spiral and feel like everybody else around me forgot about me and even void is more full.

    What is hapenning with me?
     
  2. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    hey man! I hope everything is going well for you! Know that things are going to get better. Stay strong and relapse is not worth it!!
     
    Maroš likes this.
  3. DanielGuevara

    DanielGuevara Fapstronaut

    Hello friend, do not be discouraged, what you are going through should be a flatline, I am currently going through a long one just like yours, but I am confident that this will be improving little by little, we will not lose patience, follow with your discipline and activities that will help you a lot to not give this much back. Greetings and a strong hug.
     
  4. Maroš

    Maroš Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for support.
    What do you do in order to "boost" yourself through this flatline? How do you cope with it?
     
  5. DanielGuevara

    DanielGuevara Fapstronaut

    The main thing I do is accept the present moment internally, seeking not to fall into negativity, if I get depressed or fall into frustration I would not be constructing anything positive. The other thing I do is to have confidence in the future and in God, accepting that all the things that come to us bring us teaching and growth that is priceless even if we do not understand it at all.

    Greetings, a strong hug
     
    Hitto likes this.
  6. PornFreeMe

    PornFreeMe Fapstronaut

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    Sexual energy isn't a constant. That's part of life. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. Don't freak out, you're completely normal. Our society is hyper-sexual, through various forms of media. That's a lie, we aren't hyper sexual. Nature isn't hyper sexual. Do not fall prey to these lies that seem to invade our man-minds and make us question ourselves. Sexual energy is a sin-wave. It goes up and it comes down. Part of the biggest tragedy, though- is when you're younger, that frequency and amplitude are way stronger and more profound. As we get older, the power seems to dissipate. Shame so many of us wasted and misdirected our sexual energy at youth through our heinous porn/internet addictions. Let this serve as more fuel to the fire to be clean. You are a healthy male. When you're 70, it'll all mostly be gone unless you get on extensive test-replacement! Even then, with modern medicine, we can remain and feel virile.

    Don't sweat it, you're normal!
     
    Hitto, Maroš and DanielGuevara like this.
  7. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    Can't speak for your hormonal response specifically, (testosterone is the biggest driver of sex drive) but I do know what happens if you don't use a part of your body or brain in general... it atrophies. During those 2 years, did you try to cut yourself off from all stimulation or anything?

    What's your hormone levels like? It's entirely possible to crash your endocrine system via overtraining, but only serious athletes really get to that point. It really doesn't sound from your description like you're doing that. Apologies for the personal Q, but you still have morning wood, yeh?
     
  8. Maroš

    Maroš Fapstronaut

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    Surely I have a morning wood and ocassional erections throughout the day. And I am trying to reduce the amount of artifical stimulation (PC games, TV, junk food (I consider it as an artifical stimulation) and etc.). I don't know anything about my hormone levels, but I think they are ok since I donate blood and everything's fine. I am also trying to do my best to keep a positive outlook and attitude. Find a part-time job, hang-out with people (which is hard now because I live in village pretty distant from my friends and females). How do you handle being partly-separated from people for a longer time than usual?
     
  9. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    As long as you're getting involuntary boners, that side of the equation is fine.

    How is it that you're socially isolated from chicks? (that you'd want to fuck... lil ol' grandmas don't count)

    When you're not isolated by location, do you have any trouble meeting people, or is that difficult as well?
     
  10. Maroš

    Maroš Fapstronaut

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    Well, I live in a village with population roughly 500 people (consist mostly of older people or adults, there are also some girls my age here, but I have no interest in them, but I talk with them ocassionally). And when I want to go to one bigger near city (+- 240 000 people), I have to travel 40kms and on a daily basis it would cost a lot (even with student discount I would pay around 3$ to get there and back). I tried some online "dating" sites to find people from nearby village (since you don't go from house to house to meet new people), but you know how these sites work. And when I am not isolated by location, I don't have a big problem talking to new people (usually casual small talk, and 1 out of 10 people stuck with me for a bit longer). I was also thinking if that low "horniness" isn't from a lack of seeing other girls as much as I used to in a city. What do you think?
     
