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Lost the battle..

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Nath1234, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. Nath1234

    Nath1234 Fapstronaut

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    Lost my first battle..

    Feeling very much depressed and ashamed of myself, that I have dragged myself in this inglorious hole, which will soon ruin my life, if I continue this PMO. I constantly know its a mistake, but the brain somehow drifts to the darkest corner of the brain...

    Relapsed again into the dirty hole...

    I will give it one more TRY!
     
  2. Don't give it just one more try, Nath! Give it as many tries as you need to get out of that hole! Don't let a relapse get you down. You're stronger than that!
     
  3. Nath1234

    Nath1234 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the support , mumchance.
     
  4. "You never fail until you stop trying" - Albert Einstein
    Try to hit 2 digits this time:confused:
    by 2 digits I mean 99 days;)
    but first make it 10 days ok
     
  5. You may have lost a battle, but you haven't lost the war!
     
  6. Nath1234

    Nath1234 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Ankur , my first target is 10 days now..

    Thanks Obi-Wan, yes The War is still on, a long road to be traveled before reaching Peace..serene beautiful & pure Peace....
     
  7. pics

    pics Fapstronaut

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    it's true !! You didn't lost the war. I am like you in this battle. I feel that it's a hard battle above all with the urges. But don't feel like shit, you fell but you are up now and it's the most important. Good luck and don't lose hope ;)
     
  8. I saw your post. I don't know of any guy who has been successful, who has accomplished quitting porn addiction, who did it the first time. No one has done it the first time. So, don't beat yourself up for not doing it the first time. That said, you will never be successful unless you have a now and then, before and after, picture of who you want to be. You cannot be the same person you are now and be successful quitting the addiction, you have to become someone fundamentally different.

    It is important for you to ask yourself, who am I? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? If you are a slave to porn, your purpose is to become a free man. Just that simple. When quitting porn you will go through withdrawals. It is inevitable. By definition, one who is addicted will go through withdrawals when quitting. Why did you fail? The name that you have to put on those feelings that made you feel it impossible to go further...is withdrawals. That is your dopamine deprived brain punishing you for depriving it of the drug you have fed it daily for years by pushing the porn button. You have to recognize this. Know it for what it is, and be prepared, when it hits you, to say "no". Not now, not ever, never again. Saying "no" when all you have to do is say "yes" to stop the pain will be one of the most difficult things you have ever done. Until and unless, mentally, you get to that point, you will always cave. Porn addiction cannot be quit casually, like a hobby, from the sidelines. It has to be quit deliberately, angrily even, focused, with a clear purpose and understanding that you are "quitting", not cutting back, not trying to control it, that you are expelling it 100%, and you have to be willing, and not just willing but eager, to embrace the physical, mental, and emotional pain that quitting pushing that dopamine button is going to give you. If you are not willing to suffer, if you can't suffer, won't suffer, won't look forward to suffering, you probably will not succeed.

    I want to see you succeed here, and I know you can, but the only guys who succeed here are those who, for at least 90 days, are 100% committed, and truly understand, what they are doing and how much it is going to hurt, and are willing to take that pain. None of us can fuck up our brain's reward center for years and expect it to just "get better", ever, and certainly not overnight. That is a pleasant thought, but quitting porn is the opposite of a pleasant thought. You need to sit down, literally, go some place, a coffee shop maybe, some place where you can be alone and ponder your existence and ask yourself how serious you are about quitting porn and what you are willing to do to quit it. If you are less than 100% serious about it, don't even start, because the addiction is 100% serious about you continuing to use it, for you continuing to be a slave to it for the rest of your life, and the addiction never just "goes away." Despite your best intentions you will never wake up one day and just be "cured." It won't happen. It takes more effort than many of us have ever been required to give.

    So, go ask yourself the question: Who am I? The answer needs to be: for the next 90 days, I am a man quitting porn. If your answer is anything other than that...well, grab a beer and light up your lap top some place where you won't be disturbed...for the next 40 years.

    I wish you success in all things. I hope you ask the right question. I hope you answer with the right answer.

    Peace.

    WilliamOneAndDone.
     
  9. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    You've got a goal, you've got a counter and you're here. That's a good start.

    What you need now is a strategy. What are your avoidable triggers, and how do you plan to avoid them? What is your plan for dealing with unavoidable triggers? Because the world is full of them and you're going to have to figure out how to deal with them if you're going to win this fight.

    This battle is too hard to win without a strategy. What's yours?
     
  10. Nath1234

    Nath1234 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Eleven..

    I am in IT professional with a laptop being provided to work from home (if need arises)...

    1.That is where I keep faltering.
    2.Dont have a proper in-house schedule in place, when to go for dinner, how much Internet time, when to go to bed, etc
    3. Dont have a habit which I can say I just blindly love , except to write blogs( about random topics).


    My strategy ::

    Dig into my habit of writing, communicating my views on nay given topic (which interest me :)) to the public via my blogs.

    Set up a disciplined in-house time table.

    Try picking up new habit, I am interested in Photography , as I have keen observation skills.

    Pray.



    Any suggestions are welcome :)
     
  11. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    Can you install blocking software on your work laptop? If so, that would be a good place to start.

    Setting up a detailed schedule also sounds like a good idea, as long as you have things to fill in where you used to PMO. Photography sounds like a great idea, and journaling (here or elsewhere, although I recommend here so you can take advantage of feedback from fellow travelers) is as well. Others include exercise, walks, reading (including reading other journals here) and....no surprise, coming from me, meditation.
     

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