Lots of anxiety on what counts as a relapse

In general it's agreed that if it's not intentional then it doesn't count, but if you KEEP looking at it that's different because that's your choice.

I would suggest not to get obsessive about it, but just understand the point. Also you probably can tell depending on which friend sends you the link whether it's likely to be porn or have something like p-Sub. In the long run you're going to have to deal with that, maybe ask them what it is and if they won't tell you or especially if they keep doing it even say you don't want to get that kind of links. So yes there's some question about peer pressure. It's not as simple as "does X count" when you may keep getting it, just knowing what counts doesn't give you a real answer, or rather a solution.

 

That's why I said you may need to prevent it, remember not to click right away when people send you stuff and maybe even talk to them about/ask them not to send it.

 

https://nofap.com/faq/what-is-a-porn-addiction-relapse/

 

My first successful 90 day run was filled with accidental, and even a few non-accidental peeks. Game of Thrones was big back then, and I remember getting nervous like you during the lewd scenes. By day 65 my PIED was healed just the same and I went back to having a normal sex-life. So my advice: don't sweat it.

 

As per the link @Revanthegrey sent, relapse is a full on conscious choice to kick your rewiring to the curb and indulge in P. In terms of recovery, this is an important distinction from reset. Anxiety on the whole isn't good for you, but it is indication that you're full in this. You definitely did not relapse.

I do sympathize with anxiety about reset, especially inadvertent reset. Let's walk through it.

Your brain is accustomed to large bursts of dopamine caused by novel images of erotic content. The habit is a process, where you seek a revolving set of images or content as you escalate the dopamine flow through M, culminating in a massive burst with O. You are working on rewiring your brain so it doesn't crave that process any more.
What happened, and what will continue happening, is the sight of a single erotic image. It probably gave you a small hit of dopamine. It also gave you some cortisol (stress). You're going to see more of those, and the longer you go without PMO, the more your brain will respond to increasingly less provocative images. You'll see things that didn't arouse you before, but they will now; a magazine cover, a woman in tight workout clothes, an overheard comment, will trip your brain into saying, "that's the thing! The thing you need, we have to follow that up!" But that's the key. Follow up.
If you continue the old process of seeking novel erotic content to keep that drip of dopamine going, even if it's through fantasizing a scenario, driving yourself to higher levels of arousal, that's reinforcing the old habit. That's compromising the rewiring. That's a reset. If, however, you arrest that process by identifying what is going on and choosing to put the image away and think about something else, all you get is a small hit of dopamine. You are retraining your brain to respond appropriately to erotic content, which is to acknowledge its presence but not pursue and exploit it for a disproportionate reward. Does that make sense?

You are going to encounter erotic content in the big wide world. It's out there, for everybody to run into at any given moment. Training how to respond appropriately is a necessary part of the process, otherwise you place control of your recovery and your well being in the hands of your friends and various entities who do not care about you. The key to taking control of it is to have a thought pre-loaded. That way, if you see something triggering, you immediately have something interesting and worthwhile to replace the distraction.
You can think about your goals, immediate or distant, or a verse or mantra, an inspirational quote, anything that applies to your interests. If you don't replace that thought, and continue to think about the thing you saw, and either during or after you identify points where you know you could have interrupted it, that's a reset. Even if you follow the whole thing to a session of PMO, then you kick yourself a bit and get back on the NoFap train, that's a reset. If you binge for a week, that's relapse.

 

That sounds like garden variety anxiety.
You made a rule to see no P, but you did see some. Not under your control, but you saw some and that violated the rule. You need a better rule.

New Rule; do not look for P, and do not fantasize before, during, or after you catch a glimpse of P or P sub that you did not look for.

If you do, that's a reset and resets are ok. If not, no need to reset. Keep that counter going, because you are doing what you need to rewire your brain.

 

You didn't look for P. You''re in the clear on that count. If you also didn't fantasize about that erotic stuff, then you need to tell that anxiety to shut the hell up because now it's lying to you. It's increasing your stress, and you're going to require dopamine to counter that stress, and your brain knows where to get a lot of dopamine very easily.

Keeping yourself on an even mental health keel is an important part of quitting PMO. That includes being kind to yourself when you deserve it, which is probably more often than you think.

 

daily routine of activities that have high sexual repression is your greatest way to escape.

reading is NOT an activity that tends to distract you from IDLE THOUGHTS.

physical work that involves your mind is great combo. mental work with no physical activity is not that great. physical work with no mental activity is not that great.

the two combined is the best

but realize, any sort of achievement gives you a testosterone boost as nature intended. testosterone boost always makes you horny, channel it into OTHER achievements, always be moving forward

 

the conditioned response is a very terrible thing, you are having a conditioned response, you are a dog salivating to a stimulis.

understanding how the conditioned response works will free you as a jacklift lifts a tractor that has pinned you underneath.

REPLACE the conditioned response with something that is as ASEXUAL as possible, such as something STRESSFUL but productive and good

 

https://nofap.com/faq/what-is-a-porn-addiction-relapse/

That should put your mind at rest a good bit. When you read this you realise a lot of guys on this forum actually go over the top with a lot of this nofap, pornfree stuff.

I mean read this

Remember, a relapse is all about intention. If you have a one-time slip-up by accident or a fluke occurrence where you don’t give up on the recovery process, it probably would not count as a relapse within a clinical setting. Relapses are an abandonment of your recovery plan.

But how many guys on here would actually say this was a relapse? A lot I would say. So when a guy has a slip, jacks off to porn, but then continues with their recovery plan. Nofap is basically saying this is not a relapse. But how many guys on this forum would say this is a relapse? I would honestly say the majority of guys on this forum would say this is a relapse.