  11. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    You're in luck. I grew up in a town of about 300 people myself. The closest city was about 100km away. Lots of similar dynamics.

    At one point I thought that I might be gay or something because I didn't have much of an attraction towards any of the women in my hometown growing up, even the married ones. It wasn't until I moved to the city for uni that I realized a few things.

    a) While TV is pretty unrealistic as to what the average woman looks like, so was my town, but from the opposite direction. The average woman worldwide is not, in fact, built like Jabba the Hut.

    b) If a non-married high school grad (doubly so for girls) is even slightly smart, talented or pretty, she leaves town as soon as humanly possible in search of opportunities that simply don't exist in such a tiny place... and she's not wrong to do so. Meaning the people that stay behind have, shall we say a tendency for being dull and unattractive.

    c) My libido (horniness) varies based on my amount of exposure to women I find attractive.


    Doesn't do much for "what to do about it", but at least you can know that you're not crazy, broken, or even alone.
     
  12. Maroš

    Maroš Fapstronaut

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    Damn, dude. I like what you summed up here. Mostly your point c) hit home, will improve it. Thank you for relating and support. Would you mind telling me more about how did you deal with that situation before moving to the city?
     
  13. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

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    I didn't. Unlike you it sounds like, I was born there, no previous experience to fall back on.
    I was missing a lot of vital social skills (talking to strangers, what's a stranger?) when I made the move. Keep in mind this was more than 20 years ago, though.

    I was very fortunate (or not, keep reading) in that I was able to make a lot of money very quickly in college, which led to me never finishing and getting a lot of exposure to a lot of the kind of people that didn't much care if I had a personality or not, as long as I was paying the bills, who tend not to be all that good for personal growth.
    It wasn't until the $ dried up and I was essentially left back where I started, in the city, broke and alone that I had to start learning how to get along. Which was really starting from scratch, but now I had a taste for what was possible. Caviar taste but a pizza face, as they say.

    I still have a lot of that today. While I now have perfectly good social skills, women often pursue me, people are genuinely happy to see me and enjoy my company, and I for the mostpart enjoy theirs, my ability to handle them is somewhat limited. I can do it, but unlike extroverts, who derive energy from social interactions, it takes energy to do them. I have maybe 8 hrs of people in me tops before I just want to check out to a sofa and a book for a couple days.

    Now I have a much more Buddhist approach to life, which is not to say I'm a Buddhist, I'm not. I'm just very aware that my desires, while motivating me to go out and do things, are also the source of unease. I don't have any real desire for women now, because I know they really don't effect my level of contentment or happiness. If I'm miserable without a chick, I'm probably even more miserable with one, because now I have two sets of problems and insecurities to deal with. (never expect another person to deal with their own shit voluntarily. It can happen, but it's not common, so don't expect it of any random person)

    I only get involved now unless it's a very clear improvement on my current life, which I'm perfectly happy with as is. Which has resulted in a lot of what I call 24/2 gfs. (as opposed to 24/7) We would see each other on the weekends, then go about our lives during the week. That sounds like something you may be able to work into your own situation via the close city and dating sites? Dunno.

    That's not to say I don't have pangs of guilt or regret about not being "normal" from time to time, but that's mainly when I spend too much time around brainless "norm" pursuits like TV, movies or music.... all of which revolve around mating and love 99% of the time. Every hero has a love interest to win, every chick show ends with a wedding and a "happily ever after". Even the movie Mongol, a biopic of the most prolific rapist in all human history has a love story shoehorned into it. That can really make a person that doesn't much care about (or have access to, in your case) that shit feel like they're missing something after awhile, no matter how ridiculously unrealistic those portrayals are.

    So I basically cut that shit out of my life. Screens are for communications, education, work, and sports now, that's it. THat helped a LOT.
     

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