Lost with a goal to defeat that devil .

I've been pushed down by this pandemic. Having my goals put in hold... Feeling stuck , sentenced to a jail life. On top of that , I haven't been able to meet my girlfriend for a long time. All of it ideal breading ground for porn .

Looking back ,I first met this hideous monster in early 2012's .back then with access to Internet ,I started with softcore movie scenes ..never knowing what explicit porn is .come 2013 .I was really in it. Having masturbated every day or every other day . gradually ,it became part of my life. Since then ,I can't think of a week I went without rubbing one out .

I knew ,I had a problem but,kept pushing it back. 2017's I had managed to subside it a bit but,it kept coming back ..I never found the resolve to tackle it. Everytime ,I found myself in stress or bored ,I turned it on right away.

I masturbated in office ,in dorms ,in school ,in retreats ..it has become a addiction.

That is until ,this pandemic ..with time ,I see what it's doing to my life. My time ,my eyes ,my libido ,my relationship and my passion have all been in porn's grip. Even more so,these past 2 years .

I tried some timing system but,always put the fault on my libido ..trying to time my ejaculation rather than at the issue. I see it now ,that i've got to tackle porn head on. Its been almost 10 years ,I will weed it out before it gets 11. No more!

Starting dec 1,2021 ..I've adapted a system to extend my porn free period from 1 -2- 3 -7 -10 -15-30 -50 -75 -90 days. I know it will be hard but, I can't wait to take my life back to live a life without the grip of addiction of dopamine hipe .

Porn really is a silent killer of dreams .

I write this to put my resolve into words